Punch (70.1876)

March 25, 1876.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 117

DOWAGERS DEVELOPED.

(On the Rink.)

That strange Australian animal, To turn into a dowager, '' Ornis-onuthos—Greek for bird."

Half-bird, half-beast, whole puzzle, Upon her " Spillers " balanced, Quoth Punch behind his blinkers,

Needs little humouring, after all, "With hands outstretched to steady her, " Old rinkers in plumed hats—absurd—

Of paws and duck-billed muzzle, And rink-hat feather-valanced. Call 'em, ornitho-rinkers ! "

APPREHENDED OUTRAGE AT HAMMERSMITH.

According to a Correspondent of the Times, some wretch con-
nected with Hammersmith proposes to cut down the noble trees by
the River side at the end of the Mall, two hundred years old, and
said to have been planted by the Queen of Charles the Second.
If so, and the caitiff is only quick enough about his work, he will be
in time to cause regret and annoyance to numerous spectators who will
miss those picturesque objects at the University Boat-Race. Let us,
therefore, be informed, as soon as possible, who this fellow is,
in order that, whilst all the Philistines, and snobs that rejoice
in "Vandalism, and revel in the _ destruction of ancient memorials,
will unite in applauding his design, every possible opposition may
be offered to it by every sensible person who can make any.

An Enigma.

(Apropos of the Oxford Professor on Political Economy, BonAmy
Price, Esa., M.A.)

All questions of Exchange

Are settled in a trice
At Oxford University

By reference to Price.
Still it is understood

Political Economy
Has never yet held good

With what proceeds from Bonhomie.

Inhabited House Duty—The Servants'. And I wish they'd do
it.—Yours, Paterfamilias.

Slippery Ground.

The following note occurs in a column of Southampton news :—

"Charles Edwards is announced to give Gospel addresses in the new
Skating Rink to-morrow (Sunday) afternoon and evening."

To serve the purpose of Mr. Edwards, a Skating Rink seems
about as fit as a Circus ; but authority for preaching both in season
and out of season may equally warrant preaching whether in or out
of place. However, perhaps a sermon would not be quite out of
place in a Skating Rink, where it might touch backsliders.

Elementary Education.

The Elements of late have been unusually unruly. Meetings
to*promote Elementary Education have had not the slightest effect
in restraining their violence, so as to keep them from tearing tele-
graphic wires, and throwing tiles and chimney-pots. There are
Elements which nobody as yet has been able to master ; hence the
late tempestuous weather. Better luck to the efforts of philanthro-
pists to educate the people.

Proposal to Parliament.

In order to the more effectual exclusion of private jobbery from
Parliamentary proceedings, suppose you resolve that any Honourable
Member accepting office as a Railway Chairman or Director, shall
by the fact of so doing, like the receiver of a Ministerial appoint-
ment, vacate his seat, and ere he is permitted to resume it, have to
offer himself for re-election.