Punch (70.1876)

April 22, 1876.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

161

FAMILY LIKENESS.

"Mummy, Darling, may I give my Biscuit to the Monkey?"
" No, Love. Come along ! "

"May I give it to the Monkey's Papa, Mummy?"

DIGGINGS IN SPAIN.

According to the Paris Correspondent of
the Economist, a M. Mannequin, at a
meeting of 'the Parisian Political Economy
Society, maintained an assertion, which he
had previously made to M. Joseph Gar-
nler, "that gold-mines had just been dis-
covered in Spain of such marvellous rich-
ness that they might contribute to restore
the normal relative value — 15| to 1 —
between the two metals ; " to wit, gold and
silver. M. Mannequin added that a Com-
pany was now being formed to work the
gold-field whose richness he thus described.
The foregoing intelligence seems a great
deal too good to cheer even the most san-
guine of ..Spain's creditors. Few of them
probably will expect the Spanish gold-
mines, of which M. Mannequin has an-
nounced the discovery,to turn out anymore
substantial than the celebrated " Castles "
peculiar to Spain. By the bye, does not
Mannequin in French mean what in Eng-
land is called a dummy or lay-figure ?
This is surely a suspicious source for such
startling information.

Lines Picked Up at tlie Brixton
Rink.

Upon the Rink the Lady sat,
Beside her lay her dainty hat,

All crumpled;
She looked the picture of distress,
So dusty was her pretty dress,

And rumpled!

" I can't get up," in faltering tone,
She said. I thought that, perhaps, alone

She would not.
I picked her up. She was not hurt—
'Twas but the tightness of her skirt—

She could not!

New Coinage.—The Indian Half-crown.

THE PREMIER'S PORTFOLIO.

"No doubt the Premier's folio is well-stocked with topics."—Morning
Paper.

1. A scheme for altering the colours of the Union Jack, so that
the flag, when viewed from a distance, may resemble the gold-
yellow, white, and black of Austria, Russia, and Germany.

2. A proposal to return Political Refugees to their respective
Governments, on application being made to the hotel-keepers of
Leicester Square and its neighbourhood.

3. Notes for a " New and Imperial History of England," in which
Great Britain will be represented as a part of India.

4. A Treatise upon " The Value of Wasting Time," intended as a
handbook for the use of Statesmen occupying the Treasury Bench.

5. How I Purchased the Rightj)f Way over the Suez Canal for
£4,000,000. A Romance.

6. A Guide-Book to the Court of Bankruptcy, dedicated to His
Highness the Khedite.

7. Practical Hints upon Court Tailoring—showing how a States-
man's Coat may be easily converted into a Lackey's Livery.

8. Bo to a Goose ; or the English Bismarck, the Russian Bear,
and Imperialism Triumphant. A Burlesque. By the Author of
Ixion in Heaven, &c, &c.

9. The Statesman's Vade-mecum. Being a collection of Nursery
Rhymes, extracts from old Almanacks, cuttings from school-books,
&c, &c.

10. The Schoolmaster Abroad. A Sequel to How to Educate a
Party. By the same Author.

11. Crowning the Edifice. A Poem, in fragments.

12. A Serial Story, entitled Benjamin's Mess—an Everyday
Experience.

Patriotic if you Like !—"What Mr. Punch wishes the whole of
the Royal Family—Many Happy^Returns !

DEATH IN .THE DOSE.

A notable case of what a great living poet calls '' pestling a
poisoned poison" came to light the other day before a Poliee
Magistrate. The Times reports that—

"At Greenwich, Maiiy Kirby, chemist, of Trafalgar Eoad, Greenwich,
was summoned for an offence under the Adulteration Act. The Officer stated
that on the 8th ult. he went to the defendant's shop and asked for two ounces
of milk of sulphur. On receiving it he told the defendant that it had been
bought to be analysed. The defendant said that she had no reason to believe
anything was wrong, and that it was what was usually sold as milk of sulphur.
The analyst's certificate showed that the article sold contained forty-five per
cent, of sulphate of lime. A fine of five shillings and two shillings costs was
imposed."

And'so the justice of the case was perhaps met, if the defendant,
a female chemist and druggist, had done no worse than neglecting
to assure herself that her drugs were pure. But then who were the
wholesale dealers by whom she was supplied with ostensible 1' milk
of sulphur " nearly one half of it plaster of Paris ? The adulteration
of this pulverulent sort of milk is rather more prejudicial to health
than that of the fluid so-called, otherwise " sky-blue," diluted only
with the_ juice from " the cow with the iron tail." Milk of sulphur
is a medicine ; but sulphate of lime, if swallowed, can answer no
purpose but that of taking neat and elegant casts of the interiors of
the digestive organs. These, however accurate and admirable, form
obstructions producing such results as to justify the declaration
that, if Mrs. Kirby was sufficiently punished with a penalty of
seven sMllings, some other dealers in drugs and chemicals ought to
be hanged.

geology and the stock-exchange.

We understand that, in compliment to the Right Honourable
Member for Shoreham, speculators for the fall in Egyptian Securi-
ties will be known for the future as " Cave Bears."