Punch (70.1876)

May 27, 1876.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

217





i. ■ l i] )



ft

■ tJ

A DAUGHTER OF ERIN.

The new Cook {on receiving "short" notice to leave, with a hint that she has given a false
Character). "An' is it me false Character ye're aether casting in me Teeth! As
if I'd be bringing me thrue Character wid me, to lose it in your dirty Service!"

MRS. PARTINGTON PROTESTS.

" It is an honest grievance to our Nonconformist fellow Christians."—Lord Granville on the Law of
Burial.

Well, that's a good 'un ! Does he mean as Methody turn-and-twistians,
Including Shakers and Quakers, should be called "our feller Christians " ?
They '11 bust the Church up, as sure as sparks flies uppards from the anvil,
If they go follering the lead of dodgers like this 'ere Granville !

" Feller Christians," indeed ! What next ? I'm surprised at his imperence wentering
To rank genteel Church-folks like us with low people that goes Dissentering :
A mixing things up like that in a way to shock any decent Sexton!
Why make arrangements in this world as must be changed in the next 'un ?

Oh, surely wengeance is waiting Lord GL and his like to wisit;
Wich in course there's only one Church, and in course the Church of England is it.
Don't talk to me of patterns set by Turks, Chinamen, or 'Ungarians ;
We 're bound to stand on our rights, and not knock under to sich barbarians !

But if we must look abroad for 'ints, my pattern would be the Spanish-

(What d' ye say ? I'm the werry party they 'd be fust to.burn or banish ?
Any way, you know where you has 'efh—they speak out firm and,manly :
Better a straightfor'ard Don, I say, than an Anythingarian Stanley.

There ain't no proper Church, only us. Them as steals our name is trying
To steal our Church-yards too. All their lives they keep railing and, after dying,
They wants to git over our railings, for which all sorts o' dodges they wenters.
" Feller Christians " ain't no name for 'em—a rubbishing lot of Dissenters!

Grievance indeed ! A pretty 'Start I Pickpockets will next be feeling
The arm o' the law a grievance, when it comes down on 'em for stealing.
Which what I says^is let em grieve—it's all their aggerawation.
Leave 'em to me and Salisbury, and both 'Ouses o' Convocation!

Them Bishops is too mealy-mouthed by

'alf. As to Granville, why his organ
Just plays the werry same old tune we've

'eard from Miall and Morgan.
The Church's Ark is bound to fall in the

hands of the Philistians,
If chaps like them, and maybe wuss, is to

call theirselves " feller Christians " !

ALL AFLOAT!

At the second of the late Scientific Con-
ferences at South Kensington the President,
Dr. C. William; Siemens, announced an
astounding exploit performed by M. Tresca,
Sous-Directeur of the Paris Conservatoire
des Arts et Metiers, who had read the
meeting an account of his researches into
" the flow of solids." In proposing a vote
of thanks'to M. Tresca, Dr. Siemens said
that '' by his investigations he had thrown
down the barrier between solids and
liquids." A scientific achievement of over-
whelming immensity ; but what a confusion
it must create in the nature of things!

ENGLAND VJEESUS GREECE.

Just now the Painter and the Bard
Are caught with this caprice—

That England's prosy, dreary, hard,
While beauty dwells in Greece.

Hence six-foot Atalanta's Race
'Gainst odds, and apples, heavy :

Hence laurelled Theban maidens pace,
And sing, a wax-doll bevy.

While Art seeks Greek ideals cold,

Mock-antique Bard^ indite,
And tales in Lempriere's prose o'er-told,

In puling verse recite.

At nobler fruits high souls might seize,
Than those we 're like to swallow

From Browning-Aristophanes,
Or SwiNEtrRNE-sham-Apollo.

Far fairer were more native growth,

And pleasanter 'twould be
If Poetry and Painting both

Would work on what they see.

High in a place of power we stand

In an heroic time,
When there are doings in our land

For picture meet, or rhyme.

Greece painted Greece, and sang of Greece,
And cut Greek youth in marble,

And so won fame that shall not cease,
And glory none can garble.

England has sung of England too :
There's Shakspeare, rivals scorning,

And glorious Chaucer, tender, true,
Minstrel of England's morning.

Reynolds and Gainsborough keep in life
The Great Men and the Graces,

That guided England's public strife,
And wore sweet English faces.

Hogarth on England's social sores

Used pencil scalpel-keen,
Whose vivisection to the cores

Of vice cut clear and clean.

Poet and Bard, use eye and brain

Like them on life around;
If true the picture, strong the strain,

You, like them, will be crowned.

If statelier theme be not at hand,

With humbler themes begin :
Try lyric of the Four-in-Hand,

Or idyl of an Inn.
Try English landscapes, women, men,

Till Punch shall thunder, " Cease ! —
Too poor for England, Brush and Pen,

Your weakness waste on Greece! "