Punch (77.1879)

34

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAEI.

[Joly 26, 1879.

CLOISTER COSTUMES!

(Suitable for Devotees and Wet Weathee.)

HAPPY-THOUGHT GUIDE TO LONDON.

For the Use of Visitors to Town in general, and Young Men from the Country in particular.

BAKER STREET BAZAAR and MADAME TUSSAUD'S EXHIBITION—We add the
latter, because no one will wait for " T " if he has had no lunch, and wants to see as much
as he can in a day or two. Baker Street Bazaar is a perfect Beehive of industry, including
the Wax-works. An annual subscription entitles anyone to become a Fellow of Madame
Tussaud's. The amount of the subscription touches four figures, which is in itself a
privilege, as the public is ordinarily requested not to touch even one figure. Once a year
the principal Characters dine at the Mansion House with the Lobd Mayor—a custom dating
from the time of the Norman kings, most of whom were brought up at St. Cire, in France,
and were personally acquainted with the Great Madame Tussaud. After awhile there was
a split between the Royal House and the Tussauds, and a rival aristocratic show was
attempted to be set up in Westminster Abbey. This made the Tussauds more "waxy"
than eyer {vide Schoolboys' History), and they then completed their establishment on a
scale of magnificence which entirely threw that of the Abbey into the shade, which is one
reason for the Abbey being so cool on a hot day. The Exhibition at the Abbey now consists

of only a few figures up in a loft, and
brings in but a scanty revenue to the
Dean who receives a gratuity for exhibit-
ing them. Unfortunately for the exhibi-
tor's perquisites, his visitors are not paying
ones, as they generally contrive to come
"with an order." {This will save some
time when we come to " TV"—Westminster,
and " O" Order.) The principal effigies
at Baker Street are most hospitable to
strangers, and entertain everyone, whether
of distinction or without distinction. N.B.
—A hint to the young Slybootses from the
Country. It is no use waiting at the side
door to see the Sleeping Beauty, Mary,
Queen of Scots, or any of the young Ladies
of the establishment coming out after the
Show is over ; and any three-cornered
billet-doux, whether accompanied by a
bouquet or a bracelet, will be immediately
returned.

BALLOONS.—Anyone wishing to have a
balloon during his stay in London, can do
so. Apply to the Secretary of the Windham
Club, _ Ayr Street. The charges are two-
and-sixpence for the first hour—shilling
extra to the man, if taken—and sixpence for
every quarter of an hour afterwards, a de-
posit being paid in advance. The charge for
one ascent is usually five shillings, depend-
ing a great deal on where you want to go.
There is no third class. The descent is ten
shillings more. A traveller by this species
of conveyance is not compelled, any more
than by cab or train regulations, to return
by the same conveyance, as, when he arrives
at his destination, he may, if he pleases, get
out and walk. A favourite excursion, in
fine weather, is to the Milky Way, where
London visitors can refresh themselves with
milk fresh from the cow, and after inspect-
ing the celebrated bull, " Taurus," as well
known as Paul Potter's, they can take a
turn in the dockyard to see the Ram, and
thence, by ticket, to the Zodiacal Gardens.
Hire a good horoscope from one of the
attendants, and notice the architecture of
the new Chateaux en Espagne, nd the Old
Castles in the Air. If you take our advice,
you will let your balloon wait for you, and
return as you came. It saves trouble, and
thus you will have spent a happy, profitable,
and a not uninstructive day.

BANKERS' CLEARING-HOUSE—En-
trance at side door near the Bank. Here,
at four o'clock every day, the " Clearers,"
as they are called, get rid of all the super-
fluous cash and notes that would otherwise
impede the circulation in the City. Second-
hand sovereigns are chucked out in shovel-
fuls, and five-pound-notes, that have only
been used once, are carted off into unclaimed
dividends, unless purchased, at so much a
packet, by those who happen to be present.
No unreasonable offer is refused, and, in
fact, the stock is really given away. The
proceeding is on the plan adopted by the
butchers, fishmongers, and confectioners,
with the perishable articles at the end of
the day, and by Clubs with their used packs
of cards. It is simple laziness that prevents
everybody, with such a chance at hand,
becoming a millionnaire in, at all events,
a small way. Police are in attendance to
keep order, and the band of the Coldstream
Guards plays every Saturday from two to
four. „„ .

THE BANK OF ENGLAND. — This
great Bank is nearly as old as the oldest
cliffs, and used to be known as the Golden
Sand Bank. It offers a home to its
broken-down employes under the name of
"Reduced Consols," who are a sort of
poor bedesmen, and wear a peculiar kind
of gown which is made by the Old Lady
of Threadneedle Street. At the Bank,