DOI issue:
February 19, 1881
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17750#0082
74
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 19, 1881.
AFTER THE PARTY.
Elderly Coquette. "And I'm sure you naughty Girls sat up ever so late, talking us over
how I should like to have hid myself behind a SCREEN and heard it all ! "
Horrid Boy. "No, You wouldn't ! "
THEjVOICE.OE.THE TURTLE.
Sir,—I send you a cutting from a
contemporary:—■
FTIURTLE SOUP.—Thick, Clear, In-
JL valid's Green Fat, in Quarts, Pints,
Half-pints. Made exclusively from live
West Indian Turtle, imported by them-
selves every fortnight, by Royal West
Indian Mail Steamers.—C.& A. Painter,
Ship and Turtle Tavern.
Why, these turtles must be as
green as the fat. But they ought
to be encouraged in their self-sacri-
ficing and disinterested enterprise.
Yours,
Launcelot Gobble. (Of
Gobble and Choke.
Portsoken Ward, JS.C.)
The Royal Academy can't give
us such specimens as these Painters
can, eh?
A Case for Clemency.
There was little need for the
memorial designed by Irish and
some other Members of the House of
Commons for presentation to Sir W.
Harcourt, requesting him to use his
influence to have Davitt, whilst in
prison, treated as a first-class mis-
demeanant. Sufficient for law and
order is the imprisonment which
keeps Davitt out of mischief. A
considerate Government must wish
not to be too hard upon a one-armed
man, seeing that their next Irish
Bill is to put down carrying any
arms at all.
A Good Spirit.—"L.L." Whiskey
—Irish Whiskey. _ KB.—" L. L.*
stands for Lord-Lieutenant, not for
Land League !
AFTER THE SCARE.
{Auctioneering'Intelligence in advance.—April 1.)
The series of efficient precautionary measures taken by the
authorities, in the earlier part of the session, having, as might have
been expected, rendered the execution of any single one of the many
daring schemes of outrage, then in contemplation, not only difficult,
but impossible, a very large stock of "explosives" has been
gradually accumulating in the market. Whether, however, it be
due to the fact that buyers seem shy at anything like remunerative
prices, or there happens to be, just now, a glut of this class of goods,
the demand for them has been far from brisk. Recourse, therefore,
has been had to the hammer ; and yesterday, the crowded condition
of Messrs Ruttick & Stimpson's rooms, where the lots of a very
interesting catalogue were taken in succession, testified to the wisdom
of the experiment.
After several tons of hand-grenades, six-chambered revolvers,
spring knives, loose powder, and other purely defensive material,
had (owing to extensive commissions to purchase, from inhabitants of
the Cromwell Road), been disposed of with some remarkably lively
bidding, a few of the more important lots were put on to the table.
Among these perhaps the most noticeable was (91). " Two
dozen self-motor mechanical infernal machines : each warranted,
singly, to blow up a public building twice as large as St. Paul's,
neatly and efficiently, with or without warning.''''
Several of these ingenious and excellent articles, all bearing the
name of a highly respectable American firm, were handed about for
inspection, and a lively contest ensued ; a nobleman well-known in
society for his hearty devotion to practical joking, materially raising"
the figure. The lot, however, was eventually knocked down to the
President of a South American Republic, amid a round of applause,
for £4 16s.
The following leading lots were then put up, in their turn, and
disposed of severaUy as under :—
119. Self-propelling Land Torpedo ; warranted, when set, to
burrow straight through any thickness of stone wall, and explode as
per indicator. Purchased by the Channel Tunnel Co. (£1 2s. 6d.)
135. Steel Revolver-proof Shirt. Leggings and Bach-board to
match. The" Anti-Assassin's Suit," as advertised. Captain Gos-
sett. (£15 15s.)
174. Tin Canister, drilled top ; whipcord, cog-wheels, and charge
of powder complete. A most serviceable machine. This fell to
Mr. Labouchere (purchased by him for presentation to the Fleet
Street Clearance Committee), and went, after a spirited contest,
amidst several rounds of applause, for 13s. 4rf.
207. A Bag of damaged Dynamite, a timefuse (directions lost),
and a box of explosive balls, beautifully packed and ready for me (an
excellent Christmas present for a Literary and Scientific Institution).
The Greek Government. (£9 9s.)
265. Thirty-six Conspirators* Cloaks, slouched hats, daggers,
dark-lanterns, forms of oath, and gun-cotton pockethandker chiefs.
All in excellent condition. Mr. J. L. Toole. (£1 16s.)
311. A Letter in Cypher (without the key). The Editor of Notes
and Queries. (Is.)
347. A Subterranean Plan of the Souse of Commons, showing
exact position of Cellar under Speaker's chair ; with wires, battery,
signal, secret passage, and explosive material, complete. A sensa-
tional lot. The Westminster Aquarium Co. (£100.)
Several other interesting articles further on in the list occasioned
eager competition; but the excitement culminated when the great
feature of the Catalogue (459), "A silent, three months, slow-
progressing Railway Terminus Shaker" (a first-class piece of Phila-
delphia work) was put up amidst tremendous cheering. _ The
Auctioneer, in calling attention to this "remarkable lot,'' pointed
out that it had been accidentally "set off" somewhere about the
first of January, and that it must therefore be, as he expressed it, in
fine condition for purchase" at the present moment. Notwithstanding
the anxiety of a gentleman representing the Turkish Government,
that the bidding should commence without any delay, this announce-
ment created a panic which it became impossible to control, and, by
general consent, the "Slow progressor" had just been taken to the
presiding Magistrate at Bow Street, in order that he might express
his opinion as to what had better be done with it, when our parcel
went to press.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 19, 1881.
AFTER THE PARTY.
Elderly Coquette. "And I'm sure you naughty Girls sat up ever so late, talking us over
how I should like to have hid myself behind a SCREEN and heard it all ! "
Horrid Boy. "No, You wouldn't ! "
THEjVOICE.OE.THE TURTLE.
Sir,—I send you a cutting from a
contemporary:—■
FTIURTLE SOUP.—Thick, Clear, In-
JL valid's Green Fat, in Quarts, Pints,
Half-pints. Made exclusively from live
West Indian Turtle, imported by them-
selves every fortnight, by Royal West
Indian Mail Steamers.—C.& A. Painter,
Ship and Turtle Tavern.
Why, these turtles must be as
green as the fat. But they ought
to be encouraged in their self-sacri-
ficing and disinterested enterprise.
Yours,
Launcelot Gobble. (Of
Gobble and Choke.
Portsoken Ward, JS.C.)
The Royal Academy can't give
us such specimens as these Painters
can, eh?
A Case for Clemency.
There was little need for the
memorial designed by Irish and
some other Members of the House of
Commons for presentation to Sir W.
Harcourt, requesting him to use his
influence to have Davitt, whilst in
prison, treated as a first-class mis-
demeanant. Sufficient for law and
order is the imprisonment which
keeps Davitt out of mischief. A
considerate Government must wish
not to be too hard upon a one-armed
man, seeing that their next Irish
Bill is to put down carrying any
arms at all.
A Good Spirit.—"L.L." Whiskey
—Irish Whiskey. _ KB.—" L. L.*
stands for Lord-Lieutenant, not for
Land League !
AFTER THE SCARE.
{Auctioneering'Intelligence in advance.—April 1.)
The series of efficient precautionary measures taken by the
authorities, in the earlier part of the session, having, as might have
been expected, rendered the execution of any single one of the many
daring schemes of outrage, then in contemplation, not only difficult,
but impossible, a very large stock of "explosives" has been
gradually accumulating in the market. Whether, however, it be
due to the fact that buyers seem shy at anything like remunerative
prices, or there happens to be, just now, a glut of this class of goods,
the demand for them has been far from brisk. Recourse, therefore,
has been had to the hammer ; and yesterday, the crowded condition
of Messrs Ruttick & Stimpson's rooms, where the lots of a very
interesting catalogue were taken in succession, testified to the wisdom
of the experiment.
After several tons of hand-grenades, six-chambered revolvers,
spring knives, loose powder, and other purely defensive material,
had (owing to extensive commissions to purchase, from inhabitants of
the Cromwell Road), been disposed of with some remarkably lively
bidding, a few of the more important lots were put on to the table.
Among these perhaps the most noticeable was (91). " Two
dozen self-motor mechanical infernal machines : each warranted,
singly, to blow up a public building twice as large as St. Paul's,
neatly and efficiently, with or without warning.''''
Several of these ingenious and excellent articles, all bearing the
name of a highly respectable American firm, were handed about for
inspection, and a lively contest ensued ; a nobleman well-known in
society for his hearty devotion to practical joking, materially raising"
the figure. The lot, however, was eventually knocked down to the
President of a South American Republic, amid a round of applause,
for £4 16s.
The following leading lots were then put up, in their turn, and
disposed of severaUy as under :—
119. Self-propelling Land Torpedo ; warranted, when set, to
burrow straight through any thickness of stone wall, and explode as
per indicator. Purchased by the Channel Tunnel Co. (£1 2s. 6d.)
135. Steel Revolver-proof Shirt. Leggings and Bach-board to
match. The" Anti-Assassin's Suit," as advertised. Captain Gos-
sett. (£15 15s.)
174. Tin Canister, drilled top ; whipcord, cog-wheels, and charge
of powder complete. A most serviceable machine. This fell to
Mr. Labouchere (purchased by him for presentation to the Fleet
Street Clearance Committee), and went, after a spirited contest,
amidst several rounds of applause, for 13s. 4rf.
207. A Bag of damaged Dynamite, a timefuse (directions lost),
and a box of explosive balls, beautifully packed and ready for me (an
excellent Christmas present for a Literary and Scientific Institution).
The Greek Government. (£9 9s.)
265. Thirty-six Conspirators* Cloaks, slouched hats, daggers,
dark-lanterns, forms of oath, and gun-cotton pockethandker chiefs.
All in excellent condition. Mr. J. L. Toole. (£1 16s.)
311. A Letter in Cypher (without the key). The Editor of Notes
and Queries. (Is.)
347. A Subterranean Plan of the Souse of Commons, showing
exact position of Cellar under Speaker's chair ; with wires, battery,
signal, secret passage, and explosive material, complete. A sensa-
tional lot. The Westminster Aquarium Co. (£100.)
Several other interesting articles further on in the list occasioned
eager competition; but the excitement culminated when the great
feature of the Catalogue (459), "A silent, three months, slow-
progressing Railway Terminus Shaker" (a first-class piece of Phila-
delphia work) was put up amidst tremendous cheering. _ The
Auctioneer, in calling attention to this "remarkable lot,'' pointed
out that it had been accidentally "set off" somewhere about the
first of January, and that it must therefore be, as he expressed it, in
fine condition for purchase" at the present moment. Notwithstanding
the anxiety of a gentleman representing the Turkish Government,
that the bidding should commence without any delay, this announce-
ment created a panic which it became impossible to control, and, by
general consent, the "Slow progressor" had just been taken to the
presiding Magistrate at Bow Street, in order that he might express
his opinion as to what had better be done with it, when our parcel
went to press.