Punch (80.1881)

Mat 21, 1881.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 229

mother, had been dragged into a police-
court, because you, or I, or anyone else had
preferred a game of cricket to school ?
That, your Worship will admit, would
have been a hard case, but the case of this
poor woman is infinitely harder. She is a
laundress, and out at her work all day
long. She sends the boy to school every
morning, and pays his school fees. I con-
fidently submit, therefore, that she has
done her duty and obeyed the law.

School-Board Officer. The boy attends
very irregularly, your Honour—stays away
sometimes whole days. 1 believe what the
gentleman says, that it is not his mother's
fault.

Solicitor. Then I ask your Worship upon
what principle of law or reason you can
punish one person for the offence of
another ? If A. commits a murder, can
you charge B. with the crime ?

Alderman. Well, it ain't a question of
A. or B., but of A B C. [Loud laughter in
Court, in ivliich the worthy Alderman
joins.) What does the lor say on this 'ere
point? [Addressing the Clerk.)

Clerk. The Act, your Worship, clearly
makes the parent responsible for the
child's attendance in all cases.

Solicitor. But the law could never mean
that this poor woman should remain all
day at school watching her boy while he is
being taught.

Alderman. You mean for to say that she
would starve while he's being a-crammed !
[Loud laughter in Court, in which the
worthy Alderman again joins.)

Solicitor. Ha ! ha ! Your Worship has
stated my argument much better than I
could myself. But to be serious—if this
poor woman is kept dancing attendance on
her boy all day, she must neglect her work
and starve.

Alderman. That is all very well, but
you see we don't make the lor, do we ?
[Addressing the Clerk, the latter shakes his
head.) If we did make the lor, I think we
could turn out better work than some
folks I know. [Some one in the crowd
laughs aloud.) Usher, turn that man out,
and I've a great mind to fine him for
contempt of Court ! Imperence ! [Ad-
dressing the Defendant, he continues.) Now
we've 'eard all that can be said for you,
but I'm bound to tell you that it amounts
to nothink. The lor must be obeyed. We
'ave no hoption in this 'ere matter. You
must pay a fine of ten shillings.

Clerk. Five shillings, your Worship, is
the maximum fine under the Act.

Alderman. Jane Jones, you must pay a
fine (si jive shillings.

Jane Jones. Your Worship, I haven't
five shillings in the world.

School-Board Officer. I must apply for
a distress-warrant in this case.

Alderman. Yery good. Now then, look
sharp ! Call on the next case.

FRUSTRATED SOCIAL AMBITION.

Collapse of Postlethwaite, Maudle, and Mrs. Cimabue Brown, on reading in a

widely-circulated contemporary journal that they only exist in Mr. punch's

vivid Imagination. They had fondly flattered themselves that Universal Fame
was theirs at last.

SCHOOL-BOARD PAPERS.—No. 4.

In the City—before Alderman Buncombe.

Present—Clerk, Usher, Police School-Board Officer, Solicitors, §c. A Woman is Standing

at the Bar.

Alderman Buncombe. Who is this Woman ?

School-Board Officer. Her name, your Worship, is Jane Jones, and she has been
summoned for not sending her son John Jones, aged ten years, to school in terms of the
Act of Parliament.

Alderman. And if not, why not P The Hact is a hexcellent one, and 'eaps of money have
been spent on it. I've always gone in for eddication, and so long as I 'old this hoffice I '11
see that the Hact is obeyed.

A Solicitor rises in Court and addresses the Magistrate.

Solicitor, Please your Worship, I have been requested by a lady client of mine to appear
on behalf of this poor woman. But permit me, with all respect, to say that I agree entirely
with the opinion your Worship has so eloquently expressed as to the advantages of
education, and of which your Worship is so excellent an example [here the worthy Alderman
draws himself up with much dignity); and I may say at once, without circumlocution--

Alderman. Ain't that rather a long word ?

Solicitor. I admit it, and apologise accordingly, as I well know the value of your
Worship's time. I may further say at once that Jane Jones admits her boy has of late
been somewhat irregular in his attendance at school.

Alderman. She pleads guilty, don't she ?

Solicitor. Far from it, your Worship, she has, I submit, a good answer to the summons.
The fact is, her boy, being enticed by other boys—and boys, your Worship, will be boys—
occasionally plays truant.

Alderman [chuckling). Lor ! I've done so many a time myself !

Solicitor. And so have I, and so have all of us in our time. And would it not have been

A Forcible Seply.

The Great Conservative Deadlock Party
say the country is being ruined by what
they are pleased to call the " Bevolu-
tionary Party." The country replies in
the most unmistakeable manner by send-
ing up Consols to 102^—the highest figure
reached during the present century. Con-
sols are peculiar, almost to the verge of
rudeness. When Lord Palmerston died,
they went down two-and-sixpence ; and

_____ ....... - ...... ... ... .... . . ,...... when Lord Beaconseield died, even th s

intolerable, your Worship, if your respected mother, or my mother, or anybody else's slender compliment was denied to him.

vol, lxxx,