Punch (80.1881)

June 18, 1881.] PUNCH. OK, THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 277

SUPERFLUOUS!

"And so you learn Dancing, Bob! And how do you like

Valsing ?"

"Oh, it's not bad ! I can manage very well by myself;

but I think a GlRL 'S bather in the way ! "

ASCOT IN THE CAMERA.

[By Our Scientific Reporter.)

Acceding to the request of thousands that I would try the effect
of my ISTitro-Galvanic Telescrophone instantaneous portrait-taker at
Ascot, I took my stand on the Race-Course.

The reader must know then, that the Nitro-Galvanic Telescrophone
(as, indeed, its name would denote) is a machine for producing
historical scenes in their true colours—material and mental. By a
simple contrivance I have avoided that air of repose which spoils so
many sun-pictures, and substituted for it a kind of artistic vivacity
which must be seen to be appreciated. The frame of my machine
is constructed exclusively of ivory, steel, ebonite, pewter, walnut
wood, glass, papier mache, iron, buffalo hide, and bamboo canes.
With these simple materials I have made a kind of casket, which
resembles something between a beer-barrel and a balloon. It has
all the strength of the former, with many of the characteristics of
the latter. It can be easily transferred from place to place, being
extremely portable. All that it requires in ordinary circumstances
is a few waggons and a couple of traction-engines. Of course com-
mon prudence would dictate the choice of a fine day for one of these
journeys, as the mixture of gun-cotton and paraffin (used in the
preparation of the sensitive plates) is apt to get a little out of order
when exposed to untoward atmospheric influences, However, with
proper care the Nitro-Galvanic Telescrophone is as easily managed
as anything else requiring a trifle more than ordinary attention—say
a rogue elephant, a wounded tiger, or a damaged fish-torpedo. It is
worked by electricity and portable hydraulic pumps.

Arrived at Ascot, I selected the turf in front of the Judge's chair,
as the scene for my instantaneous picture, as it occurred to me that
the portrait of the winner of the chief race would be more interesting
than any other memorial. I therefore rejected the causerie on the
lawn, the Royal Procession up the Course, the group of drags at the
luncheon-hour in favour of the incident I have above specified.

The salient features of Ascot are so well known that it is unneces-

sary to refer to them. Charming toilettes, lovely faces, well-ap-
pointed turn-outs were to be seen as much this year as on any of its
predecessors.

The crowd assembled ; some of the smaller events were settled ;
lunch was commenced,—and then came the race of the day. It
was an anxious moment for me. I had arranged the apparatus
with the assistance of the police to keep off the crowd, but my sensi-
tive plates were rather behind-hand. Although prepared on very
simple principles, they have to undergo several processes, and in
their manufacture there had been several mishaps. For instance,
one had been broken by a steam Nasmyth hammer, acting with
rather too much force. Another had suffered from inferior bronze
being used in one of the castings, and a third had been ground to
dust in the Marble Polishing Department. In spite of these and
many other little accidents, I was able to secure one plate which was
in tolerably good order.

The supreme moment arrived. Built up on its portable iron and
granite pedestal, the Nitro-Galvanic Telescrophone was certainly a
striking object. I stood just under the principal lens, with the
chain in my hand, ready to pull the lever. All was ready. I saw
a flag fall in the distance. On came the horses galloping at full
speed. I could hear the cheers of the spectators. There was a
shout. The winner was passing me ! I pulled the chain!
. There was a loud explosion, a flash of light, and I and the Nitro-
Galvanic Telescrophone went up into the air together !

**#»**

After some little trouble I have found the result, which I forward

to you. It is not quite what I intended, but there are all the.mate-
ria'ls in it for a good picture.

On second thoughts, I select
some'of these materials, and com-
pile what evidently must be a por-
trait of the winner. Here it is. I
should have sent it to you before,
if I had come down earlier.

I am now staying a few days
with the Great Panjandrum, who
is not allowed to bet in his own
country, which, strangely enough,
is called Thibet. He is over here *^ ^Sssas^g^

in disguise, and we have rooms to- The Winner.

gether at the Grand Hotel, Hanwell. {By new Instantaneous Process.)

Illustration of an Expression.—" Reading between the Lines.'''1
—This must be Reading (Berks), which is between the Great
Western and South-Western Lines.

TOju lx5jc,