DOI Heft:
May 7, 1881
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17750#0212
Mat 7, 1881.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
205
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT,
extracted prom
THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
Monday Night— House met again to-day after the Easter holi-
days. Great excitement outside, funereal dulness within. _ The gloom
of the darkened rooms at Hughenden pervades this gaslit chamber.
House of Commons cannot readily forget the man who has been an
intimate part of its daily life as far back as memory goes. The old
business goes on in the old way. There are the old faces about, and
the old forms in operation. But the gloom and the sadness are evi-
dent. They will pass away to-morrow, and by Thursday the dead
hand will no longer rest upon the House, numbing the pulsation of its
life. To-night the feeling is unmistakable, and must find record here.
Pretty bit of comedy by-and-by designed to divert the mind from
mournful thoughts. Gibson opened Debate on
Second Reading of Irish Land Bill in a speech
that would have been twice as good if half as
polished. House likes good things, but prefers to
have them at least look as if manufactured on the
premises. Gibson declaims many impromptus,
but should bring them down written out on some-
thing less palpable than brief paper. Mr. Rich-
ardson followed, but nobody ready to succeed.
Everybody waiting for somebody else. Speaker
rose to put the Motion. The Attorney-General
for Ireland still regarded passing events with
that total absence of facial movement which Mr.
Gorst subsequently described as "listening with
a wooden face." Debate about to collapse.
General consternation.
Sir Richard Cross conveyed agitated signals
to Mr. Warton to do something. Mr. Warton
" Listening with a thought Sir Richard wanted the loan of his snuff -
wooden face." hox. Handed it over. Renewed excitement on the
front Opposition bench. Three ex-Cabinet Minis-
ters violently nodding their heads at the same time at the Member for
Bridport. At last picked up right clue, and proposed the adjournment
of the debate. Someone must speak to carry on debate till ten ; but
who? Somebody said "Villlers Stuart." Everybody said Yilliers
Stuart. Sir Stafford Northcote protested that the one unfulfilled
aspiration of his life was to hear Yilliers Stuart. Mr. Forster
trembled all over his shoulders and down his legs with the energy
of his protestation that Yilliers Stuart was the only man to throw
light on the subject. V. S., blushing under this unwonted interest
in his opinion, at length induced to commence speech. Whereupon
everybody rushed off to dinner, leaving him literally an audience of
a single Member. But the debate was saved.
Business done.—Second Reading of Irish Land Bill moved.
Tuesday Night.—Some talk in town, I hear, of a minuet through
which the legs of Mr.
Henry Irving gracefully
flash, but will under-
take to say our minuet
to-night beats anything
on any other Stage. Mr.
Bradlaugh runs a little
more to flesh than the
great tragedian. But his
vigour and superior phy-
sical strength carry him
through.
It was an elaborately-
constructed performance,
though simple in general
effect. First, Mr. Brad-
laugh enters, and exe-
cutes a was seul before the
Mace. Immediately he is
joined by the Sergeant-
at-Arms, and the two
polka down the centre
till they reach the Bar. « Old DaddvLonglegs wouldn't say his prayers,
Then Bradlaugh, break- Take him, Black Beadle, and chuck him down-
ing away from his part- stairs."
ner, rushes down the stage
and strikes an attitude before the foot-lights. His partner, Captain
one of the other members of the ballet clinging to either hand,
whilst three others securely hold him by the coat-collar. Then he,
affecting to struggle desperately, retires two paces, draws right foot
up so that the heel rests on the instep of the left, and throwing his
head back towards his left shoulder, mutely but eloquently demands
of 'igh 'eaven what would they ? What they would is evidently a
further dance, and the whole corps, still entwined as described above,
advance a few paces, retire again, revolve rapidly, and finally Mr.
Bradlaugh and the Sergeant-at-Arms are left standing at the Bar
panting for breath, but bowing gracefully in response to the thun-
derous applause which greets the performance.
Business done.—First night of the Bradlaugh Minuet.
Wednesday.—Here is Mr. Bradlaugh standing at the Table again,
and subsequently pirouetting back to the Bar in company with the
Sergeant-at-Arms. Reminds me of a distant relative of mine, one
Snarkyoiv, whose history Captain Marryatt put into a novel. S.
was killed on various occasions, shot, hanged, drowned, and buried
under three feet of earth. Always turned up a day or two after,
wagging his tail as if nothing particular had happened.
Thought we had finished with Mr. Bradlaugh last night. But
here he is again, and, I suppose, presently we shall have the corps de
ballet and the minuet once more.
In the meantime, Peter Rylands is on his feet, alternately
stretching out his hand to indicate Mr. Bradlaugh standing at
the Bar, and shaking heavy forefingers in minatory manner towards
the placid Leader of the Opposition. If Mr. Bradlaugh were a
wax figure, or a three-headed man just imported, and if Peter
were his proprietor, the attitude of the two could scarcely be varied
—Mr. Bradlaugh standing passive in full view at the Bar, and
Peter at the corner seat below the gangway, with hand out-
stretched, indica- ______
''^ here " ^
is this boy. Here Lord Elcho and the Ghosts.
is this boy which " Shades of evening gather round "-
you brought up by
hand. Hold up your head, Boy, and be for ever grateful unto them
which so did do. Now, Mum, with respections to this boy.' "
Business done.—My. Bradlaugh further considered.
Thursday.—Mr. Gladstone begins to wish he had not so greatly
stirred Colonel Tottenham to come back for the Second Reading of
the Irish Land Bill. The Colonel has brought a speech with him,
which he began early in the evening, and is now (1115 p.m.) probably
half-way through. In point of length, Tottenham Court Road is
nothing to it, even with Hampstead Road added on. The Colonel is
also making jokes. No one suspected him of this, and it was quite
some time before anybody laughed. Mr. Warton discovered the
intention first, then Sir John Hay, then the deep thunder of
Alderman Fowler's laugh caused disturbing vibration among the
ventilating apparatus beneath the Chamber. Next Mr. Gorst's
countenance was observed to be curiously distorted, and in the end
the jokes proved quite a success—at least, I suppose there 10ill be an
end. Will look in to-morrow and see.
Business done— Colonel Tottenham debated the Second Reading
of the Irish Land Bill.
Friday Night— Colonel Tottenham finished, and Pease and peace
descended on the House. Curious to note how far-reaching is the
effect of opium. None on the premises that anyone knows of. Lyon
Playfair, when he lectures on oleo-margarine and other pleasing
compounds, may have little pots of samples all over the table for
illustration of his lecture. No such privilege accorded to Mr. Pease
. when he brings on his Resolution denouncing the Opium Traffic.
Gosset, trips gracefully after him ; the two embrace, then retire a j Nevertheless, when he begins to talk, Members placidly fold their
few paces, joined by live other members of the ballet, when the hands, stretch out their legs, close their eyes, their heads fall upon
minuet commences. First, with slow swinging motion, the new- their breasts, and before Mr. Pease has been speaking for three-
comers hang on to Mr. Bradlaugh, disclosing glimpses of white j quarters-of-an-hour, there is not a man awake except Lord Hart-
under-clothing as they playfully threaten to tear his coat off his 1 ington, sole occupant of the Treasury Bench, who has to reply with
back. Then Mr. Bradlaugh strikes an attitude after the manner Ministerial responsibility.
of an ancient Roman. Mr. Bradlaugh advances a few paces with | Business done.—Budget Bill read a Second Time.
vol. lxxx.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
205
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT,
extracted prom
THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
Monday Night— House met again to-day after the Easter holi-
days. Great excitement outside, funereal dulness within. _ The gloom
of the darkened rooms at Hughenden pervades this gaslit chamber.
House of Commons cannot readily forget the man who has been an
intimate part of its daily life as far back as memory goes. The old
business goes on in the old way. There are the old faces about, and
the old forms in operation. But the gloom and the sadness are evi-
dent. They will pass away to-morrow, and by Thursday the dead
hand will no longer rest upon the House, numbing the pulsation of its
life. To-night the feeling is unmistakable, and must find record here.
Pretty bit of comedy by-and-by designed to divert the mind from
mournful thoughts. Gibson opened Debate on
Second Reading of Irish Land Bill in a speech
that would have been twice as good if half as
polished. House likes good things, but prefers to
have them at least look as if manufactured on the
premises. Gibson declaims many impromptus,
but should bring them down written out on some-
thing less palpable than brief paper. Mr. Rich-
ardson followed, but nobody ready to succeed.
Everybody waiting for somebody else. Speaker
rose to put the Motion. The Attorney-General
for Ireland still regarded passing events with
that total absence of facial movement which Mr.
Gorst subsequently described as "listening with
a wooden face." Debate about to collapse.
General consternation.
Sir Richard Cross conveyed agitated signals
to Mr. Warton to do something. Mr. Warton
" Listening with a thought Sir Richard wanted the loan of his snuff -
wooden face." hox. Handed it over. Renewed excitement on the
front Opposition bench. Three ex-Cabinet Minis-
ters violently nodding their heads at the same time at the Member for
Bridport. At last picked up right clue, and proposed the adjournment
of the debate. Someone must speak to carry on debate till ten ; but
who? Somebody said "Villlers Stuart." Everybody said Yilliers
Stuart. Sir Stafford Northcote protested that the one unfulfilled
aspiration of his life was to hear Yilliers Stuart. Mr. Forster
trembled all over his shoulders and down his legs with the energy
of his protestation that Yilliers Stuart was the only man to throw
light on the subject. V. S., blushing under this unwonted interest
in his opinion, at length induced to commence speech. Whereupon
everybody rushed off to dinner, leaving him literally an audience of
a single Member. But the debate was saved.
Business done.—Second Reading of Irish Land Bill moved.
Tuesday Night.—Some talk in town, I hear, of a minuet through
which the legs of Mr.
Henry Irving gracefully
flash, but will under-
take to say our minuet
to-night beats anything
on any other Stage. Mr.
Bradlaugh runs a little
more to flesh than the
great tragedian. But his
vigour and superior phy-
sical strength carry him
through.
It was an elaborately-
constructed performance,
though simple in general
effect. First, Mr. Brad-
laugh enters, and exe-
cutes a was seul before the
Mace. Immediately he is
joined by the Sergeant-
at-Arms, and the two
polka down the centre
till they reach the Bar. « Old DaddvLonglegs wouldn't say his prayers,
Then Bradlaugh, break- Take him, Black Beadle, and chuck him down-
ing away from his part- stairs."
ner, rushes down the stage
and strikes an attitude before the foot-lights. His partner, Captain
one of the other members of the ballet clinging to either hand,
whilst three others securely hold him by the coat-collar. Then he,
affecting to struggle desperately, retires two paces, draws right foot
up so that the heel rests on the instep of the left, and throwing his
head back towards his left shoulder, mutely but eloquently demands
of 'igh 'eaven what would they ? What they would is evidently a
further dance, and the whole corps, still entwined as described above,
advance a few paces, retire again, revolve rapidly, and finally Mr.
Bradlaugh and the Sergeant-at-Arms are left standing at the Bar
panting for breath, but bowing gracefully in response to the thun-
derous applause which greets the performance.
Business done.—First night of the Bradlaugh Minuet.
Wednesday.—Here is Mr. Bradlaugh standing at the Table again,
and subsequently pirouetting back to the Bar in company with the
Sergeant-at-Arms. Reminds me of a distant relative of mine, one
Snarkyoiv, whose history Captain Marryatt put into a novel. S.
was killed on various occasions, shot, hanged, drowned, and buried
under three feet of earth. Always turned up a day or two after,
wagging his tail as if nothing particular had happened.
Thought we had finished with Mr. Bradlaugh last night. But
here he is again, and, I suppose, presently we shall have the corps de
ballet and the minuet once more.
In the meantime, Peter Rylands is on his feet, alternately
stretching out his hand to indicate Mr. Bradlaugh standing at
the Bar, and shaking heavy forefingers in minatory manner towards
the placid Leader of the Opposition. If Mr. Bradlaugh were a
wax figure, or a three-headed man just imported, and if Peter
were his proprietor, the attitude of the two could scarcely be varied
—Mr. Bradlaugh standing passive in full view at the Bar, and
Peter at the corner seat below the gangway, with hand out-
stretched, indica- ______
''^ here " ^
is this boy. Here Lord Elcho and the Ghosts.
is this boy which " Shades of evening gather round "-
you brought up by
hand. Hold up your head, Boy, and be for ever grateful unto them
which so did do. Now, Mum, with respections to this boy.' "
Business done.—My. Bradlaugh further considered.
Thursday.—Mr. Gladstone begins to wish he had not so greatly
stirred Colonel Tottenham to come back for the Second Reading of
the Irish Land Bill. The Colonel has brought a speech with him,
which he began early in the evening, and is now (1115 p.m.) probably
half-way through. In point of length, Tottenham Court Road is
nothing to it, even with Hampstead Road added on. The Colonel is
also making jokes. No one suspected him of this, and it was quite
some time before anybody laughed. Mr. Warton discovered the
intention first, then Sir John Hay, then the deep thunder of
Alderman Fowler's laugh caused disturbing vibration among the
ventilating apparatus beneath the Chamber. Next Mr. Gorst's
countenance was observed to be curiously distorted, and in the end
the jokes proved quite a success—at least, I suppose there 10ill be an
end. Will look in to-morrow and see.
Business done— Colonel Tottenham debated the Second Reading
of the Irish Land Bill.
Friday Night— Colonel Tottenham finished, and Pease and peace
descended on the House. Curious to note how far-reaching is the
effect of opium. None on the premises that anyone knows of. Lyon
Playfair, when he lectures on oleo-margarine and other pleasing
compounds, may have little pots of samples all over the table for
illustration of his lecture. No such privilege accorded to Mr. Pease
. when he brings on his Resolution denouncing the Opium Traffic.
Gosset, trips gracefully after him ; the two embrace, then retire a j Nevertheless, when he begins to talk, Members placidly fold their
few paces, joined by live other members of the ballet, when the hands, stretch out their legs, close their eyes, their heads fall upon
minuet commences. First, with slow swinging motion, the new- their breasts, and before Mr. Pease has been speaking for three-
comers hang on to Mr. Bradlaugh, disclosing glimpses of white j quarters-of-an-hour, there is not a man awake except Lord Hart-
under-clothing as they playfully threaten to tear his coat off his 1 ington, sole occupant of the Treasury Bench, who has to reply with
back. Then Mr. Bradlaugh strikes an attitude after the manner Ministerial responsibility.
of an ancient Roman. Mr. Bradlaugh advances a few paces with | Business done.—Budget Bill read a Second Time.
vol. lxxx.