Punch (80.1881)

April 2, 1881.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 145

A DRAWING-ROOM DRAWN BY A LIVELY DEBUTANTE.

7 a.m.—Woke at five. Called by Elise
two hours later.

9 a.m.—Breakfast. Mamma nervous
about asthma and draughts in Palace.

10 a.m.—Hair-dressing-commenced by
Elise. An arrangement in feathers.

______ —. ....... - 11 a.m.—Still dressing. Arrival of

...... ._ train. Late train. Last hint about

carrying it.

Nooisr.—Imposing procession to draw-
ing-room.

12'15 p.m.—Arrival of cousin Charles
(who is to accompany us) in gorgeous
yeomanry uniform; splendidly miser-
able. Sword, telling, but inconvenient;
spurs aggressively objectionable.

12-30 p.m.—Visit of Mamma's inti-
mate female friends to see '' how we
looked." Verdict satisfactory. Charley
apologetic for spurs—and sword.

12'45 p.m. — Carriage announced.
Descent of ladies and train - bearer.
Notice Charley's waddle occasioned
by having to go down-stairs in a pair
of spurs. Packing of carriage a matter
of difficidty and danger. Obvious ques-
tion, "Where shall we find room for
another ?"

1 p.m.—Arrival at Club. Introduction
-__of Papa in Deputy Lieutenant's uniform.

Charley's spurs and Papa's sword both
voted unnecessary nuisances.

1*15 p.m.—Stoppage in the Mall. In-
spection of party by mob. Free criticism
forcibly expressed.

1"30 p.m. — Blinds drawn down by
Charley on one side—sudden appear-
ance of mob on the other. Blinds on
both sides drawn down. Howls. Feel (to
myself) like Marle Antoinette among
the revolutionists. Personal altercation
between coachman and populace.

1'45 p.m.—Happy thought! " Lunch."
Basket. Pleasant pic-nic. Charley
amiable, Papa beaming, Mamma conver-
sational. Forget Marie Antoinette.

2 p.m.—Grand move of about four
inches. Excitement. Blinds up. Dead
stop ; mob more critical than ever.

2'15 p.m.—Several jerks of four inches,
accompanied by dead stops. Carriage
lx3frSV£bT4&&i r fairly on its way at the rate of a State

funeral procession. Punning commen-
tary of jocular spectators as we pass.
Again feel like Marie Antoinette, only
less so. Occasional bursts of derision
at Papa's spectacles and plumed cocked-
hat. They do not go well together.

FT

2"30 p.m.—Sudden sharp arrival at
Palace. Hurried reception by Somebody
—a Marshal I fancy Charley tells me,
or a Marshalman. Note.—When I hear
of Marshal, I can't help thinking of
Snelgrove.

2'45 p.m. — Resignation of cloaks.
Presentation of cards on entrance.
Rapid ascent of staircase. Excited ar-
rival in first room, and dead stop for an
indefinite period.

3 p.m.—General move. Awful crush.
Calm imperturbability of Gentlemen-
at-Arms. Polite fight for empty chairs
on arrival in each new room.

3'15 p.m.—More moves, dead-locks,
and crushes. Gradual progress through
State Apartments. Very cold near the
doors, very hot near the fire-places.
Sounds of military bands occasionally
heard in the distance. Recognition of
friends. In pauses of conversation, ample
time for the examination of historical
portraits, the gorgeous sofas, and the
pretty landscape-gardening seen through
the windows.

3'30 p.m.—Fearful excitement! Sud-
den disappearance of Papa and Charley.
Have they got into difficulties with their
spurs and swords ? Thought they would.
Single file formed by Dowagers and
debutantes.

3'33 p.m.—Cards passed from hand to
hand. Trains extended by officials in
Court-dress. Invitation to proceed.

3'35 p.m.—A card read. A low courtesy.
A smile from Her Gracious Goodness.

3'36 p.m.—General view of other Illus-
trious Personages. Vague reminiscence
of the dazzling group at Madame Tus-
satjd's. Pass on, and please not to touch
the figures. All over !

3'40 p.m.—Feeling of gratified but in-
tense relief. Mamma delighted. Char-
ley and Papa also satisfied. It appears
I managed my train splendidly. I tell
them they managed their swords and
spurs beautifully.

3'45 p.m.—Chat with friends before
departure. Everyone in good spirits.

4 p.m.—Coming down. Arrival of
carriage. Re-paoked hurriedly; car-
riage-paid.

5 p.m.—Return. Day-dreams of the
coming Season. Suggestive fantasia on
the pianoforte, " Home, siveet Home ! "
—with variations; lively ones, and plenty
of 'em.

vol. lxxx.