Punch (80.1881)

88

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[February 26, 1881.

shrieking in the crowd. Someone had, it seemed, understood his own
language at last, and the cab went off. Mr. Bpggar had other places
to go to, and when the round was finished, the man wanted to charge
this thirty minutes spent at the outset.

Mr. Biggar declined to pay him. Finding that there was no hope
of the stupid man understanding his own language, Mr. Biggar

" M'sieu

lapsed into the Ulster tongue, and stated his views with his cus-
tomary succinctness. In the end he was hooted into his hotel. But
he had not paid the extra shilling.

" One franc twenty-five they call it in their language, you know,
M. Tobt," (he called, me M. Toby all through, though I was chris-
tened neither M. or ]\T.) ; "but I call a shillin' a shillin' ; for I
would nearly as well deal with a Saxon as a Franc."

This and many other pleasing incidents Mr. Biggar related to me,
filling me with a great desire to see this great city. The only ques-
tion on which he was dumb was as to his business in Paris, and his
interview with Mr. Parnell and other interesting persons of whom,
as Sir W. Harcourt says, " some of them live in Ireland and a
great many in America." When I touched on this subject Mr.
Biggar always lapsed into French, and though there seemed a
familiar ring about the language, I could not catch the meaning of
particular words.

'' 0 playzer," Mr. Biggar said, as he moved lightly away whistling,
" Quand les beaux pompiers
Yont a 1'exercise."

_ Tuesday Night.—Great sensation on the Opposition Benches to-
night, owing to the reappearance of Jack Holker, better known to
the public as Sir John" Holker, Attorney-General in the last
Administration. Jack has never taken very kindly to his seat in
the House, partly because when it was fixed on the Treasury Bench
there was so little of it. There is a great deal more space in these
times for leaders of the Conservative party ; but Jack has not been
able to overcome his old prejudices. Being back to-night he thought
he would have a little flutter, and succeeded.

I enter this in my diary, under
the date Tuesday night, for the
convenience of the officials of the
State Paper Office, in whose
hands the manuscript will, I sup-
pose, eventually fall. It was
actually at one o'clock to-morrow
morning that J. looking in on his
way home from a consultation,
thought he would stir up the
Committee. Perhaps the idea did
not occur to him till after he had
been asleep on the Front Bench
for a quarter of an hour. He
dropped off, after voting with the
Government against a proposal
made by Mr. "Stanspeld that Mr.
Parnell, or anyone else arrested
under the Act, should have full
Mb. Forster (to himself)—-' particulars of the time, place, and
When Lovely Woman stoops to character of his crime set forth

Tueason on his warrant.

Ofp she goes at once toPreeson. This disposed of, by a majo-
n rity which J. visibly swelled, Mr.

U Donnell rose and moved an Amendment, which, to ordinary
sense, seemed uncommonly like that just decided upon. How-
ever it be J. suddenly awaking, and. seeing before him the present
Attorney-General, Forster, Bright, and several other of his
natural enemies, with a sudden impulse, bent his great head, and
ran amuck at the Treasury Bench. Amid vociferous cheering from
the Irish patriots, J. declared for the new Amendment, and with

quivering voice protested his unalterable affection for the British
Constitution. Then he sat down, feeling he had rather done it.

And so he had. Henry James, not always an effective Parlia-
mentary _ speaker, saw his opportunity, and used it unmercifully.
J., he pointed out, had voted against Stanspeld's Amendment, and
now declared for O'Donnell's. What did he mean, or what did he
want ? It began to dawn upon J. that there was a mistake some-
where, and as Irish Members, pleased at the prospect of capturing a
Conservative ex-Attorney-General, insisted upon a division, the only
thing for him to do was to clear out; which he did with great
alacrity, leaving the British Constitution to take care of itself,
i This would have been very well if he had now gone home,
or, if it was too early, if he had attended another consultation.
But with that curious fate that sometimes draws men on, he was
lured back to the House, and another Amendment, again like the
first, being proposed, J. madly dashed in again, waving the Royal
Standard, and declaring his determination to spend the last drop of
his blood on behalf of the Constitution, which had borne the battle
and the breeze on the rocky plains of Greenland's icy mountains and
amid the swart desert of the tropic zone. More cheering from the
Irish Members, and then re-enter this troublesome James with
polite inquiry as to what his hon. and learned friend was going to do
in respect of this Amendment freshly advocated ? Was he going to
vote tor it, or was he again going to run away when the division-
bell rang ? Happily, J. was saved further trouble by the Amendment
being withdrawn. But he had had a high old time, and felt that
Preston would be proud of him.

Business done.—Very little.

Wednesday.—The papers publish to-day a statement that " The
Boers have been helped both with money and men by the Fenians."
Asked Dilke was it true. He says
not. Thinks rumour arose from the
simple fact that just now the conflict
is gathering round Biggarsberg, a
branch of the Drakenberg range,
not far from Newcastle.

Business done.—Nothing to speak
of.

Thursday Night.—I never saw a /
crab walk, though a blood relation \-..
of mine once did. In fact, the crab
walked with him, having his claw
attached to the fore paw with which
my uncle had attempted to turn over
what was to him at that time quite
a new thing he had discovered under
the counter at the fishmonger's.
Apart from this exceptional occa-
sion, I understand that the crab
walks backward ; in which case, its
mode of progress is curiously akin
to that of the Protection Bill in
Committee. When we started with Mr. Labouchere, treating an
the business, the Amendment paper 'open question,'asks ip the
was tolerably full, but there were Letter op the Law is to be
seven pages fewer than to-night, applied to the Law op the
now we have been seven days Letter.
engaged upon the Bill.

To-night it seemed for half-an-hour as if deliverance were at
hand. For a week past, with clamour hourly growing as the evil
increased, the Speaker has been besought to come forward and
deliver the House, and Mr. Gladstone has been abused for the lack
of firmness which has rendered possible a continuance of this weari-
some scandal. Neither has been in any hurry to commit himself,
perhaps forecasting what would happen. At length they are moved
to action, and amid loud cheers the Speaker announced a particular
course which would meet Obstruction by the only authority it ac-
knowledges. To hear men shout with joy at the prospect of this
deliverance, I thought it was all over; and when Mr. Gladstone
moved his Resolution, I rather expected to see him lifted shoulder
high, and carried in procession round the lobbies. The Irish Mem-
bers thought so too, and regarding this as their last opportunity,
they determined to make the most of it. But presently it began to
be whispered that matters were going wrong. There was a flaw in
the Rules, which made them an attack on the rights of minorities.
In short, they would not do ; so the gallant Duke of York having
marched his men to the top of the hill at five o'clock in the_ after-
noon, at two o'clock in the morning marched them down again, and
Obstruction, after shaking in its shoes, flung up its cap.

Business done—Nine hours more in Committee on the Protection
Bill. Taking it up on last word of first Clause, left it on the first
Clause at the last word.

Friday Night.—Another nine hours on the Protection Bill. End
not far off now. Mr. Parnell back. Pleasantly remarks that Mr.
Forster reminds him of General Haynah.