Punch (80.1881)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [March 5, 1881.

HARE AND HOUNDS-AND MAY THEIR SHADOWS NEVER GROW LESS.

Mrs. Miniver. "How exhausted they look, poor Fellows ! Fancy doing that sort of thing for mere pleasure !"
Little Timpkins (his bosom swelling with national pride). "Ah, but it's all through doing that sort of thing for mere

pleasure, mind you, that ave english are—what we are!" [Bully for little TimpkillS I

THE SULTAN'S DIAKY.

Monday.—Mr. Goschen called upon me. He was rather reserved,
but declared " that England had no arriere pensee." Then he asked
me if I could suggest anything. On the spur of the moment I hinted
that a pension of half-a-million sterling a year out of the British
Civil List and the reversion of the Crystal Palace, might serve asna
basis for further negotiations. He said he would consider it. Was
astonished to find that he had not a spare fifty-pound note about him
which he was able to lend for a month !

Tuesday.—Asked Goschen to lunch. He was still very reserved.
He said that he was sure that the House of Commons would ob-
ject to my suggestion about the British Civil List Pension and
the reversionary interest in the Crystal Palace. Still, he was most
anxious to make the " solution of the question satisfactory, as far
as possible, to both parties." Upon this I proposed that I should
surrender all my rights in Egypt (with the exception of those
attaching to the tribute) to the King of the Hellenes, on condition of
receiving, as an equivalent, the whole of Greece. Before we parted
I was amazed to learn that he had not a spare twenty-pound note
about him which he could lend for three weeks !

Wednesday.—Asked G. J. Goschen to dejeuner a lafourchette. He
came late, and said that he had already lunched! Unhandsome!
He was more reserved than ever, and seemed depressed. The
Egyptian suggestion emphatically would not do—had I anything else
to propose ? "With a smile I brought out a map, and pointed out the
frontier line on it, to which I said I would agree. On finding that I
had given him an old chart of South America with the title erased,
he was much annoyed. G. J. G. has no appreciation of genuine
humour! Before taking leave, he informed me abruptly that he
was quite sure he had not a spare ten-pound note about him which
he could lend for a fortnight!

Thursday.—George Goschen paid me a visit. I don't go to him,
as I object to paying anything—even a visit. I told him I was pre-
pared .to adopt the King of the Hellenes. He would, he said, see
what could be done. In the meanwhile, I was grieved to learn that
he had not a spare five-pound note about him which he could lend for
ten days!

Friday.—Georgie Goschen looked in. Told me that the adoption
idea was impossible. Asked him confidentially as a friend if he
could suggest anything. He proposed that the King of Greece
should have three-fourths of our united sovereignties. 1 immediately
consented, on the condition that I should be allowed nine-tenths of
the same territory. George appeared to think that there might be
some mathematical difficulty in carrying out this sensible arrange-
ment. Finally agreed to see him to-morrow. In the meanwhile,
was rather hurt at discovering that he had not a spare guinea
about him which he could lend for a week !

Saturday.—Tbe person I had grown accustomed to regard as " my
dear old friend George," looked in as usual. Admitted the solu-
tion of the mathematical problem had been too much for him. And
yet he calls himself a financier! At his invitation made further
suggestions. Here are three of them :—Things to be restored to the
condition in which they were before the Turko-Kussian War : the
Great Powers to pay the Turkish National Debt in consideration of
the recognition of the neutrality of Athens by the Sublime Porte :
a free gift to be made of the whole of Asiatic Turkey in exchange for
the property and goodwill of the Banking Combination at Monte Carlo.
He objected to everything ! He actually refused point blank to lend
me the ridiculous sum of seven-and-sixpence, to be repaid punctually
by half-past eleven o'clock on Monday morning! _ I have consequently
broken off all further communication with him in disgust!

More about trie Tartan.

The Daily Telegvaph, speaking of the dress of the 74th High-
landers, says that Lieutenant-Colonel Luard's "own preference
seems to have been for the trews over the philibeg." Heavens!
What an extraordinary dress ! The trews over the philibeg ! Well,
philibeggars mustn't be choosers, but it is to be hoped that by no
inducement from Colonel Luard will any Highlander be al-luard
into wearing so absurd a costume.

The Funny Man at a wedding-breakfast, looking at the jellies,
said—" Come where the aspics quiver"