Punch (81.1881)

October 1, 1881.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

145

TIME'S CHANGES.

Old Schoolfellow. " Dear me ! why, when you and I were at Eton, you
were a Curly-haired Boy with a Slim Figure ; and now your Hair's
Slim, and your Figure Curly ! "

AN AUTUMN VALENTINE.

Forests are fair when the suns of September

Wane, and the gloaming grows deeper in gloom;
Sunsets are red as the rosiest ember,

Seen when the lamps are alight in the room.
Yon too, carina, like leaves in October,

Change with the season to startle the town ;
Quakerlike colour, seductively sober,

Shows a blonde beauty looks bravest in brown.

Fitting it is too, at time like the present,

When in the covers the sharp sbots are heard,
That the adornments you filch from the pheasant,

Serve to remind me you 're fair as that bird.
What though my shooting my friends voted splendid,

Though Land and Water has echoed my fame,
You give one glance, and my short flight is ended,

You have an eye has a deadlier aim.

Sometimes the softest of possible serges
Drapes you, and seems the one thing you should
wear,

While from the neck of the bodice emerges

Daisy-like frills that are fatally fair.
I am not learned in seam and in gusset,

Dressmaking never was taught by the Cam,
Yet nothing rarer than that robe of russet

Ever was fashioned, quite certain I am.

Once at Lawn-Tennis the tints of the sunset

Found a red rival in frock that you wore ;
Haply I think you remember that one " set,"

In it I vowed to be jealous no more.
While on your head perched a cap so coquettish,

Even a hermit had danced at the sight;
Weren't you a wee bit exacting and pettish ?

No, no ] Of course you were utterly right.

Yet what avails this my list of your dresses,

Though 1 should chance to remember the rest;
Quite in a puzzle, your Poet confesses

He has no notion in which you look best.
No matter what freak of fashion you follow,

How frills and flounces and furbelows fall,
One thing is clear, you beat other girls hollow,

And as to dresses—look best in them all!

SIGNS OE THE SEASON.

The partridges are falling fast, and the leaves have just begun
To turn, and, as the pheasants fall, will soon fall, too, like fun.
The goose is eaten with apple-sauce ; and in case you fail to pay,
You may shoot the moon, but your quarter's rent is due on Michael-
mas Day.

The birds have bolted that bear the name of St. Patrick's doughty
Dean,

The flying pickaxes have flown ; not a Swift is to be seen.

The martens and the swallows all, that in council swarm at eve,

Ere they sink to sleep in the osier-beds, eftsoons are bound to leave.

There are symptoms of the season's change on the earth and in
the air,

And the citizens of London meet to choose the next Lord Mayor.
For the great Lord Mayor himself .goes out, as a fleeting annual
flower,

Oh, the transitory tenure of his Lordship's pomp and power !

But that's the Concrete Lord Mayor ; for the Abstract Lord Mayor
blows,

Perennial as an amaranth, or an everlasting rose,

In a metaphysical Mansion House where intrinsic turtle steams,

And we sniff the transcendental soup at our dinners in our dreams.

Yet sad it is to think how short the Concrete Lord Mayor's span,
But now a Lord, then yet again but a simple Alderman !
How falls he from his high estate, oh dear, in one brief day !
Heigho, the glory of the world so passeth all away !

At the Olympic.—An appropriate song for a Lady with such a
name as "Marion Hood " would have been " Never again with you,
Iiobin." It can be repaired when Lord Bateman comes out at the
Opera Comique, and Patience on a Monument goes to Mr. D. Carte's
New Theatre, The Saveloy.

THE LITEEAEY " INTERNATIONAL."

Monday.—Genei'al assemblage of all the Delegates. Unanimity
indescribable. Interesting paper on Rights of Chinese Dramatic
Authors in Siberia. Discussion. Business done :—Inkstand at
President's head. Capital dinner at the Something Hof.

Tuesday.—Highly practical day. Question before the Congress :
" Ought Magazine-writers to wear revolvers, and receive public
burial at the hands of Humanity?" Argument protracted. Busi-
ness done:—Three Bulgarian Novelists put by acclamation under
the pump. Excellent banquet at the Something Garten.

Wednesday.—Most interesting sitting. On Motion being put that,
'' In the opinion of this Congress, Black-Eyed Susan is an unblushing
adaptation of an unpopular Russian farce," President was carried
unanimously to the window and thrown out. Business done :—His
head broken. Very pleasant little entertainment at the Graf von
Somebody's later.

Thursday.—"American Copyright" question on this morning.
Bowie-knives and six-shooters used freely_ among the reporters.
Some excitement, ending in a Fiji poet running a rather nasty and
unexpected muck among the Entertainment Committee. Business
done :—Military called out. Delightful dinner at Burgomaster's.

Friday— Question for discussion this morning: " Ought unsuc-
cessful Dramatic Authors to receive £500 a year, a decoration, a
public statue, and their cab-hire from their respective States ? "
Animated meeting. Business done :—Vice-President of Economic
Section lynched. ;, Excellent dinner at a Something Haas.

Saturday. — Exciting day. Question before Congress—" The
Theoretical Rights of Publishers in the Caucasus." Capital
speech by a Patagonian penny-a-liner. Unanimity indescribable.
Chairman of General Business Committee and Presidents of Repre-
sentative Sections suddenly blown up by dynamite. Business
done :—The roof off, and a state of siege declared. Adjourned sub-
sequently to Railway Station in disguise, with head bandaged.
Nice little dinner, in a false nose, with Professor Von Something at
buffet before train starts. Off for home—tolerably well, with one
eye. A thoroughly delightful and entertaining week.

vol. lxzxi,