Punch (81.1881)

November 5, 1881.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 205

PENCIL MEMS

SlIAKSPEARE IX THE TRANSVAAL.

South African Native (timidly)— .<^^^^^^f^^^^^^^^^y/li^^^^^^ 1'J~

" The Boer will u>e us kindly ? " —-""v , hP*!L ^0^^ 'f,' ^^S, ''//J' wa-vt Pmn Ut^ht

-r,. , , ,, m ■ j k im c< n — iLs'l 1 - .-^/^'/^^'iS'/Z" MAN AND liIRD XIGIIT.

Richard the Third, Act III., Sc. 2. fi^JrJ-*^ ' s//^

„ , . f tt7~ 7 77 ■ ,7 , ; ,Th» Secretary Bird v. the Sarum
Curtain. {We shall see—in the next Act.) „ . , . . „ „ . , sino-o-e,-

Frightening the House Beetle on the Fifth of r\ovember. oio00tu.

A Masquer-raid.

SOME SUGGESTIONS EOE THEATRICAL
ADVERTISEMENTS.

"Why doesn't Mr. John Hollingshead take a leaf out of Mr.
Gas Harris's advertising book, and go in for it heavily in this
style:—

rPHE ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY says:—"Never was so
j- delighted with anything as I was with Whittington. It teaches a
lofty moral, while adorning a long cat's tail. I hope everybody will go and
Bee it."

HE. CARDINAL MANNING, says:—"On Whiitiwjlon I cannot
• bestow sufficient praise. And for this reason. There is so much in it
to be admired, that to mention names for special commendation would be
invidious. Mr. Boyce inculcates the loftiest lessons of Temperance ; while
the historical name of Vaughan, associated as it is with all that is graceful
in modern art, and all that is glorious in the annals of these realms, is a suffi-
cient guarantee for the high moral standard of teaching both by word and
deed, by action and attitude, which is inculcated on all alike, from the highest
in ihe gallery at the lowest prices, to the lowest in the stalls at the highest
prices, at your excellently, or, as I may put it stronger than that without in-
curring the suspicion of interested flattery or senseless adulation, your most
admirably conducted establishment. If all Theatres, and all Entertainments,
were like yours, I should be the first to recommend a constant attendance as
an imperative duty on everybody, and should even permit my Senior Clergy
to visit the German Reed's Entertainment on a Thursday afternoon. Bless
you, Mr. Hollingshead. Persevere and Prosper."

MR. SPURGEON says :—" Sir,—The Ballet is a joy for ever. I object
to men and women dancing together, but emphatically approve of the
spectacle of happy guileless maidens enjoying themselves apart from the
sterner sex, as only such maidens can. It touched me to the heart. Mr.
John D'Auean, too, is a thoroughly conscientious man—a good man, Sir.
He dances alone, as 1 would do myself if I had not entirely given up Terp-
sichorean exercise. I am no Puritan. True gaiety is the possession of the
truly good. Let us be gay. I have been there, and still would go.''

rpHE RIGHT HON. W. E. GLADSTONE says :—" If I want
X innocent diversion myself, or if I would recommend it to others, I send
them to the Gaiety. I thoroughly appreciate a good jest, and no one admires
your Farren policy more than I do. When I want a box, 1 will axe for it.
Have told Granville to see it. Hartington has, of course, already wit-
nessed it; and Chamberlain—but I fancy you have had enough of the
Chamberlain, eh ? Excuse the allusion. Am'11 volatile ? "

And so on. Messrs. Hare and Kendal should follow suit; and they
could announce, as a special attraction to the Clergy and the seriously
inclined of all denominations, that their theatre is the only one in
London dedicated to a Saint.

SPORT I LA MODE.

"An enterprising Frenchman has taken on lease a large tract of Southern
Algeria, which it is to be hoped is enclosed by some of nature's walls, and
intends to people it with lions, panthers, and other ferocious animals. . . .
In the middle of this Happy Valley is to be an hotel, furnished with every
luxury."—Times.

What a very splendid notion—here 's a way of winning fame :
In Algeria henceforward we shall kill the biggest game ;
For an enterprising Frenchman, who such sport must understand,
On the borders of the Desert now has leased a tract of land ;
There the lion and the panther shall be gently trotted round,
And in safety we can slay them in that happy hunting ground.

They '11 be lured into the covert, for your lion is no fool,
By tit-bits of tender donkey and the carcase of the mule ; _
We can kill them in the open, if we care to chance the spring
Of infuriated panthers,—I don't relish such a thing :
And so I shall shoot the creatures—it is not that I'm afraid—
From a comfortable distance in a charming ambuscade.

And the Manager, moreover, is to do the thing right well,

There will rise within the Desert a luxurious hotel;

A Parisian Chef will soothe us, after long exciting days,

With the filet of the panther served up a la Borchlaise.

And all animals the fiercest shall go gaily to their doom,

As we pot them from the windows of the pleasant dining-room !

" What a Nice Place is this ! "

Anybody in want of a quiet yet cheerful residence will probably
jump at the following offer, which appeared in the Times for
Tuesday, October 25 :—

npo HUNTING and SHOOTING GENTLEMEN. — FURNISHED
J- APABTMENTS—drawing-room and bed-room in the centre of three
packs of hounds, pleasantly situate. Good attendance.--, Hampshire.

Hampshire! It ought to be Barking, or the Isle of Jolly Dogs.

The Fever Dens.

Lisson Grove, indeed ! Listen, Government!—as represented by
the Seldom-at-Home Secretary, to the terrible story of the Fever
Den-izens of the Marylebone District. May the case of Lisson Grove
be a useful Lisson to Bumbledom generally, and this Vestry :n
particular.

vol. lxxxi.

t