Punch: Punch (81.1881)

October 22, 1881.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 1S3

[PHYLLOXERA.

{A Doleful Drinking Song.)

Fill, fill, "Phylloxera!
Fill anon with bitter beer," a

Mimicking, mocking' Imp replies.
" Fill no more ! " a sternly sneering,
Moodily, morosely jeering,

Grim and gloomy Goblin cries.

Fill, fill! Phylloxera

Harms not Sherry, Port, Madeira,

But it rnins Claret wines.
Let us drink extermination
To that vermin, devastation

Spreading 'mongst the Gallic vines.

Fill, fill! Phylloxera,
Greatest plague of this new era,

'Mid all pests that creep and crawl;
Insect worse than any locust,
Oh that we could have it hocussed,

Drowned or doctored once for all!

Fill, fill! Phylloxera,

No mistake and no chimaera,

Up to now defies control.
Till we can contrive to cure it.
We must, as we may, endure it—

Let us drown it in the bowl!

The Russian Emperor.

{From Our Own Correspondent.)

Moscow, September 14 {old style).—You may take it
for granted that the Emperor is coming to the Kremlin.
I saw two charwomen washing down the grand staircase.
Bismarck is also expected. I had this from a celebrated
corn-cutter here, who has been told to keep himself in
readiness.

We shall be glad to know in Moscow whether you keep
up your weekly average in England of deaths from
starvation, and undiscovered murders.

[Delayed in transmission about three weeks for political
reasons.]

AN EXAMPLE!

Grandpapa. " Not Half a Glass o' Wink ! Why, you're not a 'Total
Abstainer,' are you ? "

Tommy. "Oh, yes, Gran'pa'—'have been for Years l"

THE CABINET COUNCIL.

{By Our Own Penny-a-Liner.)

The initiatory Cabinet Council since the ceremony of prorogation
of Imperial Parliament, took place at 2 p.m. on Wednesday, at the
official residence of the Premier in Downing Street. We are in a
position to state that the object of the meeting, most unusual thus
early in the waning year, was of considerable importance, and that
its effects will hereafter be felt.

A considerable number of persons assembled in Downing Street to
witness the arrival of Members of the Cabinet; but it was nearly
two o'clock before Mr. Dodson, who was the first to arrive, walked
over from the Local Government Board. It was observed that the
Right Hon. Gentleman, who wore a tall black hat, and a neckcloth of
blueish shade, with white spots, was deeply immersed in reflection.
There is a crossing leading up to the door of the Premier's official
residence; but Mr. Dodson scarcely availed himself of it, whence
the crowd augured the worst in respect of the Transvaal. Mr. John
Bright came next in a cab, for which he paid one shilling. The
cabman stedfastly regarded the coin, first by the head and then by
the caudal appendage, but refrained from offering the customary
observation. Lord Noethbrook walked up from the west entrance,
whilst the Home Secretary—" like some other wise men " (a person
in the crowd observed in the hearing of our Reporter)—came from the
East. It was freely stated that on a former occasion this course of
procedure was exactly reversed, and there is some reason to believe
it will be found to have a bearing on the Eastern Question.

Lord Kimberley, Secretary of State for the Colonies, came over
from the Colonial Office, and Mr. Chamberlain walked across from
the Board of Trade, two incidents the significance of which was not lost
upon the watchful crowd. Lord Kimberley carried a cane, a
circumstance which seems to confirm rumours which have reached
us to the effect that the noble Lord is desirous of seeing more strin-
gent steps taken in Ireland to vindicate law and order. Mr. Cham-
berlain wore his eye-glass, a fact the bearing of which on the

Egyptian Question is so obvious that we refrain from pointing the
moral or adorning the tail.

At ten minutes past two there was a movement in the crowd, which
the police vainly strove to repress. Lord Carlingford, and the Earl
Spencer were discovered walking along Downing Street together.
At first there was some tendency to throw doubt on this significant
concatenation. But it was too true. They not only walked up to-
gether, but may be said to have entered the portals of the Premier's
residence at the same moment. Precisely four minutes later Lord
Granville came up smiling, and last of all the Marquis of Har-
tington came also. This tardy appearance on the scene of a noble-
man whose punctuality has passed into..a proverb created much
excitement, which was increased when it was discovered that the
noble Lord as he walked along, had his left hand half embedded in one
of the pockets of a pair of pepper-and-salt trousers. The lookers-on
knew very well what that meant, and apprehension for the immediate
tranquillity of Ireland was freely expressed.

We regret that, owing to the accident of Mr. Gladstone's resi-
dence in Downing Street, we are not able to complete our_ review of
the political situation by noting the particulars of his arrival at his
own door. But we may state that we hear, from a reliable source,
that the Right Hon. Gentleman has recently acquired the habit of
marking occasions of special import by reaching the Cabinet Council
Chamber via the chimney.

Immediately after the Cabinet Council of Wednesday, a Special
Representative of the Central News-ance interviewed the Premier,
when the following conversation took place :—

Reporter. It has been stated that at important politieal crises you
are accustomed to enter the Council Chamber by the chimney. Why
is this ?

Mr. Gladstone {with unnecessary warmth). Because it soots me.
Our Special Representative, with the assistance of a stalwart hall-
porter, immediately afterwards withdrew.

Suggestion for Artists who wish to deserve Hanging next
Year.—A study of Dock leaves from the Newgate Calendar.