Punch: Punch (81.1881)

November 5, 1881.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

207

SIR WILLIAM QULLIVERNON HARCOURT IN THE HANDS OF THE LILLIPUTIANS.

Sra William Veeiton Haecottet has made two long and brilliant
speeches at Glasgow. He has sprawled over the whole field of Uni-
versal politics, but has not uttered a single word about the work and
prospects of his own department. Has he a department ? No one
spelling through his speeches would be able to gather what branch of
our Government he is chiefly responsible for. He might be a Foreign
Secretary, or a sucking Premier, but no one would suppose, for a
moment, that he is that glorified Beadle called, in the language of
"Whitehall, the Home Seceetaey. Perhaps the country has no Home
Secretary r The Scotch orations fail to tell us that he has waded
through the heaps of vegetable refuse in Covent Garden, and resolved
to remove them ; that he has smelt the distant fragrance of Billings-
gate, and resolved to remove it; that he has his eye on the Asylum for
Idiots at Clerkenwell, and has resolved to destroy it and its Licensing

power ; and that he is alive to the shortcomings of Scotland Yard,
and is not content with the publication of a "Code " and a few Fenian
" scares " while dozens of murderers remain utterly undiscovered.
He playfully alludes to his " recruit," Lord Rosebeey, but promises
that the Under-Secretary shall devote much of his attention to Scot-
land. "What is the matter with Scotland ? If the kilts are too short
for the requirements of decency, the Loel Chambeelaik is the
proper officer to refer to; and if the musical pitch of the bagpipe
requires alteration, the matter can be referred to the Meddlevex
Magistrates, as their last musical job before they are exterminated.
London alone is quite large enough to tax the energy and ability of
even Sir W. Veenon Haecottet ; and it would be well to see him
dropping the Universal in his speeches, and attending a little^more
to the parochial requirements of his office.