Punch: Punch (81.1881)

228 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON OHABIYABL [November 12, 1881,

A SOET OP "SORTES."

Aetee perusing Poet 0. Wilde's Eleutheria, The Garden of Eros,
the egotistical poem called The Burden of Itys—(or "J His;"
evidently egotistical)—we hastily snatched a volume of Bybon from
the shelf—alas ! why should it be on the shelf, and 0. Wilde on the
table ?—when, on the book opening at haphazard, the first line that
caught us was—

" Say, why should Oscar be forgot ? "

To which there is evidently no answer whatever. The Fifth of
November owes its apparently lasting popularity to the fact that it
rhymes with " Remember." And then there came a flashing remi-
niscence—from Hamlet:—

" For 0 for 0 the hobby-horse is forgot."

"Well, if the hobby-horse is forgot—as 'tis the fate of most hobby-
horses to be forgotten, and that pretty quickly—why not Oscae ?—
of whose style this is something like a specimen—though we quote
from a very treacherous memory:—■

" Myrtle and jessamine for you
(0 the red nose is fair to see) !
For me the cypress and the rue
(Fairest of all is Thingummec)!

" For yon three lovers on your hand
(Green 'grass twopence a head) !
For me three paces on the sand
(Chuck lilies at my head)! "

"Three paces on the sand"—evidently a dance of niggers at
Margate. Hooray for Oscae ! Why shouldn't he be forgot ? Was
he taken round the town on last Saturday the Fifth ? Holloa, boys,
holloa ! Will the Saveloy Manager " exploit " him in America as a
splendid advertisement for Patience f

And isn't he delightful when he gives us his impressions of the
Theatre—specially of Miss Ellen" Teeey as Portia ?—

" No woman Veronese looked upon

Was half so fair as thou whom I behold."
* * * * *

" 0 Portia, take my heart: it is thy due :
I think I will not quarrel with the Bond."

He should have written—

"I think I will not quarrel with the Blonde."

He had better not, or he 'd get the worst of it. But perhaps he
was thinking of Miss Jessie Bond, at the Saveloy Theatre, in which
case his first inspiration was right. But—shall Oscae have a statue
-no, we mean, shall Oscae be forgot—

Shall young acquaintance be forgot
And never called to mind ?

He'd better be called to mind as soon as possible, or, if Shylock is
about with that knife, he '11 soon " Larn him to be a Poet " and give
his impressions of the theatre.

" 0 Hair of Gold ! 0 Crimson Lips! 0 Face "-

he cries—and we exclaim—

" 0 Soda Wash ! 0 Carmine Brush!—0 Cheek-

But this last expression must be applied to the half-sovereign bard
in the stalls, whom Mr. Henet Ieving of the Consummate Legs
must love like a real Corsican Brother. Ah, yes, " Only, should
Oscae be forgot ? " We give it up—but we feel sure there is no sort
of reason why he shouldn't.

MUSICAL NOTE.

One of the best Barbers we have ever seen on the Operatic Stage—
and we've seen at least five, beginning with Tambtjeini— is Signor
Padilla, at present playing Figaro at the Lyceum. The Opera is
capitally done. Mile. Mabimon, invaluable in comic opera, is nearly
as good a Rosina as she is in La Figlia del Reggimento, which is
saying a great deal, but not a whit too much. Signor Zoboli, as Don
Bartolo, has a touch of the quaint stolidity that occasionally suggests
reminiscences of Keelet. Almaviva is a trifle weak, and Don Basilio
spoils his appearance by wearing a heavy moustache, quite out of
keeping with the character, and enough to provoke Signor Padilla
(who, as Figaro, always has an eye to business ") into shaving him
on the spot—in fact, on two spots, upper lip and chin.

The immortal Comic Opera "went" as if it were a "farcical
comedy"—there is a considerable amount of farce in it. as the
lesson scene, with the shaving of Bartolo, would be called panto-
mimic " nowadays—and the whole house split its sides with laughter,
a cheap gallery and pit showing real pleasure and appreciation
by its discriminating applause.

Mr. Hayes's short season is soon over, and we hope he will have
been encouraged to greater efforts by the success of this venture.

But what is this ? More German Bands ! for Her Majesty's and
Drury Lane!! Heavens! we are promised a Cycle of' Wag-neb !
And perhaps at two guineas a head for each performance. Hum!
Our Musical Young Man says, though very fond of bicycling, he
shan't buy cycle stalls for that journev. But he's a Wobbling
Wag'ner, he is. And Wag-nee is coming with his Parsifal-lal-lal-
lal-la !

HOW TO IMPROVE LONDON.-No. 5.

Some oe otje Statues.

Queen Anne, Queen Anne's Gate, Westminster.—Her Majesty is
standing haughtily in an area at the corner of two windy streets.
She is thus in a very exposed condition, which accounts for her pie-
bald appearance. One clear moiety of her is comparatively white,

the other half is
black. She might
be taken, so far as
colour is concerned,
as an allegorical
representative of
" Dusk and Mid-
night." Her bear-
ing is suggestive
of "defence and
defiance." She is
gallantly protect-
ing, with an ex-
pression of extreme
determination, a

i^rl^ii AmwboarM-

enormous sceptre,
with which, apparently, she has just been giving somebody what is
popularly known as a " one-er." In front of her is a lamp-post of
a homely pattern, which seems to have been placed there to assist her
during the watches of the night in detecting the presence of her
sworn foes, the street-boys. But further protection has been afforded
her. The palings belonging to an adjacent house have been thought-
fully continued round her area, so that the more violent attacks of
the costermonger are prevented. In revenge, the costermonger has
pelted Her Majesty with old tobacco-pipes—fragments of which
plebeian .but useful articles are seen lying at her feet. It is impos-
sible_ not to notice that the exigences of her painful situation have
deprived her of all womanly tenderness. She has the ferocity of the
tigress robbed of her cubs—the deadly malignity of the insulted
boa constrictor. Only one little trait recalls the fact that, after all,
she belongs to the coquettish sex—from her attitude, she is evidently
foolishly proud of her boots !

t James the Second, Whitehall Gardens.—In a moment we seize the
situation. The statue was evidently the result of a practical joke
in the time of '' the Merry
Monarch." No doubt
James was persuaded by
his madcap brother to
"get up" as a Roman
General, to amuse the
ladies of the Court. The
weak but Illustrious Per-
sonage consented to gratify
Chables's whim. When
he was dressed, the roars
of laughter with which
his appearance must have
been greeted no doubt 'ffflllfflflWlliil
made the walls of the , . t
James despondent. Banqueting-Hall hard by Bu°y d UP Wlth HooP-
echo again. " Old Bow-
let " regained his gravity, and insisted that James "looked very
well." The sycophant courtiers, taking their cue from His Ma-
jesty, chimed in with "Admirable!—noble! — grand!" The
weak James, incredulous at first, was gradually convinced that the
costume loas becoming. "Odds fish!" exclaimed the Merry
Monarch—" but we will have Master Jones, the Sculptor, to take
our good brother off7" No sooner said than done. James is kept in
an absurd attitude for hours while grinning Master J ones hammers
away at the marble, and—here is the result! Perhaps it was once
a real Jim of art. But alas ! a couple of cent'ries haven't protected
it from the Cockshying boys.

{To be continued.)

Ballad O'pera disappeared with Balfe and Bitnn. It has been
superseded by Gilbebt and Sullivan:, with what may be fairly
termed " The Bab Ballad Opera."

imp TO CORRESPONDENTS,—In no case can Contributions be returned unless accompanied by a Stamped and Directed Envelope.

Copies should be kept