Punch: Punch (81.1881)

punch, oe the london charivari. 233

fE DO WITH HIM ?

A V ij j We asked the eminent

'.O but somewhat frivolous
Artist who signs himself
" Dumb-Crambo Junior,"
to give us what should be
an historical picture loy-
ally representing the
Throne and Court. He
promised the Cartoon
forthwith, premising that
it would cost him much
time, labour, and research.
Life-like portraits would
be indispensable, &c, &c.
Also great expenses being
unavoidable, would we,

fc^- y^^y ^^^^^^^HpFT/vlv ther he misunderstood us,
^=^?%zzy or whether, as he says, he

Throxb and Court. has got " Fox-hunting on

the brain," or whether he
has been carousing, we do not know. But the accompanying picture
is the result. He shall hear from us again. No, on second thoughts,
he shan't.

CHANGE AND BARTER.

ECCLESIASTICAL ACCOMMODATION.—A Colonial Bishop,
who, on account of his Examining Chaplain having been eaten
at a Visitation Breakfast by his native Clergy, has found it impos-
sible to continue the hearty administration of his diocese except by
deputy, wishes to dispose of his perfectly New Episcopal Outfit, as
soon as possible, to a responsible Purchaser. He would have no
objection to part with it in lots if required ; and, as to meet the exi-
gencies of a severe winter climate, an entire Suit, including a bold
and handsome Apron, had to be made of long fringed black Siberian
bear-skin, an Arctic Explorer in half mourning would find this an
excellent opportunity. Several Shovel Hats in prime condition:
one, a little damaged, could be ironed out, covered with red calico,
and worn with great effect by a retrenching Cardinal at the sea-side.
A large selection of superior Gaiters. A Eoot-Ball Team of a serious
turn might write.—Address, Episcopos, care of the Hall-Porter, the
Athenaeum, W.

HISTORIC HEIRLOOM.—A Gentleman whose family have been
connected with Brixton Rise since the Conquest, but who is him-
self thinking of shortly returning to Normandy to claim his original
possessions, wishes, prior to his departure, to find an appreciative pur-
chaser for the identical suit of block-tin armour that was worn by
his direct ancestor at the Battle of Agincourt. The plumed helmet,
leg- and arm-pieces, breastplate, spurs, and shield, are all really in
a wonderful state of preservation, and had only quite recently been
worn, together with a large pasteboard head, by the representative
of Sir Jocus Focus for upwards of a hundred nights in a provincial
pantomime. Would form a pleasing and appropriate umbrella-
stand in the passage of a small Suburban Villa, to the tenant of
which some slight but ostensible connection with a county family
would be considered an object. Could be cut up into excellent
coffee-pots. Helmet makes a capital jelly-mould. As Advertiser
would like to do business with a genuine Antiquarian, the Constable
of the Tower might communicate ?—Honi Son, care of Mohpn,
5, Araminta Pv,ow, Upper Camberwell.

TO THE INGENIOUS.-A Mechanician, who has devoted the
patience and labour of a lifetime to the Construction of a
Figure capable of producing accurately all the Articulate Sounds of
the Human Voice, and of effectively sustaining a Monosyllabic
Conversation with the Manipulator in five different European
Languages, has had the misfortune to fall down-stairs with his
priceless invention on his seventy-fifth birthday. Though the shock
has somewhat impaired the efficacy of its complicated and intricate
internal Mechanism, yet as, whenffully wound up, the automaton
may still be counted on to provoke considerable merriment by a
sustained imitation of the Screech of an Ostrich for five-and-twenty
minutes, the Proprietor would be willing to take any useful Domestic
Article in Immediate Exchange. Being represented with a rather
grotesque cast of countenance, and seated with crossed legs on a
mahogany chest of drawers, it might be shipped with confidence and
disposed of with advantage to any community of Savages anxious to
secure the services of an agreeable Fetish. Could be Shot at for
Nuts at a Fair, or utilised as a powerful Forge Bellows. Would be
Changed for a Wadded Japanese Dressing-Gown or an equivalent in
Cranberry Jam. Open to any offer.—Professor, Springfield,
Shouter's Hill.

THE LYCEUM OPERA.

Considering the difficulties to be contended with, the Lyceum
performances of Les Huguenots have been very satisfactory, that is,
as far as the principals are concerned, but Signor Tito Mattei might
have limited the Rataplan chorus to one verse, and sung the
Huguenot soldier's solo himself. _ Oh, that Huguenot soldier ! if aU
the rest of his party were like him, the " massacre " was an act of
retributive justice. The bathing chorus might be judiciously
omitted. Signor Papilla's II Conte di Nevers is admirable ; we do
not remember a finer performance of this most dramatic part.
Madame Rose Hersee is a pleasant and sprightly Urbano, though
we could wish that her costume, which is of the old-fashioned two-
pence coloured style, did not render her so conspicuous as a startling
page in French history.

The singing and acting of Signor Frapoli as Faoul, and Mlle.
Vogri as Valentino, would leave scarcely anything to be desired if
they would only agree not to have a shouting match in their last
grand duett. Also when Valentino, has once fainted we should
strongly recommend her to remain unconscious, and on no account
to rouse herself for another effort.

Very wisely the Fourth Act of Les Huguenots is omitted, and the
curtain goes down to the sound of a tremendous explosion, and then
a lot of smoke from the Prompt Side, suggesting the idea that the
Last Act has gone off capitally by itself off the stage and blown the
Prompter all to pieces—three Act pieces.

Don Giovanni is worth seeing for the sake of Signor Pamela's
performance of the Don. "The Don! he's a Nipper!" as the
Russian Joker observed. The grace with which Signor Papilla
does the honours [of his house in the gay and festive supper scene,
when he has invited three ladies of the ballet to supper after the
Opera is over, and gone in with reckless prodigality for a quarter of
a pound of ham from the cookshop at the corner of Bow Street, six
pennorth of milk biscuits, and a bottle of zoedone, is something to
see and to remember. His extreme gallantry and politeness to the
ladies of the ballet, made their conduct in nudging one another to
pass the ham, and. then helping themselves to it with a carving-fork,
all the more reprehensible. But these are mere details of stage
management, and perhaps these gay young things had never been
out to supper with a real Don before : but when the Opera has been
repeated three or four times, the novelty of so much unwonted luxury
will begin to wear off a little, and then perhaps they '11 ignore the
milk biscuits, refuse the zoedone, and turn up their noses at the
ham. What will the Don do then ? A delicate situation for a host
to have asked three sneering guests to supper ; but still such is our
unlimited confidence in Signor Papilla, that we back him to be more
than equal even to this emergency, and to come triumphantly out of
the difficulty. We wish there were a better Leporello. But the
Ghost-Statue is a very spirited performance.

We would go miles to see Signor Papilla as Figaro, and should
like to see him the central figure of a first-rate caste.

The public should be grateful to Mr. Hayes for what he has done
to bring good performances of the best operatic works within reach

of a two-shilling Pit and one-
shilling Gallery, and we have not
the slightest hesitation in record-
ing our opinion, that, could this
venture last out the ordeal of a
li ilihl, nrst l°ss> then, as the existence

of such an entertainment became
known, so it would become more
and more patronised by all classes,
the quality of the material could
be gradually improved, judicious
selections would be made, mise-
en-scene and rehearsal receive
thorough attention, and the Ita-
lian Operatic Company (Limited
— to reasonable prices) would
become one of the most popular
institutions in London, for, at all
events, two-thirds of the year.

A propos of music, the Save-
loy Bab Ballad Opera Company
is doing capitally, and with its
" The man was a phantasmagoria in D'Oyly Carte du jour Matinees
Himself—lie was so volatile and an(j jtg menu de nuit^ no new dish
™m- Myron. ^jjj ^e Ayan^e(i ^ere for gome

time to come. Here is Mr.
Grossicith as the aesthetic Funthorne, the greenery gallery young
man.

Mrs. Ramsbotham tried to think of the name of that early Dutch
Painter. " What is it ? dear me ! " she said ; "it begins with M. !
Oh, I know—Squinting Moses." Then they found out what she
meant, Opentin Matsys, of course.