DOI Heft:
February 23, 1884
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17756#0102
96
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[February 23, 1884.
Wednesday Afternoon.—Writ moved this afternoon for West
Norfolk) and House learns with surprise and regret, that Big Ben
will show his face no more. Had forgotten him. Randolph filling
his old seat with new associations. But he was a good old man, and
how the Navy is to go to the dogs without him, don’t know. Year
after year he noted its progress, warned the House, and no one
listened. He’s given us up now.
Afternoon devoted to talking round Grand Committees. No one
I really opposes these except Raines, who hopes some day to be Chair-
man of Committees. Doesn’t like to see the real business going
elsewhere. Nevertheless, Conservatives talked and talked, and
talked Motion out.
“Dear me, I hope this isn’t obstruction,” Sir Stafford says, look-
ing uneasily round.
“No,” said Stanhope, “it isn’t obstruction, but all the same,
Government haven’t been able to do anything this afternoon.”
Business done.—None.
Thursday Night.—Few things more imposing than Forster, when
access of honesty comes upon him, and, at whatever cost of personal
feeling, he is compelled to denounce old colleagues. On these occa-
sions, as he stands in Liberal Camp, and is uproariously cheered by
j the enemy, he looks ruggeder and more honest than ever. Hair more
rumpled, face flushed, and clothes more than ever suggestiveof being
made for somebody else a size larger. Thing has been done fre-
quently. Political history full of Ministers out of place discovering
growing iniquity in late colleagues. But no one ever dressed or
looked part so well as Forster.
Got along splendidly up to certain point, and that, unfortunately,
crucial one. Having demonstrated stage by stage the fatal, hope-
less, unrelieved failure of Government, finished up by calmly
announcing that he would vote for them. Opposition, lately jubi-
lant, stricken dumb. Liberals rudely laughed. Gentlemen below
Gangway been interruptive before. Had uttered impatient snorts,
and dropped indignant ejaculations. Forster, descending from
dignity of Judge to attitude of irate Policeman, from time to time
dashed in among them, got hold of somebody, and began to scold
him. In angry excitement of moment always got wrong sow by the
ear. Much squealing followed; Eight Hon. Gentlemen bickered ;
Radicals jeered; Conservatives madly cheered; Speaker called
“ Order! Order ! ” and Forster retired from personal fray with that
slow stride and comical assumption of dignity which policeman puts
on after ponderously dashing into crowd, “taking up” somebody,
and being convinced it is the wrong man.
“Forster means well,” Harcourt said when it was all over,
“but does not manage cleverly. No one can blame him for making
speech against his own side. Done it myself often, but his conclu-
sion spoils all. He gives the butter of his speech to the Con-
| servatives, and the bread of his vote to Liberals, leaving both
dissatisfied and angry.”
Business done.—More speeches on Yote of Censure.
Friday Night.—“Must have Lyons on our side,” said Major
Nolan—or is it Colonel now ? In these warlike times officers on
active service advance so rapidly. Remember before Ashantee War
he was Captain Nolan.
Dr. Lyons been discussing for nearly an hour policy in Egypt.
Most prodigious dose of commonplace House yet taken. Half a
hundredweight of bread pills as innoxious, but more nourishing.
“ Yes,” continued Nolan, “must bring him as peace-offering to
Parnell. “ Expect he ’ll want well shaking before taking ; but I ’ll
do it,” and the Warrior puffed out his chest, wagged his head, and
felt his biceps.
“What’s Nolan doing among the Parnellites ? ” I asked Lord
Mayor. “ He sat with the Liberals last Session.”
“ He’s gone over Nolans volens,” said the great scholar. ‘ General
| election coming on, you know.” Made as if he would playfully plant
forefinger in my ribs; but remembered he was Lord Mayor, and
i stopped in time.
Business done.—More words on Yote of Censure.
heartless frivolity.
Our Own Tomfool writes to know whether the “ cycle of Cathay,”
mentioned by Tennyson in Locksley^Hall, is a bicycle or a tricycle,
and whether a specimen was included in the recent exhibition at the
Floral Hall?
“ Question ! ”—How much the happier do you expect to be made
by any Act that Parliament is likely to pass in this Session ?
Definition for the poor old Washer of Dirty Linen in
Southampton Street.—“Saturday” Satire—Flat-irony!
Telegraphic English.—Abbreviated, elliptical—iehgrammatical.
A HAPPY DAY.
“ Mr. Justice Daa', with the Mayor of Leeds, yesterday inspected the gaol
at Armley. During his tour of the building liis Lordship mounted the wheel
of the treadmill, and worked it himself. After spending two hours in the
gaol his Lordship certified in the Yisiting Justices’ book that the prison was
in a high state of discipline.”—Daily News, Feb. 13th.
The highly satisfactory experience of Mr. Justice Day on the
treadmill at Armley Gaol last week, has, as might have been fore-
seen, led to the expression
of such a hearty and unani-
mous desire on the part of
his brethren of the Bench to
emulate him in his spirit of
practical inquiry, that the
whole of Her Majesty’s
Judges presented themselves
in a body at an early hour
yesterday morning, at Mill-
bank, and clamoured eagerly
to be allowed to submit
themselves for the rest of
the day to the full and most
rigorous discipline of the
establishment. On the
Deputy-Governor being sent
for, and the nature of
their demand explained to
him, he most courteously in-
timated that he would do
his best to comply with it,
and proceeded forthwith to
summon the necessary Officials, who, supported by a strong company
of armed W arders, good-humouredly took charge of the learned
visitors, and promptly subjected them, without further ado, to the
ordeal of the preliminary bath.
Several Judges from the Court of Appeal having expressed them-
selves thoroughly satisfied with this refreshing commencement, and
requested that they might be allowed to sit down to a little oakum,
the Lord Chief Justice, the Master of the Rolls, Baron Huddlestons,
and Yice-Chancellor Bacon, acting on the somewhat pertinacious
advice of Mr. Justice Day, who watched their proceedings with
evident interest and amusement, ultimately mounted the treadmill,
the Deputy-Governor leaving them merrily at work as. he conducted
the remainder of the party to another part of the building. Being
shown the various contrivances for personal restraint, the whole of
the Queen’s Bench Division demanded that they might be thrown
into irons, a request that was immediately complied with. The rest
of the day was pleasantly passed in stone-breaking, cell-scouring, and
other penitential recreations, varied by an occasional turn at the
crank, the whole culminating in a genial demand on the part of the
Lord Chancellor, that one or more of the younger Judges should
receive a dozen lashes apiece from the cat. As it was, however, now
past five o’clock, this part of the programme had, much to the dis-
appointment of the Chancellor, who was manifesting a quiet but i
keen interest in the preparations, to be reluctantly postponed for
another occasion.
As the Deputy-Governor was bidding farewell to his guests a good
deal of merriment was caused by the discovery that, owing to the
fact that the official in charge of the treadmill had somewhat mis-
understood his orders, the Lord Chief Justice and his three learned
colleagues were still hard at work on the wheel. This little con-
tretemps having been set right, and the four fatigued sufferers
gently helped down, Mr. Justice Bowen, who had joined the
party too late in the day to enable him to take an active part in the
proceedings, cordially thanked the Deputy-Governor in the name of
his learned brethren for the great pleasure they had derived from
their visit. Nine-and-twenty stretchers being then provided, the
learned visitors slowly dispersed to their respective homes.
Check ’
We know that “ the wind is tempered to the shorn lamb,” and, as
far as we can see, things look likely to be made pleasant for the
Shorncliffe. For some time past the South Eastern have been enjoy-
ing a goodly portion of the Folkestone traffic at Shorncliffe, therefore
the London, Chatham and Dover are about to construct a short line
of seven miles, and have a Shorncliffe station of their own. Mr.
Forbes, by this dexterous movement, has benefited both the Public
and his Company, and yet Sir Edward Watkin is not Happy !
Some of the Highland Regiments are dissatisfied at the contem-
plated abolition of the “Feather Bonnet.” Of course, this was a
part of their uniform on which they had specially plumed themselves.
A “ Dav ’’ on the Treadmill,
Feb. 12, 1884.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[February 23, 1884.
Wednesday Afternoon.—Writ moved this afternoon for West
Norfolk) and House learns with surprise and regret, that Big Ben
will show his face no more. Had forgotten him. Randolph filling
his old seat with new associations. But he was a good old man, and
how the Navy is to go to the dogs without him, don’t know. Year
after year he noted its progress, warned the House, and no one
listened. He’s given us up now.
Afternoon devoted to talking round Grand Committees. No one
I really opposes these except Raines, who hopes some day to be Chair-
man of Committees. Doesn’t like to see the real business going
elsewhere. Nevertheless, Conservatives talked and talked, and
talked Motion out.
“Dear me, I hope this isn’t obstruction,” Sir Stafford says, look-
ing uneasily round.
“No,” said Stanhope, “it isn’t obstruction, but all the same,
Government haven’t been able to do anything this afternoon.”
Business done.—None.
Thursday Night.—Few things more imposing than Forster, when
access of honesty comes upon him, and, at whatever cost of personal
feeling, he is compelled to denounce old colleagues. On these occa-
sions, as he stands in Liberal Camp, and is uproariously cheered by
j the enemy, he looks ruggeder and more honest than ever. Hair more
rumpled, face flushed, and clothes more than ever suggestiveof being
made for somebody else a size larger. Thing has been done fre-
quently. Political history full of Ministers out of place discovering
growing iniquity in late colleagues. But no one ever dressed or
looked part so well as Forster.
Got along splendidly up to certain point, and that, unfortunately,
crucial one. Having demonstrated stage by stage the fatal, hope-
less, unrelieved failure of Government, finished up by calmly
announcing that he would vote for them. Opposition, lately jubi-
lant, stricken dumb. Liberals rudely laughed. Gentlemen below
Gangway been interruptive before. Had uttered impatient snorts,
and dropped indignant ejaculations. Forster, descending from
dignity of Judge to attitude of irate Policeman, from time to time
dashed in among them, got hold of somebody, and began to scold
him. In angry excitement of moment always got wrong sow by the
ear. Much squealing followed; Eight Hon. Gentlemen bickered ;
Radicals jeered; Conservatives madly cheered; Speaker called
“ Order! Order ! ” and Forster retired from personal fray with that
slow stride and comical assumption of dignity which policeman puts
on after ponderously dashing into crowd, “taking up” somebody,
and being convinced it is the wrong man.
“Forster means well,” Harcourt said when it was all over,
“but does not manage cleverly. No one can blame him for making
speech against his own side. Done it myself often, but his conclu-
sion spoils all. He gives the butter of his speech to the Con-
| servatives, and the bread of his vote to Liberals, leaving both
dissatisfied and angry.”
Business done.—More speeches on Yote of Censure.
Friday Night.—“Must have Lyons on our side,” said Major
Nolan—or is it Colonel now ? In these warlike times officers on
active service advance so rapidly. Remember before Ashantee War
he was Captain Nolan.
Dr. Lyons been discussing for nearly an hour policy in Egypt.
Most prodigious dose of commonplace House yet taken. Half a
hundredweight of bread pills as innoxious, but more nourishing.
“ Yes,” continued Nolan, “must bring him as peace-offering to
Parnell. “ Expect he ’ll want well shaking before taking ; but I ’ll
do it,” and the Warrior puffed out his chest, wagged his head, and
felt his biceps.
“What’s Nolan doing among the Parnellites ? ” I asked Lord
Mayor. “ He sat with the Liberals last Session.”
“ He’s gone over Nolans volens,” said the great scholar. ‘ General
| election coming on, you know.” Made as if he would playfully plant
forefinger in my ribs; but remembered he was Lord Mayor, and
i stopped in time.
Business done.—More words on Yote of Censure.
heartless frivolity.
Our Own Tomfool writes to know whether the “ cycle of Cathay,”
mentioned by Tennyson in Locksley^Hall, is a bicycle or a tricycle,
and whether a specimen was included in the recent exhibition at the
Floral Hall?
“ Question ! ”—How much the happier do you expect to be made
by any Act that Parliament is likely to pass in this Session ?
Definition for the poor old Washer of Dirty Linen in
Southampton Street.—“Saturday” Satire—Flat-irony!
Telegraphic English.—Abbreviated, elliptical—iehgrammatical.
A HAPPY DAY.
“ Mr. Justice Daa', with the Mayor of Leeds, yesterday inspected the gaol
at Armley. During his tour of the building liis Lordship mounted the wheel
of the treadmill, and worked it himself. After spending two hours in the
gaol his Lordship certified in the Yisiting Justices’ book that the prison was
in a high state of discipline.”—Daily News, Feb. 13th.
The highly satisfactory experience of Mr. Justice Day on the
treadmill at Armley Gaol last week, has, as might have been fore-
seen, led to the expression
of such a hearty and unani-
mous desire on the part of
his brethren of the Bench to
emulate him in his spirit of
practical inquiry, that the
whole of Her Majesty’s
Judges presented themselves
in a body at an early hour
yesterday morning, at Mill-
bank, and clamoured eagerly
to be allowed to submit
themselves for the rest of
the day to the full and most
rigorous discipline of the
establishment. On the
Deputy-Governor being sent
for, and the nature of
their demand explained to
him, he most courteously in-
timated that he would do
his best to comply with it,
and proceeded forthwith to
summon the necessary Officials, who, supported by a strong company
of armed W arders, good-humouredly took charge of the learned
visitors, and promptly subjected them, without further ado, to the
ordeal of the preliminary bath.
Several Judges from the Court of Appeal having expressed them-
selves thoroughly satisfied with this refreshing commencement, and
requested that they might be allowed to sit down to a little oakum,
the Lord Chief Justice, the Master of the Rolls, Baron Huddlestons,
and Yice-Chancellor Bacon, acting on the somewhat pertinacious
advice of Mr. Justice Day, who watched their proceedings with
evident interest and amusement, ultimately mounted the treadmill,
the Deputy-Governor leaving them merrily at work as. he conducted
the remainder of the party to another part of the building. Being
shown the various contrivances for personal restraint, the whole of
the Queen’s Bench Division demanded that they might be thrown
into irons, a request that was immediately complied with. The rest
of the day was pleasantly passed in stone-breaking, cell-scouring, and
other penitential recreations, varied by an occasional turn at the
crank, the whole culminating in a genial demand on the part of the
Lord Chancellor, that one or more of the younger Judges should
receive a dozen lashes apiece from the cat. As it was, however, now
past five o’clock, this part of the programme had, much to the dis-
appointment of the Chancellor, who was manifesting a quiet but i
keen interest in the preparations, to be reluctantly postponed for
another occasion.
As the Deputy-Governor was bidding farewell to his guests a good
deal of merriment was caused by the discovery that, owing to the
fact that the official in charge of the treadmill had somewhat mis-
understood his orders, the Lord Chief Justice and his three learned
colleagues were still hard at work on the wheel. This little con-
tretemps having been set right, and the four fatigued sufferers
gently helped down, Mr. Justice Bowen, who had joined the
party too late in the day to enable him to take an active part in the
proceedings, cordially thanked the Deputy-Governor in the name of
his learned brethren for the great pleasure they had derived from
their visit. Nine-and-twenty stretchers being then provided, the
learned visitors slowly dispersed to their respective homes.
Check ’
We know that “ the wind is tempered to the shorn lamb,” and, as
far as we can see, things look likely to be made pleasant for the
Shorncliffe. For some time past the South Eastern have been enjoy-
ing a goodly portion of the Folkestone traffic at Shorncliffe, therefore
the London, Chatham and Dover are about to construct a short line
of seven miles, and have a Shorncliffe station of their own. Mr.
Forbes, by this dexterous movement, has benefited both the Public
and his Company, and yet Sir Edward Watkin is not Happy !
Some of the Highland Regiments are dissatisfied at the contem-
plated abolition of the “Feather Bonnet.” Of course, this was a
part of their uniform on which they had specially plumed themselves.
A “ Dav ’’ on the Treadmill,
Feb. 12, 1884.