DOI issue:
March 22, 1884
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17756#0140
134
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[March 22, 1884.
SStillistm IMimtjritrtt Jerrofo.
IN MEMORIAM.
Son of Douglas and friend of Shirley,
Punch must wing you a parting stave !
Lay reluctant, since all too early,
Spring’s first wreath, on an honoured grave.
Spring was with you in life’s white winter,
Genial friend with the cheery laugh;
Ever ready a lance to splinter,
Strong in tourney, or light in chaff.
Youthful ever and aye courageous,
Men will miss you in hours of gloom,
Pleasant comrade, whose mirth contagious
Spread light laughter around the room.
Sure “ storm-centres’’—the human kind—are
All too common on our dull earth ;
Souls like Jerrold’s—more hard to find—are
Halcyon “ centres ” of sunny mirth.
Hearty Cruikshank and hapless Dore,
Passed before him, would praise confirm
Dealt to him who has told their story.
How his own has attained its term.
Clean as savour of honest wine is
Every chapter, and friendship, fain
Tearfully to inscribe its Finis,
Lacks not pride to assuage its pain.
NO CHEESEPARINGS !
“And ’ow about the Performers for My Lady’s Concert on Wednes-
day next ? ”
“Oh, it’s all right, Sip. Gorgius ! I’ve got you six First Yiolins,
four Second Yiolins, and-”
“ Second Yiolins be ’anged ! I ’ll ’ave none but First Fiddles per-
forming in my ’Ouse ! ”
Daffodilatory Apology.
In a case of daffodil-stealing heard at the "Woolwich
Police Court the other day, we read the following report
of what the Magistrate said to the Prosecutor, whose
property had been stolen :—
“ Mr. Balguy : Last year when you told me that a few of
these yellow flowers were worth three shillings, I disbelieved
you, but I made inquiries and found that you were right. I
am glad to have the opportunity of apologising.”
It is hard to believe that the magisterial mind should
take a year to find out the value of daffodils. But if the
value had been discovered sooner, we cannot understand
why the apology was not tendered earlier. However, it
is better late than never, and it will probably have the
effect of fixing the market value of daffodils in the
neighbourhood of Abbey Wood.
Pretty Girl’s Version of Pope.—“ Beauty is drawn,
dear, by a Single Heir ! ”
COMPANY MANNERS ; OR, A SOUTH-EASTERN
DIFFICULTY.
The Kent Argus, with its watchful eyes ever open, recently re-
ported how a deputation appointed by the Dover Town Council
interviewed the Joint Committee of the London, Chatham, and
| Dover and South-Eastern lines in order to obtain greater facilities
j of intercommunication between Shorncliffe and Margate.
Mr. J. S. Forbes, the energetic Chairman of the London, Chatham,
: and Dover line, quite agreed with the Deputation, and said that his
Company was in no way responsible, and that he for his part was
j ready to act in the most brotherly way towards Sir Edward
I Watkin’s line, if Sir Watkin would only let him.
j The Deputation wouldn’t he put off by Lord Brabourne, who
| pleaded Sir Watejn’s absence on the Continent as a reason for not
giving an immediate reply, hut declared that if they did not receive
| a definite answer by Thursday the 20th they would appeal to Parlia-
ment.
The present state of the trains “ in correspondence ” between Rams-
gate and. Dover is a most perfect exemplification of “ How not to do
I it with as much show of “ doing it ” as possible,
j distance is something between seventeen and twenty miles.
I j’ut anypne, staying at Ramsgate, and struck by the happy thought
i ot running over to Dover and crossing to Calais and so on to
Boulogne, just “to make a day of it,” returning next morning, will
meet with little encouragement from the two Companies whose lines
are cast in _ such pleasant places, and who might sing with the
Ethiopian minstrel—
“ 0 if we two could agree
What a happy couple we should be ! ”
The J aunty Tourist will naturally reason thus: “lam only seventeen
miles from Dover: there is a direct line: the South-Eastern takes me
from Ramsgate to Deal, the L. C. & D. from Deal to Dover, and as
the L. C. & D.’s boats for Calais start from Dover Pier, evidently
the trains will be so arranged as to enable passengers to catch the
mail boat at 9GO, or the midday boat at 12 ; though, as I am off for
an outing, the 9 GO will he better for me. Let me consult the Time
Table of the two Companies. How convenient! What a sweet thing
it is for Railway Companies to dwell in unity! ” and forthwith he
procures the Time Table. .
First the Joyful Tourist looks for a through train from Ramsgate
to Dover. “ Ah ! ” he exclaims, “ here it is—12‘13—but stop ! ” and
it suddenly occurs to him that, as the second and last boat of the
day leaves Dover at 12, i.e., a quarter of an hour before he starts from
Ramsgate, this won’t do. Evidently the two Companies are of opinion
that no one at Margate or Ramsgate can possibly want to start for
Dover before 11*52 from the one place, and 12G3 from the other, or
could have any kind of object in being in Dover before 1G5, and so
this is the only direct through train in the morning, and 7'50 from
Margate, 8'5 from Ramsgate arriving at Dover 9'36, is the only after-
noon train.
Our Supposed Tourist, being up to his work and being able to pass
a first-class exam, in Bradshaw, is not going to be beaten by such a
difficulty as this, and being determined to get from Ramsgate to
Dover in time for the morning boat at 9'40, he procures the S, E.
Guide and the L. C. & D. Guide, and, like the gentleman who wrote
on “ Chinese metaphysics,” he “combines the information.”
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[March 22, 1884.
SStillistm IMimtjritrtt Jerrofo.
IN MEMORIAM.
Son of Douglas and friend of Shirley,
Punch must wing you a parting stave !
Lay reluctant, since all too early,
Spring’s first wreath, on an honoured grave.
Spring was with you in life’s white winter,
Genial friend with the cheery laugh;
Ever ready a lance to splinter,
Strong in tourney, or light in chaff.
Youthful ever and aye courageous,
Men will miss you in hours of gloom,
Pleasant comrade, whose mirth contagious
Spread light laughter around the room.
Sure “ storm-centres’’—the human kind—are
All too common on our dull earth ;
Souls like Jerrold’s—more hard to find—are
Halcyon “ centres ” of sunny mirth.
Hearty Cruikshank and hapless Dore,
Passed before him, would praise confirm
Dealt to him who has told their story.
How his own has attained its term.
Clean as savour of honest wine is
Every chapter, and friendship, fain
Tearfully to inscribe its Finis,
Lacks not pride to assuage its pain.
NO CHEESEPARINGS !
“And ’ow about the Performers for My Lady’s Concert on Wednes-
day next ? ”
“Oh, it’s all right, Sip. Gorgius ! I’ve got you six First Yiolins,
four Second Yiolins, and-”
“ Second Yiolins be ’anged ! I ’ll ’ave none but First Fiddles per-
forming in my ’Ouse ! ”
Daffodilatory Apology.
In a case of daffodil-stealing heard at the "Woolwich
Police Court the other day, we read the following report
of what the Magistrate said to the Prosecutor, whose
property had been stolen :—
“ Mr. Balguy : Last year when you told me that a few of
these yellow flowers were worth three shillings, I disbelieved
you, but I made inquiries and found that you were right. I
am glad to have the opportunity of apologising.”
It is hard to believe that the magisterial mind should
take a year to find out the value of daffodils. But if the
value had been discovered sooner, we cannot understand
why the apology was not tendered earlier. However, it
is better late than never, and it will probably have the
effect of fixing the market value of daffodils in the
neighbourhood of Abbey Wood.
Pretty Girl’s Version of Pope.—“ Beauty is drawn,
dear, by a Single Heir ! ”
COMPANY MANNERS ; OR, A SOUTH-EASTERN
DIFFICULTY.
The Kent Argus, with its watchful eyes ever open, recently re-
ported how a deputation appointed by the Dover Town Council
interviewed the Joint Committee of the London, Chatham, and
| Dover and South-Eastern lines in order to obtain greater facilities
j of intercommunication between Shorncliffe and Margate.
Mr. J. S. Forbes, the energetic Chairman of the London, Chatham,
: and Dover line, quite agreed with the Deputation, and said that his
Company was in no way responsible, and that he for his part was
j ready to act in the most brotherly way towards Sir Edward
I Watkin’s line, if Sir Watkin would only let him.
j The Deputation wouldn’t he put off by Lord Brabourne, who
| pleaded Sir Watejn’s absence on the Continent as a reason for not
giving an immediate reply, hut declared that if they did not receive
| a definite answer by Thursday the 20th they would appeal to Parlia-
ment.
The present state of the trains “ in correspondence ” between Rams-
gate and. Dover is a most perfect exemplification of “ How not to do
I it with as much show of “ doing it ” as possible,
j distance is something between seventeen and twenty miles.
I j’ut anypne, staying at Ramsgate, and struck by the happy thought
i ot running over to Dover and crossing to Calais and so on to
Boulogne, just “to make a day of it,” returning next morning, will
meet with little encouragement from the two Companies whose lines
are cast in _ such pleasant places, and who might sing with the
Ethiopian minstrel—
“ 0 if we two could agree
What a happy couple we should be ! ”
The J aunty Tourist will naturally reason thus: “lam only seventeen
miles from Dover: there is a direct line: the South-Eastern takes me
from Ramsgate to Deal, the L. C. & D. from Deal to Dover, and as
the L. C. & D.’s boats for Calais start from Dover Pier, evidently
the trains will be so arranged as to enable passengers to catch the
mail boat at 9GO, or the midday boat at 12 ; though, as I am off for
an outing, the 9 GO will he better for me. Let me consult the Time
Table of the two Companies. How convenient! What a sweet thing
it is for Railway Companies to dwell in unity! ” and forthwith he
procures the Time Table. .
First the Joyful Tourist looks for a through train from Ramsgate
to Dover. “ Ah ! ” he exclaims, “ here it is—12‘13—but stop ! ” and
it suddenly occurs to him that, as the second and last boat of the
day leaves Dover at 12, i.e., a quarter of an hour before he starts from
Ramsgate, this won’t do. Evidently the two Companies are of opinion
that no one at Margate or Ramsgate can possibly want to start for
Dover before 11*52 from the one place, and 12G3 from the other, or
could have any kind of object in being in Dover before 1G5, and so
this is the only direct through train in the morning, and 7'50 from
Margate, 8'5 from Ramsgate arriving at Dover 9'36, is the only after-
noon train.
Our Supposed Tourist, being up to his work and being able to pass
a first-class exam, in Bradshaw, is not going to be beaten by such a
difficulty as this, and being determined to get from Ramsgate to
Dover in time for the morning boat at 9'40, he procures the S, E.
Guide and the L. C. & D. Guide, and, like the gentleman who wrote
on “ Chinese metaphysics,” he “combines the information.”