Punch (86.1884)

214 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, [May 3, 1884.

KHARTOUM CARTOONS.

Mr. Punch begs to thank nu-
merous Correspondents for the
suggestion of “ Follice Verso”
as a subject for one of his immor-
tal Cartoons, representing Gordon
down, the Mahdi about to strike,
and only waiting the signal from

--but here they almost all

shirk the difficulty : the few who
do not suggest “the spectators,”
others Britannia, and some the
Ministers, while Tiberius is repre-
sented by the Premier.

At the moment (when these
suggestions arrived) the Mahdi
had not got General Gordon down,
and we sincerely trust that, as
far as he and Khartoum are con-
cerned, that there are sure in-
dications, not of a pollice verso,
but of a “ policy re-verso,” in
fact an entire change of policy;
or, if not, and should anything
happen to the General, then the
Country will adapt the Trelawny
Ballad—

And should brave Gordon die,
And should brave Gordon die,

Ten thousand gallant Englishmen
Will know the reason why !

But ere this appears Mr. Punch
hopes that the Country will have
been satisfied on this point. And
if so—better late than never.

Agony Advertisement.—
Should this meet the eye of the
Gentleman who got into a wrong
train of thought, and was entirely
carried away by it, he is re-
quested to return to himself
immediately.—Address No. One,
Colwell Hatchney College.

Notice.—No. II. of “The
Town,” which was commenced last
week, unavoidably stands over.

SCENE FROM “THE BUDGET; OR, THE HALF-SOVEREIGN
REMEDY.”

Half-Sovereign {to Old Sovereign). “Farewell, my comparatively
worthless, worn-out Parent ! By my death you will be restored to your
pristine vigour—nay, to double vigour ! I sacrifice myself for your
sake ! Farewell for ever ! Childers, I come ! ! ”

[ Jumps into the melting-pot.

DISCLAIMER.

Messrs. Stanford and Gil-
bert a Beckett, Composer and
Librettist of the new Opera,
Savonarola, which has achieved
so great a triumph abroad, wish
to state that the,name of Savon-
arola is not an Advertisement for
any soap. The notion that it was
so, evidently arose from the simi-
larity in costume of the Monastic
hero of this Opera and that of the
two Monks, or Lather-Day Saints,
in the well-known pictorial Ad-
vertisement for a certain soap-
making firm.

Our Royal Visit to the
Royal Institute, Piccadilly.
—AVe had duly received a card
for the Private View of the Pic-
tures now hanging in the galleries
of the Royal Waterworks, Picca-
dilly, and naturally concluded
that, being “Private,” we were

going to have it all to ourselves.

n arriving, last Friday after-
noon, it occurred to us that some-
how the news of onr intended
visitmusthave leaked out through
some water-colour channel of in-
formation, as extra police were on
duty at the doors, and the crowd
was something terrific. Evidently
we were expected, and the Mana-
gers of the Royal Institute have
only themselves to blame for the
great disappointment which must
have been felt by their visitors,—
as the thronging of the people on
the staircase and about the doors
(where it was evidently being ex-
plained to them that the Private
View was intended only for our-
selves) was so great that we were
utterly unable to penetrate beyond
the first landing, from which
coign of ’vantage we bowed to the
enthusiastic populace, and made
the best of our way down again.

JULES’S EGYPT.

{A few French Proposals for the Conference.)

That, although the Conference being held in London, a British
Minister must naturally preside over it, French shall be the only
language spoken, and that language he taken only from a Dictionary
devised by M. Jules Ferry. This ingenious lexicon has precious
gems of philosophy like the following :—“ Interet (Anglais), Spolia-
tion. _ Interet (Framjais), Droit et Honneur. Arabes (d’Alger),
Bandits. Arabes (du Soudan), Patriotes. Tonquin, Gloire. El
Teb, Massacre, honte.”

That the regeneration of Egypt shall be immediately placed in the
hands of Prance, who will at once establish a Mabille at Cairo, and
a Monte-Carlo at Alexandria. Madame Sarah Bernhardt will be
entrusted with the reform of the Harems ; and here her well-known
habits of economy are likely to save the Egyptians several millions
of francs per year; which sum Madame S. B. will engage to devote
entirely to Art—as represented by milliners’ bills and costs in law-
courts.

That Egyptian journalism be entirely conducted by French writers,
profound politicians like Albert Wolff, Jules Valles, Max
O’Rell, being engaged at princely salaries to show the Fellaheen
what progress really is. _ They will he instructed to introduce all
the latest improvements in illustrated journalism which now adorn
the Paris kiosques ; and if they do bring a blush to the cheeks of
passing bayaderes, why, isn’t blushing a peculiarly French skin-
disease, and a good deal better than the cholera annuaRy imported
by the wicked English.

That, in order to avoid all provocations to Egyptians to attack
France, or to Frenchmen to attack anybody (they’d scorn the action ;
but still it’s best to be on the safe side), the English Press be regu-
larly overhauled by M. Jules Ferry, assisted by M. de Blowitz.
All allusions to French matrimonial scandals, to senatorial squabbles,

to colonial aggrandisement, to wholesale criminal exportation, must
be immediately expunged: they might lead even the meek and mild
and neighbourly Press of Paris to retaliate; and then where would
you be, seeing that one Frenchman has more wit than nine English-
men, as a rule ? The Pall Mall Gazette had better be suppressed at
once, or fused with the Debats, under M. John Lemoinne.

That an English Army be sent to subdue the Soudan, and that the
Egyptian revenues he paid over to an impartial Frenchman—say
M. de Lesseps—as trustee for the Fellaheen.

That the French execute all these articles, except in the matter of
expending money or troops.

—

STAGE AND STATE.

The delicate consideration for the feelings of our susceptible
neighbours across the Channel, which inspired the Official, whoever
he may be, who acts as Official Licenser of Plays at Cairo, to put his
veto the other day on a performance of Id on parle Francais, as
“ likely to interfere with the Government’s policy for the regenera-
tion of Egypt,” evidently knows what he is about. Still, the incident
reveals the existence of an unquestionably critical condition of affairs.

To put up, for instance, such an innocent piece of fooling as The
Thumping Legacy, suggestive, as it would be, of the heritage of debt,
about the only substantial thing that Egypt has at the present moment
to bequeath to anybody, would obviously he in the worst taste; while
a performance even of Sox and Cox, inevitably suggesting, as it
would, the Box of Mr. Clifford Lloyd, the Cox of Nubar Pasha,
and the Mrs. Bouncer of Mr. Gladstone, endeavouring to. get them
unconsciously to share the same portfolio, could not but fail to give
offence. But the fact is, the real farce in Egypt just now is the
Government itself; and if Mr. Toole could only be persuaded to go
out and play the principal part himself, there is just a chance it
might enjoy a long run. Downing Street ought to think this over.