Punch (98.1890)

February 1, 1890.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

53

[The Chairman rises to propose the only toast of the evening,
" Success to the Great Actor who is about to leave us for a
short time." The usual speech—reminiscent, anecdotic,
prophetic of tremendous triumphs, mildly humorous,
pathetic.

The Chairman {concluding). Therefore I bid you all charge your
glasses as full of wine as your hearts are full of sympathy, and join

KICKED!

{By the Foot of Clara Oroomleij.)
Chapter II.

I am still at Ryde, and it is still raining. On a day like this, a

me in wishing success To M7a"~7\7----1 "• T"-^ little Ry de goes a £reat ^ No Kyde ^thov-LTam' • °? 1

laurels in i j the Great Man, who is about to cull new ... , <— vie. The young girls at

rJW, ^land. , - l_.< Plumfields sit writing

rZ«n °jppla™e: Immense enthusiasm. The Great Actor a A. -■_. * themes indoors instead of

responas. Me is moved to tears. He assures his friends, ^JL ^ i ) taking their exercise in the

that wherever he may go his heart will ever Urn fondly to /f^S. ' S%t^ - V - open air.

TiffinatoTl^ f-^9-, „ V^^J^T - — JhX''' If this rain keeps on, I

could sneak blftpftif \S C>9Z]- ?ot so ha(L 1 &lwa?s said he ' ^ST^Ifeife- fit sha11 £° to wild Assam

coma speak better than he could act. • . l^JWm££* I again, or to the Goodwin

Friend of r™fPPf,con?ludes-- ^ not been asked to sing. - faWlS^ffl^l Sands. James, the head-

spkndTd ey{ning tsi'tt ^paHm^ to T™GT0N). »a ^M'Wm. T^T' ^,d. m*FT

Tiifinatm, t „,,h; ~ l • , ,- ^ LwfH afe—K^S?— different stories of the

J-Wngton {putting on his coat). Yes. Pretty fair. (To Hall.)' ^f^fff ^Mbl-rfcHB* haunted room of this hotel.

\ TO .\Vffl« - . - -\r«T,o ,vf tliPTYi nre amusing.

Hall. Keep ? Oh, yes, it '11 keep. I '11 make it red-hot for the
lot of 'em, and sing it at Blankbury next year. They won't like
that, I rather think.

Jarp. No, by Gad! {Exeunt omnes.

THE SHREWING OE THE TAME.

Dear Mr. Punch, .,

Mr. F. R. Benson deserves commendation for a new idea.
Shakspeare has been presented in many forms, but the notion ot
giving the Bard without any acting to speak of is a novelty. And
it is not quite certain that it is a mistake. After all, a bad actor is
an infliction, and it is better to have gentlemen who have not spent
centuries in mastering the intricacies of their prof ession than a noisy
personage who tears his passions to atoms. The recent revivals of
A Midsummer Nights Dream and the Taming of the Shrew at the
Globe Theatre show how pleasing Shakspearian representations may
be made, even when their success depends less upon elocution than
scenic effect. The first of these plays was simply delightful, with
its fairy glades and "built-up" temples. The last, too, is well off
for "cloths," pleasingly representing Padua and Verona. The per-
formers (with the exception of Mr. Stephen Phillips, who speaks
his lines with admirable effect) are not so noticeable. One of the
best-played parts in the piece is filled by an actor whose name does
not appear in the programme. He has nothing to do but to cany
off Katherina (Mrs. F. R. Benson), in Sc. 5., Act III., on his back.
That he looks like an ass while doing this goes without saying, but
still he is a valuable addition to the cast. From an announcement
in the programme, it appears that Othello, Hamlet, and the
Merchant of Venice are shortly to be played. It seems at the first
blush a difficult task to pick out of Mr. Benson's present company
a gentleman quite suited to fill the title roles in the two first, and
Shylock in the last. But, no doubt, the Lessee and Manager thinks
the playing of the characters of the Prince of Denmark and the
Moor a matter of minor importance. And, if he does, it may be
&IgSr- 7 ^rom tb-e cordial reception that has been accorded to

£ Midsummer Night's Dream and the Taming of the Shrew, that

ne has an excellent reason for his opinion.

Believe me, yours truly,

One who is Easily Pleased.

or interesting, or have any

thing to do with this tale.

If I were writing a shilling

volume, I should put them

in by way of padding. As

it is, they may go out. I

too will go out.

# # * *

I have seen" Mile. Don-
nerwetter. Shewasracing
along on the pier, and I was pacing along in the rear. I saw her and
caught her up. I hastily pressed all the valuables that I had with
me—four postage-stamps and an unserviceable watch-key—into her
hand, and entreated her to give me an interview with Miss Smith.

''Me muchee want to oblige English Sahib," she said, in her pul-
verised English, " but ze Effendina—ze what you call'ead-mistress,
French lady like myself—she no like it. She give me the bottine, if
I let great buckra massa talk to Fraulein Smeets. But lookee—I
give you straight tip. Miss Smeets is on ze pier now—you write
note—slip it in her hand. I wink ze eyebrow. I have a grand envy
to oblige the English Signor. Ah! Bismillah! Quelle alouette /"

She is French, very French, but she has a kind heart. I hurriedly
wrote a few impassioned words on my left cuff, and folded it into a
three-cornered note. I dropped it down Miss SMEEl'sneck as I found
her leaning over the side of the pier, and then ran away, I heard
her murmur, " Someone's mistaken me for the post-office."

It is still raining, but I am quite happy. I have seen her again,
and I feel that she loves me. It was impossible to mistake the
tendresse with which she murmured, "post-office." In my little
note I requested her to send a reply to this hotel. I have asked her
to tell me plainly what her income is, and to state on what conditions
she will forfeit it. Of course, she has no income now, as she is a
minor, but I would wait a year or two for a certainty. Shall I write
her some verses—lines to a minor, or thoughts on the Southampton
quay ? Perhaps I had better wait until I obtain the statistics. Ah,
here is James, bringing me a note. It must be from my darling—
no, it is from Mademoiselle.

Dear Sir,—Miss Smith am going away to Londres. A telegram
come for her, and I look over the shoulder. It say, ' Poor Tommy's
kicked! Come at once,' Miss Smith make the tears.

Tours, Lucia Donnerwetter.

Sir . HOW TO MEET IT.

sus?e'sHno-aImE.5ead aU the letters that have appeared in the papers
perhaps a little nT1* lor the Prevailing epidemic, I have got,
^ursfasfar asT ° USe<^; but' 011 the wnole- the following is the
on findin- oneself th™TlkeJouKtnat {t would be Prudeilt to Pursue
Immediately It inT^ atened Wlth any of the well-known symptoms.
can po8slbli\gP»r^t0^warnl bath several degrees hotter thafi you
your Ci l inljl' then^et 01lt again. Now go to bed, send for
S hour half » *ltor: and make will, meantime trying every
mentffi 'tumbler or so of any patent medicine the advertise-
givehis ™t» °T t0xyotl- CaU iA a homoeopathic doctor, and
your ownTSr1 ? tUTn Wand-twenty hours; then send for
staiLow* medical man. Take care that they do not meet on the
eightTaJi fe anytllmS:.and everything he gives you for the next
tumble™JT?Tt7 h9uris> mterspersing his prescriptions with frequent
down at +vT and steaming ammoniated quinine-and-water, getting
mince nil Same tlme more beef tea, oysters, champagne, muffins,
eir^Fi8' o^ges, nuts, and whiskey than, under ordinary

caw'iSuretobeaU risht, fori have got every item of it from a
rZ.A Perusal of those infallible guides and direotors in all
modern difficulties and doubts, The Daily Papers.

I must be off to London and get this matter traced. James entreats
me to buy a new hat when I am away. He says it's bringing dis-
grace on the hotel, and keeping away custom. "What! Give up the
hat which her dear foot has kicked! Never! But, perhaps, 1 will
have it ironed. The iron has entered into my soul, and perhaps, it
would be doing more good on my hat. Yes, I will have it ironed.
It does look a little limp. Ironed or starched—what matter, when
my darling is gone, and left me with no information as to her income ?
{To be concluded in Two more Chapters.)

"Venice Preserved" in The Haymarket.
No—not Otway's tragedy, and not under Mr. Beerbohm Tree's
management, but at the Gallery next door to the Theatre, and under
the superintendence of Mr. McLean, you will find not only Venice,
but Florence, Prague, Heidelberg, Capri, Augsburg, Nuremburg,
Innsbruck, and a good many other picturesque places, preserved in
about a hundred water-colour drawings, by Mr. Edward H. Bearne.
If there were not so many rivers and lagoons in the exhibition, it
might be called the " Bearnese Oberland." These piotures are well
painted, and, during the gruesome weather, a tiny tour round this
sunny gallery is mighty refreshing.

Study for the Pelican Club.—The "Logic and Principles of Mill."