Punch: Punch (33.1857)

August 8, 1857.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

59

over the loss of their respected friend, who had done so much for
France, and had died in serving her. The toast was drunk in solemn
silence.

The English Press was responded to by the Editor of Bradshaw's
Guide. We expected to hear from him a very confused speech, divided
into three trains, and bristling with figures, from which you would not
be able to make out arrival, or departure,—neither beginning, middle,
nor end. However, we were agreeably disappointed, for he gravely
began with " My name is Norval," and recited that exciting speech
at full lengtn. As not a Frenchman present understood a word of
English, the speech had the happiest effect. The eloquent orator put
his hand every now and then upon his breast, gesticulated largely, and,
in due course, was vehemently applauded.

To wind up :—we must say we enjoyed our trip to Dieppe mightily,
and beg to thank all, from the Mayor down to the Steward, each of
whom was polite enough to put his bassin at our disposal. The same
pleasure is open to all who like to make the same trip. Henceforth,
England numbers one watering-place the more. Even the statue of
Duquesne, wh£ figures in the Place Royale in the melodramatic
attitude of a pirate of the Ambigu, relaxed a little in its nautical
ferocity, and we fancied a smile came over his bronzed features as he
quietly surveyed the invasion of the English, ransacking every hotel
for something to eat. Dieppe, through Newhaven, is now only seven
hours' distance from London. Let Ramsgate look to its bathing!
We should advise Boulogne to put its seedy old etablissement into
better order. Dieppe, thanks to the Empress, has risen, like a second
Venus from the sea!

A STAND UP FOE THE STUMPS.
Br Bowles, Senior.

Sir, I am one of the old school,
Perhaps you '11 say that means a fool:
I don't care sixpence if you do;
And shall reply—The same to you!

Sir, you must know that I've a brat
Of a young nephew. What of that ?
Well, Sir ; I am his guardian too :
He has his studies to pursue.

To school I did at first intend
This youthful charge of mine to send
At Eton or at Winchester,
Uncertain which I should prefer.

Of neither, Sir, at present, I
Approve : and let me tell you why ;
At both they 're changing that old plan
Which bred a boy to be a man.

The Masters have, I grieve to say,

Of late forbidden manly play;

The cricket-matches, heretofore

At Lord's Grounds played, must be no more.

Discouraging a noble game
Is just the way to make boys tame.
And in the holidays !—why, what
Bight then to meddle have they got ?

Let lads play cricket—let them box,
That system gave us Pitt and Eox,
The Duke op Wellington, and Peel,
The mind such contests nerve and steel.

Sir, I won't have my Sister's child
Taught to be spoony, meek, and mild.
No, I wish that young dog, by rough
Amusements, rendered hard and tough.

Train up a child as he should go;
Not as a milksop: no, Sir, no !
As for my chap, I rather would
See him a pickle, than too good.

A schoolmaster's good boy turns out
A humbug, mostly, or a lout.
In after life you don't see such
A sort of fellow come to much.

The spirit of restraint that aims
At checking hardy sports and games,
A bias shows to certain views,
The most pernicious to infuse.

All true religion I respect,
But to wild notions do object;
Your Pusey, Irving, Mormonites,
Your Popery and all new lights.

Instead of which, I would instil
Determination and firm will,
With good old cricket, and I won't
Support that School whose Masters don't.

BBITISH APT AND FRENCH HORSEFLESH.

The Goodwood Cup has been actually won by a French horse!
Monarque has covered himself and France with glory. What next ?
We shall have a French poodle beating a British Billy in the
destruction of rats, and who can say that some Gallic champion may
not some day crop the laurels of the Tipton Slasher.

The " Cup " is decorated with two medallions representing scenes
from the Midsummer Night's Dream. More appropriate embellish-
ments might have been derived from Richard the Third. One of them
would of course have been the battle scene, wherein the desperate
usurper makes the celebrated offer of his kingdom for a horse, and the
other that in which the Dulce of Norfolk apprizes Richard of the no
less celebrated warning which has been addressed to him with the
appellation of "Jockey."

Reverting to the subject of Mo?iarque, we would congratulate that
successful animal on the superiority of the destiny which awaits him
in his native land to that which is here usually reserved for the " high-
mettled racer." Monarque never will go to the hounds • the Parisian
love of horseflesh will prevent that: he will have admirers who will
be fond of his very remains, and when he dies he will go to M. 1 sldore
de Saint-Hilaire and the hippophagists.

Here a War, There a War.

To John Bull, Esq.

Here a War, there a War, wondering Johnny,
When you've done wondering, pay for the game :

Come, teil us frankly, you, John, think it dear, eh ?
Punch must inform you that he thinks the same.

Well, and Why Not?

Mr. Whiteside—who appears to have a peculiar talent for seeing
the dark side of every liberal proposition—declares Lord John Rus-
sell's Oaths Amendment Bill to be "the most unprecedented and
unconstitutional" of all measures ever submitted to Parliament,
because, " if it is carried, the House of Commons will be able to admit
a Jew; but, if it change its mind, will be at liberty to reject him."

Mr. Whiteside prefers the present plan, by which, when the
Country and the Commons wish to admit a Jew to the House, the
Lords " are at liberty to reject him."