Punch: Punch (33.1857)

122

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [September 19, 1857.

THE BEARD MOVEMENT.

" Hollo. 'Enery ! Is that You 1 Why, I hardly know'd Yer with that

Great Beard!"

SMITH THE POET.

All readers of poetry must he deeply indebted to the Athenaeum for its elaborate
exposure of the plagiarisms of Mr. Alexander, Smith. The noble perseverance
with which every phrase of Mr. Smith's has been overhauled, and the stores of
collected and recollected learning, which have been adduced to demonstrate the
bard's want of originality, are unprecedented in the annals of the literary police.
Mr. Smith is left without the faintest rag of reputation, and for our own part,
thanks to the Athenaeum we do not believe that be is capable of uttering the
humblest sentiment of ordinary life without borrowing both thought and words from
some predecessor.

We are firmly convinced that if he bad to desire a domestic to unfasten
one of his—Smith's—boots, he would steal his expression from Shakspeare,
and say, " Undo this button" {K. Lear. Act V.. Scene III.). It is almost
supererogation to help a case so clearly made out, but, as in the course of
Mr. Punch's own reading, he has chanced to light upon a few passages which
Mr. Smith has appropriated, and which have escaped bis reviewer, Mr. Punch
will complete the good work by subjoining them.

The plagiarisms, in the following cases, are even more apparent than the
majority of those exposed by the Athenaeum, and have the additional feature
of being the fruit of plunder from books which it is rather probable Mr. Smith
may have seen, and not from antiquated and forgotten rubbish, which in all
likelihood he never came across, and which nobody but a bookworm, with a
motive, is ever likely to come across twice. At the same time, Mr. Punch
assures Mr. Smith that this exposure is made in all kindness of feeling, and in the
earnest hope that by proving to a young poet that he is utterly without merit
of any kind, he may be excited to cultivate his genius, prune his irregularities,
and emulate the Immortals.

In Mr. Smith's City Poems, he says,

" And bees are busy in the yellow hive."
What says Dr. Watts ?

"How doth the busy, busy bee''
Mr. Smith.

" The age demands her hero."
Lord Byron.

" f want a hero, an uncommon want."

Mr. Smith.

"And these be my last words."
Sir Walter Scott.

" Were the last words of Marmion."
Mr. Smith.

" A sigh and curse together."
Sir Walter Scott.

" And draws his last sob by the side of his dam."
Mr. Smith.

" Night, and the moon above."
Latin Delectus.

" Nox erat, lunaque fulgebat."
Mr. Smith.

"Earth gives her slow consent"
Old Hundredth Psalm.

"With one consent let all the Earth."
Mr. Smith.

"And islands in the lustrous Grecian seas."
Lord Byron.

" The Isles of Greece, the Isles of Greece."
Mr. Smith.

" Be hers long years of happiness and peace,
The Sovereign of our heart."
National Anthem.

" Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us,

God save the Queen."

Mr. Smith.

" The breeze is prosperous, mark the swelling sail.'*

Mrs. Barney Williams.

" The wind it is ready, and the sail it is set."
Mr. Smith.

"Each star that twinkling in the sky."
Original Poems for Infant Minds.

" Twin/cle, twinkle, little star"
Mr. Smith.

" I look not forward unto darker days"
Dr. Charles Mackay.

"There's a good time coming, boys."
Mr. Smith.

" Now, sound trumpets"
Alfred Tennyson.

"Blow, bugles, blow, set the wild echoes flying."
Mr. Smith.

" Cradled on yonder lofty pine."
Nursery Song.

"Hush-a-by baby, on the tree top,

When the wind blows the cradle will rock."
Mr. Smith.

"No character that servant-woman asked."

Pope.

"Most women have no characters at all."

But enough. The same process by which the Athenaeum
has been enabled to accumulate proofs of Mr. Smith's
dishonesty would equally aid Mr. Punch, but the work has
now been done by the Twin Critics—done, too, in kindred
spirit, and the public, despite its weak admiration for Mr.
Alexander Smith's freshness, pathos, and vigour, may
take the solemn assurance of the Athenaeum and of Punch,
that there is no single word in all Mr. Smith's poetry
that has not been previously used by somebody else.

POISONING BY MISTAKE MADE EASY.

A Chemist and Druggist makes the following offer of'
terms for the services of an assistant:—

" Two hours allowed every morning, occasionally in on Sunday
evening, in the shop at seven and out of it at ten at night, and to make
yourself generally useful as a Druggist's Assistant, for which services
for the three months you will receive five pounds salary and your
Parliamentary fare to London if business is not sufficient to require
your services for a longer period."

No doubt, if our friend the chemist and druggist can
get a competent assistant at the terms above offered he
has a right to do so. But suppose that the_ labour is
not skilled—the assistant not competent. Tincture of
opium is put up by mistake for black dose, or muriate of
morphine for sulphate of quinine; and somebody is poisoned.
In such a case, the verdict of the coroner's jury surely
ought to be manslaughter against the chemist and druggist
for employing an assistant whom he could not expect to
be qualified for a situation accepted at beggarly terms—
like those above instanced.