Punch: Punch (33.1857)

138

[October 3, 1857.

HUSBANDMEN AND LOVERS.

N Tuesday last week a
well-deserved testimo-
nial was presented to
our civic Triptole-
mtjs, the worthy Mr.
Sheriff Mechi, by a
number of his friends
and admirers, at the
London Tavern. Of
course the testimonial
involved a dinner, after
which speeches were
made and toasts pro-
posed, the latter fol-
lowed by songs sup-
posed to be appropri-
ate. For instance, when
the company had drunk
the health of the
Prince Consort,
Miss Piccolomini is
reported to have sung,
" No, he never loved
me." We should like,
however, to know in
what the appropriate-
ness of the songs to
the toasts consisted,
taking this as afford-
ing a specimen of it.
Whom did Piccolo-
mini represent. She

never could have been such an impudent little puss as to sing such _ a ballad as that
off her own hook. We can only surmise that she was, on the occasion, the represen-
tative of Agriculture, considered as a nymph of whom the Prince may, without impro-
priety, be said to be, because he notoriously is, passionately fond, and who may be j You '11 soon lose that delicate pallor-
imagined to express a sense of the honour of being beloved by his Royal Highness in a strain Exercise bronzes the cheek;
affectionately ironical. " He never loved me—oh no !—didn't he rather ?—didn't he though ?" , You '11 be New Patterns of valour,
Piccolomin'i's song may be considered as the equivalent to saying; the reply suggested Though perchance you may look " more
being similar to that conceived to be expected by a filial young vocalist when he obliges his
sentimental companions and playmates with " Oh, don't I love my Mother!" The passion
imputed, on this supposition, to the Prince Consort might be frankly avowed by him at
Balmoral, on the one hand; and, on the other, need occasion not the least jealousy on the
part of Mr. Mechi, although that gentleman's affections are fixed on the same interesting
object as those of the Prince.

DRUMMING FOR THE DRAPERS.

REVERSING THE ORDER OE MEMBERS.

Mr. Bright has been setting an example worthy of his name, in writing, to somebody
who pestered him with a request for a subscription to a bazaar in support of a Presbyterian
church at Birmingham, a letter; whereof the following lines are part:—

" Since i Lave been in Parliament i have always abstained from subscriptions for objects connected with
the constituency i represented, and i intend to continue that course. a contrary course would lead me into
an expenditure which i could not consent to with any prudence, and might lead to an endeavour to secure
public favour by means which i cannot practise or approve."

Hear, hear ! To ask a member, as member, to subscribe for the local objects of his
constituents, is to ask a public servant to remunerate the public for serving it. You might as
well make the same request to a private domestic, and solicit your man John, who cleans
your boots, to contribute towards the papering of your rooms. If you thought fit to
enlarge and stock your cellar, you might, with equal reason, and as much dignity, apply to
your butler for assistance in paying your bricklayer's bill and that of your wine-merchant.
It would not be a bit less cool of you to call on your maid-of-all-work for a donation to aid you
in sending your son to college. That is, always supposing, of course, that your public
servant is to be really your servant, and not, on the contrary, your lord and master • your
proprietor who buys you with subsidies and contributions, in order that he may sell you
tor patronage, or may exert the power, which you give him as the consideration for his
largess, in some other way to gain his private ends. Electors who expect to get money out
of their members should chalk up " To Be Sold," and not adorn the walls with such mottoes
as "Reform" and "Economy." Indeed, instead of importuning their political servants
for gratuities and Christmas-boxes, constituents should, if they want to be well and
zealously served, occasionally themselves give their representative John Thomases a "tip."

Over the counter, my Skippers

Spurn the effeminate shop,
Kick off the carpeted slippers,

And the cheating yard-measure let drop.
Sergeants are busy recruiting,

England invites volunteers ;
Surely you'd better be shooting

Sepoys, than shaving our dears.

Shove on his back in the kennel

The shop-walker, bully and smirk,
Tell him you're cutting the "flennel "

For manly and masculine work.
At fighting you mean to be gluttons,

Though your faces are white as new wax;
You know that you've souls, above buttons,

To drill button-holes in the blacks.

Make shortish work with the niggers,

See how they'd scuttle and squeal,
When you " put in at very low figures,"

A foot and a half of good steel.
They never knew yet what our hate meant,

Your bayonets, by jingo, shall show'm,
When, heroes, you "make no abatement,"

But " send every article home."

Future Macaulays and Gibbons

Shall rescue your memory from loss,
And tell how the vendors of ribbons,

Won, gallantly, ribbon and cross.
How each, to yon shelves once a mounter,

Mounted breaches, regardless of height,
And never bore silks to a counter

More quick than those colours to fight.

antique.'

Contrast with such work as your trade is,
(Diddles, and dodges, and bilks)

Your march, on return, and the Ladies
Adoring your noble shot silks.

Right soon will the enemies know you,

As your war-cry goes higher and higher—
" What's the next thing we can show you ? "

Then show them how Britons give fire.
Your charge (you can charge) be the Nemesis,

No need of Ghoorkas or Sikhs :
We '11 write upon Delhi, " These Premises

HORSE EXERCISE.

VELL, YY NOT, MY TEAR?

One of the organs of the English Jews bursts into a frenzy of gratitude to one of the
penny papers for a curious favour. In police-case reports, where a Jew has been the culprit,
the penny paper in question " is generous enough not to designate the persuasion of the
offender" —to name merely Abimelech Nebuchadnezzar, without adding "a Hebrew
dealer in marine stores," or as the case may be. This is gratefully recorded as a new step in
the course of liberality. Well, but if Jews wish to appear in courts of justice as Christians,
why can't they come in the same character into the high court of Parliament ?

An Indian officer, writing from Dinapore,
and complaining of the inefficiency of a certain
General, who has been fifty years in the service,
and whose bodily infirmities totally incapaci-
tate him for command, says :—

"Surely it is high time for any field officer to retire
when he requires help to be put on and taken off his horse ?"

It must be a pleasantry, or a mistake, to call
an invalid like that a field officer ! If he belongs
to one, it should be a field at the back of a hos-
pital, where, in the event of an accident, he
would be able to meet with prompt assistance.
The only Champ de Mars for one so infirm ought
be the field in front of the Hotel des Invalides ; for
it would not be agreeable to hear of a com-
mander taking the field at the head of an army in
a perambulator ! It must not be supposed we
are laughing at this officer's infirmities. On the
contrary, we mean to say, that so old a veteran
fully deserves a lift; and, if his name was put on
the pension list; we should be extremely rejoiced,
for the safety of all, to hear of it; for it would
undoubtedly be the best reward for one, who,
during a period of fifty years, has apparently
served his country so well, " on and off."