Punch: Punch (33.1857)

December 12, 1857.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

hursday, 3rd December,
1857. Uncle Sam
called the Britishers'
Congress together. Yes,
siree ! We will explain
presently.

To-day Her Majesty
" opened Parliament,"
as the newspapers .say,
talking of Parliament as
if it were an oyster, to
be opened for its pearls
of wisdom. The Royal
Speech was singularly
ungrammatical, which

Lord Mercator (Overstone) was for letting everybody go to ruin
or not, just as might happen, provided his system were adhered to.
Heaps of people might smash, but the storm would clear the air.
Lord Eglintoun took a less philosophical and more merciful view.
Lord Monteagle then rose, and of course we went away.

Be it recorded that Lord Macatjlay took the oaths and his seat.
Lord Puhch had thoughts of introducing his friend, but Lord Camp-
bell, who fancies himself a kind of historian (Miss Strickland
concurring), was desirous to do so, and Lord Punch goodnaturedly
gave way. The other godfather was Lord Belper (ne Strdtt), who
was good enough to remain awake long enough to see Lord Macatjlay
through the oaths, for what will not friendship do ?

In the Commons, Mr. Wykeham Martin (in clothes he looked
uncommon smart in) moved the Address, but Mr. Akroyd, of Hudders-
field, was rather an Irish kind of second, and took a shot at his
principal. Of manufacturers' distress, Mr. Akroyd by no means
spoke in the easy hopeful way befitting an echo, but as one who had
seen and sympathised. Mr. Disraeli then helped the House, very

was oi course not the fault of the Queen,; who is bound by the Con- j agreeably, through a considerable portion of the evening, and fired off
stitution to accept Lord Palmerston's false concords and Lord j some neat epigrams anci nicknames. His success was in part attribut-
Panmure's rum relatives (Dowb included), nor was the objectionable j able to his having had all the preceding evening to study the Speech,
English to be charged to^the Minister Secjetary,^who^drew^up^ the j and get up impromptus against it. For he and Lord Derby gave no

' dinners, but while the Ministers (like the English at Hastings), passed
the eve of battle in songs and feasting, the Opposition (like the
Normans), spent it in religious exercises. Copies of the Speech were
duly and courteously sent by Ministers, as usual, to the hostile leaders,
but there were no Tory dinner-parties to discuss the manifesto. So a
better harangue was got out of Dizzy than if he had been asked by
Walpole, Henley, and such like " to stick that, (meaning the other's
last dinner-table stupidity) into his speech." Mr. D. begged hard to
have the Reform Bill at once, but Pam laughed, and told him that he
would, P. hoped, spend his Christmas more pleasantly than in culinary
experiments upon the Ministerial goose.

Friday. Lord Shaftesbury proposing a plan for preventing paro-
chial parsons from prohibiting promiscuous preaching in their parishes
[the writer is open to an engagement for composing any Christmas
play-bill] was furiously assailed by Samuel of the Stalwart Legs, who
actually charged him with "indecency." Lord Granville thought
such language rather objectionable. Lord Ellenborough gave
notice of an elephantine charge upon the Government in the matter of
India, and if disagreeable things can be said on the subject, Mr. Punch
lias every confidence in Ellenborough's saying them.

Mr. Monckton Milnes demanded to know what was to be done
with those Cives Romani, the English engineers in the foul keeping of
King Bomba. Lord Palmerston did not seem to think ^'that they
had much to complain of now (a significant word) and said that we
could not prevent their being tried by Neapolitan law. We only hope
that he has given orders to our nearest Admiral that they shall not be
found guilty.

We incline to think that a certain Cat then looked, if she did not
leap, out of a certain Bag.

Mr. Packe, Conservative member for S. Leicestershire, said on the
report of the Address, that the Speech from the Throne promised no
Reform Bill. The words were—

" Your attention will be called to the laws which, regulate the representation of
the people in Parliament, with a view to consider what amendments may be safely
and beneficially made tbtrein."

This vague intimation Mr. Packe contrasted with the language

Speech, which was spoiled by the interlineations of such Members of
the Cabinet as the Premier would allow to see the document. Eor
instance, the first paragraph halts thus : —

" Circumstances have recently arisen connected with the commercial interests of
the country, which have induced me to call Parliament together before the usual
time."

The Queen, when left to herself, always knows and expresses her
own mind, and would not have left it in doubt whether it were the
"circumstances" or the "interests" which induced her to summon
Parliament. The Secretary had written:—

" I have been indued by circumstances, &c."

But Lord Cranworth made such a fuss about beginning with what
he called a good long word, that he was allowed to make the above
mull, thereby disloyally assimilating the Queen's style to his own.
However, the matter is not of much consequence.
The Speech referred to the following subjects :—

Suspension of the Bank Act.
Manufacturers' distress-
India, and our Heroes.
Indian affairs generally.
Peace in Europe.
Evacuation of Herat.
Estimates.

Parliamentary Reform.

Property and Criminal Law Reform.

Wi»dom of Her Majesty's audience.

The ceremony was made interesting by the introduction of a little
sentiment into it. The Royal young lovers, Prince Frederick and our
Princess were present (by the way, Mr. Punch begs to thank Frederick
for his handsome gift of £1G0 to the Indian fund) and the people along
the line of procession and elsewhere were quite enthusiastic at the
sight of the illustrious couple. In other respects, everything was
much as usual.

The debates on the Address occupied the Lords until 11, and the
Commons until 7'45. Lord Portman and Lord Carew were the

echoes in the Upper House, and Lord Derby, of course, cavilled at of the Speech, when Bills ready for production were spoken of.

nearly every point in the Address, and gave it his cordial vote. The " Measures will be submitted for your consideration." He expounded

orator was really eloquent on the deeds of our soldiers in India, and that the Ministerial statement meant anything or nothing-perhaps a

amusingly sarcastic on the general misdoings of Ministers. He gave a Committee to consider whether any and what reforms were wanted

good poke at Lokd Palmerston for his declaration, at the Mayor's
dinner, that we were ready to fight anybody in Europe; the fact being
that, according to Lord Palmerston himself, there was nobody in
Europe who had the least idea of fighting us. [By the way, it was
unlucky that a police case, in which "John Palmerston," charged
with firing a pistol in the middle of the night, near the Monument, urged
that it was quite an aimless demonstration, had not occurred, to help
Lord Derby to a capital hit.] The Earl wanted to know what
had become of China, and whether, as threatened last year, we had
broken her up as Mr. Quilp, shipbreaker, broke his ships, namely, so
very small that nothing could be seen of her? He walked into the
unfortunate Canning and the Indian Government, and was not much
more civil to the Government nt home. He was for a discriminating but
tremendous vengeance on the Indian miscreants, for whom killing was
too good, and a long life of humiliations and labour in chains would be
a fitter punishment. Finally, he laughed at Lord Palmerston, the
Great Reformer, who was now roaring for reform "like a sucking-
dove," and the Earl affected to want to see the Reform Bill as soon as
possible. To him Granville, who had not much to say, except
that t he Bank Act was not to be altered, but that an Indemnity was to
betaken, and the subject referred to a Commii tee. This intimation
incensed Lord Grey, who thought that an Act whicli had to be
suspended whenever its stringency was inconvenient was a nullity.

If there were a Bill, it ought to be produced at once; and if it were
not produced at once, but late, the Conservatives were not to be
blamed should they refuse to consider it, except with due leisure.

Here every one of Mr. Punch's masculine readers will be kind
enough to raise his forefinger, lay it to the side of his nose, wink, and
then resume his usual gentlemanly behaviour. There are exigencies
when the rules of politeness may be suspended, like those of
the Bank.

Sir Cornewall Lewis, Chancellor of the Exchequer, then spoke
for about two hours. In two minutes, anybody, with Mr. Punch's aid,
shall be master of the harangue. Peel's Act of 1844 was not intended
as a panacea, but ordy to stop paper and panics. This last crisis had
nothing to do with the Bank of England, but was the result of Ameri-
can Derangement, whicli had operated to make necessary a Suspension
of the Act, and a meeting of Parliament to indemnify the suspenders.
The smashed banks had gone, not on account of their notes, but of
other liabilities, out of their legitimate line. Lord Palmerston
having given leave, the Bank clerks were set to carry Two Millions
out of the cellar into the parlour of the Bank, and the money
was put into the big wine-cooler, to be ready, but the public had
called for nothing like the amount. Sir C. asked for an Indemnity,
and a Select Committee to inquire into the whole question. Mr.
Gladstone saw no sense in an inquiry which would come to