Punch (37.1859)

September 24, 1859.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 125

PENAL SHIRT-MAKING.

Can anyone have forgotten the Sony of the Shirt, which—as every-
body should know—was first printed in these columns? Here is a
case to bring that canticle to mind: a ease brought the other day
before the Hammersmith Police Court:—

“ Emily Dawes, an attenuated and sickly-looking woman, living at Key’s Terrace,
Hammersmith, was placed in the dock before Mr. Paynter charged with illegally
pawning several soldiers’ shirts which had been given to her to make up.

“ Mr. Martin said he appeared on behalf of the prosecutor, who was the sub-
contractor for the making of military clothing under the contractor to the Govern-
ment, and he did so with great pain, as he believed the offence had been committed
through the paltry pittance which was allowed for making up of shirts for soldiers
and sailors. ITis client received 5s. dd. a dozen for the making of the shirts, and he
employed women, who worked at them for 4s. 6ci a dozen, so that he had only a
profit of Is. a dozen. During the last few weeks his client had lost 20 dozen of
shirts which had been given him to be made up, and according to his contract he
was compelled to make them all good. He was therefore obliged, although reluc-
tantly, to press the charge against the prisoner.”

A profit of “only” one shilling on an outlay of four and sixpence, is
at the rate of more than 25 per cent. Tradespeople whose business
brings them “only” this per-eent.age, can afford to lose a part of it by
the pilferings and losses which are and ever wiil be incidental to such
trades. We therefore cannot pump much pity up for any sub-contrac-
tor who may chance to have been robbed of twenty dozen of his shirts.
The sympathy we feel is for the victims of this system of sub-sub-sub-
contracting, which so “sicklies” and “attenuates ” the poor folk who
do the work. As the Magistrate remarked: —

“ These contracts often passed through many more hands than Mr. Martin had
mentioned in this case. He then asked if the women had to find their own thread
in making up the shirts at 4s. Qd. a dozen.

“Mr. Martin said they had. He also said that, the shirts were made for the
Government at la. IOcZ. each.”

The thread which women have to find, when making shirts at the
starvation price of four-and-sixpence per dozen, is not alone the thread
which the linen-draper sells them. Life hangs by a thread, and ’tis the
thread of their own lives which they so often quite use up, or cut short
in the process. But it is no good talking sentiment. The question is
if something can’t be done, and that at once, to stop the strain upon
I this thread which in so many sicklied shirt-stitchers is so fast wearing
out. On this point hear a man who is entitled to a hearing;—

“ Mr. Paynter said it was a melancholy case, and he was afraid there was no
cvj-e for it. They could not think of regulating the labour market to prevent what
was called ‘ sweating,’ but lie thought the public would be much benefitted if that
kind of work was made up in prisons. 'It was the right employment, and succeeded
very weli in the German prisons and the other parts of the Continent. He had
pressed those views upon the authorities, but they met with strong objections. He
sentenced the prisoner to pay Is. 10rf., the value of the shirt, and a file of 20s., or
14 days’ imprisonment.

“ The prisoner was locked up in default.”

What the “strong objections” were, we are curious to know. Very
possibly the knowledge might convince us of their strength; but we
own that in our ignorance we think that penal shirtmaking would
prove a most effective and deterring form of punishment. We cannot
help opining that our gaols would he less popular, were our criminals
to be sentenced to learn sewing and make shirts; being dieted the
while with the same amount of food as our poor starving sempstresses
are able to afford themselves. Perhaps this might not wholly “ cure,”
but it would certainly, we think, reduce the sweating system; which
i he Government should do its best to throw cold water on, instead of
fostering and fomenting, as seems now to be the case, renal shirt-
making would be more useful work than crank-turning; and if worthy
Mr. Paynter’s views were rightly carried out, our soldiers would no
longer be of those of whom ’tis said—

“ It is not linen you’re wearing out,

But human creatures’ lives.”

PRETTY PIGS.

“ Mr. Punch,

“If you’ll look into the Builder o’ last wake, you’ll vind
there’s an interestun article in un about ‘Pigs’ and ‘Whistles.’ A
chap, one Mr. H. N. Sealey, as zims to be a cleverisli zort of a feller,
read a peaper tother day at a meetin’ o’ the Zummerzet Harkalogical
’Ziety on the word Pig. Well,—there, ’tis too much of a preamble to
quoat the hole; but the long and short on’t is, that ‘Whistle’ manes
‘ Wassail,’ and that ‘Pig’s’ short for ‘Piga,’ which is Hangler-Zaxon
for a maaid. I never knowed afore that Pig and Gal was zo near akin.
Weil, there, they he boath on ’em good creturs in their proper places,
—which is raytiier different, I ’ll allow ; and then there’s another
difference ’tween a zow and a young ooman, which I s’pose I needn’t
hardly pint out to you,—that is to say, the more score a zow is the
better; but, as for the tother, one score is enough for she, and if so be
they runs to as much as a score and a half, ’tis a thousand pities but
what, they hides there. Zo a good many on ’em do, if you can take
their word for it,—stops short at that pint by their own account, never
gits beyond it, and don’t ha’ no more birthdays arter that. Yet, there
he 1 hem as mounts up to as many as dree score and ten,—ah! and

vower score, and zum even owns to’t; but by that time, and long
afore, they sases to be Pigs, takun Pig as another word for a gal,
unless you may call a old gal a old Pig , and I wishes uu joy, whoever
has got to keep sitcli pigs as they.

“ I be, Mr. Bunch, your obajent sarvaut to command,

“ Washbourne, Sept., 1859. “ Solomon Chaw.”

“P.S. Now I thinks on’t, gals is remarkibul for screemun and
squallun. ’Tis curious, that pigs is celebrated fur squeakun, which is
music iu the same key. Old wimmun, on t’other hand, is likewise
uncommon apt to grunt. P’raps these here facts explains why ’tis that
pigs is a sart o’ neamsakes to faymale Christians.”

THE FRENZIED FRIENDS! A TALE OF TERROR!

Said Smith to Snooks, “My Snooks, what makes you look so
serious ? ”

_Said Snooks to Smith, “My friend, I have a silent sorrow here”—
giving a big thump upon his well filled waistcoat.

“A sorrow? and you silent ? Pooh, pooh, don’t he foolish. ‘Give
sorrow words: the grief that does not speak,’ goes and bursts its
boiler, or does something quite as dreadful. Come, tell me what’s
the matter. Say. Has Angelina flirted ? Have you been and
dropped your door-key ? Have you done a little bill, and has the hill
returned the compliment ? Has your uncle Ciuesus cut yon ? Have
you smashed your favourite cutty? Have you been drinking some

Catawba? Have you got the stomach-ache? Have you-”

“ Peace, friend, and I will tell you,” sighed the wretched Snooks.
“ A far worse fate than these is that which hath befallen me. Know
that I this morning have met the miscreant Jones, and lie hath as
usual asked me a—c—co—”

“Speak, wretched one!” gasped Smith. “ Say, was it a conundrum ? ”
“Alas, yes!” groaned the other. “An unutterable conundrum;
one that would have palsied any lips hut Jones’s; one that like a
poison-shaft still rankles in my breast, and grieves me to the heart’s
core to reflect on man’s depravity.”

“ Out with it then, my Snooks. ’Twill ease your mind to tell it me.
I am robust in health. You need not fear my fainting.”

Moved by his friend’s appeal, poor Snooks, in a low voice, made
this terrific revelation :—

“ Why is the Earl of Shaftesbury not unlike Nana Sahib?”

“ Because he is a person who is vile and tropical.”

A pause of just ten minutes and three seconds for reflection.

“ Well, where’s the joke ? ” gasped Smith.

“There, I knew you wouldn’t see it. I can’t tell jokes as Jones
can. Would you believe it, my dear boy, the wretch pronounced
those three last words so as to sound like ‘ philanthropical! ’ ”