Punch: Punch (60.1871)

10 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [January 7, 1871.

"OUR NEW HERALDRY IS-HANDS."

First Horseman (mounted). " Hullo, Maggits, you have got a Tall One now! "

Second Ditto (preparing). " Ya-as, you see he's Well Up to my "Weight ! No moke Cobs fob me ! ''

MONEY AND MATRIMONY.

Ere I plunged off, I did tarry

Long on Wedlock's brink.
How I ever dared to marry,

I can hardly think.

Though then marriage brought less pressing

Bills than it brings now
With high living, and high dressing,

Managed Heaven knows how.

Want of money, want of money,

Must be want of mate,
In default of prospects sunny ;

Hope of large estate :

Save for Proletarians, wholly

Ruled by price of bread.
None above the lowest lowly,

But the rich, can wed.

Parents of the middle classes

Can't, such wealth demands
Wedlock, and so rare are asses,

Get girls off their hands.

And a man with fear is harried,

Children having got,
Lest his grown sons should get married,

And his daughters not. Fogy

An Unprofessional View of Things.

We are told that the College of Surgeons have resolved " to dis-
continue mixed classes for the study of medicine." Something
new this—for the Doctors to disapprove of Mixtures.

AN AW7FUL PLUNGE.

It is a very courageous thing to go down-stairs at one in the morn-
ing when there are thieves in the house.

It is a very courageous thing to walk on a dark road, alone, at
night, in a garotting neighbourhood.

It is a very courageous thing to try to separate husband and wife,
when they are fighting in the street.

It is a very courageous thing to encounter your tailor, when you
owe him a heavy bill.

It is a very courageous thing to meet a lady for the first time after
she has jilted you.

It is a very courageous thing to tell a mother that her baby is
ugly.

It is a very courageous thing to oppose the wishes of your wife and
your wife's mother.

It is a very courageous thing to face a mad bull.

But, perhaps, the most courageous thing of all is, to bathe in the
Serpentine at eight o'clock in the morning this severe weather.*

* " Notwithstanding the severity of the weather, there are, every morning, at
eight o'clock, from ten to fifteen gentlemen who bathe in the Serpentine."

Startling Announcement.

The departing year has produced many astounding events, but
can any one of them stand a comparison with this which is forth-
coming—A New Edition of the Universe f

the after consequences.

The twentieth of December was " The Doctors' Day " at Merchant
Taylors' School. In the family circle the twenty-sixth of December
was the Doctor's Day.

Who should " despair of the Republic" f—Spain, since the crime
with which her year was crowned.