Punch: Punch (69.1875)

™ PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, [August 21, 1875.

mm

- v

, !\\ ') --^ ~\ ^ ( .

JUMPING AT CONCLUSIONS.

#tfwsZ {much impressed). " 0, Miss Grumph, do look ! That jfusr be Adam; !"

PERSONS WHO OUGHT NOT TO TRAVEL.

Idiots who scrawl their names upon the walls, or else carve their
initials on the trees, or rocks, or turf, as a memento of their visit to
places of repute.

Snobs who strut and stare about them ia the middle of the streets,
and crack jokes upon the names which are displayed over the shops,
whereof perhaps the owners are sitting underneath.

Persons who not merely quarrel with their bread-and-butter, but
find fault with everything they either eat or drink ; and though at
home they often dine on cold or lukewarm mutton and badly-boiled
potatoes, growl and grumble at the choicest cookery abroad.

Men who act upon the principle that "every Englishman is an
island," and hardly condescend to answer civilly when addressed
with common courtesy at a table-d'hote.

Women who persist in carrying their lapdogs, which snarl and
snap at you without the slightest provocation on your part.

Simpletons who scrawl their names in the hotel books, make
nonsensical remarks upon the beauty of the scenery, and express
themselves delighted with the "excellent accomodation" (with
one " m"), or else astonished at the reasonable charges of "mine
host."

Swells who, journeying en prince, and dressing every day for
dinner, superciliously stare at men who travel with a knapsack and
without a change of coat.

Men who use the tablecloth to clean their knife and fork, between
the courses, and cannot sit through dinner without picking their
teeth.

Persons who persist in airing their bad French, or still worse
German or Italian, in cases where plain English is distinctly under-
stood.

Fools who, when they stray into an unfrequented district, where
the sight of British tourists is phenomenal and rare, spend their
money recklessly, and tempt the simple natives to be extortionate
and grasping to the strangers who come next.

Ladies who hate smoke, and really can't exist without their tea
three times a day.

Men who never raise their hats when entering a Cafe, or take the
trouble to conform to common courtesies abroad.

Snobs who, even during service, stare about a Church, and talk in
loud tones of the pictures hung around the walls.

Bores who take their shop-talk with them when they travel, and,
when you would enjoy a pleasant scene or sunset, bother you to
listen to their details of a case.

Ladies, unattached, who cannot stir from home without innumer-
able packages, which exact les petits soins of all the men they meet.

Roughs who, when they go to see a monument or statue, perhaps
of world-wide fame, will, if unperceived, chip off, by way of keep-
sake, a finger or a toe.

Donkeys who, by chance having discovered a happy valley, with
a trout-stream, pretty sketching, and a comfortable inn, begin to
bray about it in a letter to some newspaper, and bring a crowd of
Cockney tourists to desecrate the place.

Great, and little, Britons who turn their noses up at everything
they see, and make rude remarks on manners which may differ from
their own.

Ladies who persist in wearing shabby dresses when they go
abroad, and of course look doubly dowdy by the side of the smart
costumes, fresh from Paris or Vienna, which they are sure to meet.

Dolts who overpay their guides, and over-fee the waiters and the
railway guards and porters, and in Paris fling a franc by way of
pour boire to a cabman, whom they make henceforth a grumbler
when offered his five sous.

Englishmen who, when they meet a fellow-countryman in France,
think it shows good breeding to speak to him in French.

And, lastly though not leastly, louts who make themselves
abhorred by stumping about cities in their thick boots and old
shooting-coats, and lounging to the Opera in a costume which is
better fitted for a Music-hall or a New Cut penny gaff.

surroEs' sufferings.

As Law is to Rheumatism, so is Equity to Gout. The fusion of
Law and Equity may be said to form the counterpart of Rheumatic
Gout.