Punch: Punch (69.1875)

110

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [September 18, 1875.

A DREAM OF THE SEA.

Ethel, who is not to have a Sea-side Trip this year, Dreams every night that She and her Mamma and Aunt and
Sisters spread their Sash-bows and Panniers and Fly away to the Yellow Sands.

A SEAT OUT OF SESSION.

He. This is better by far than St. Stephens!

■She. Indeed, Sir!

" M.P.-rial interests" bow at my shrine ?
'Tis more than you once were inclined to concede, Sir!

He. A proud fledgling Senator's dictum,—once mine,—
I beg leave to retract, and make open confession
I've altered my views on the choice of a Seat,
And think, in September, the pleasantest " Session "
Is—one at your feet!

She. Mere flattery!

He. Nay! as the sands of Sahara

Contrasted with these, was the Session gone by
As compared with our causerie here, mia cava.
Alas that such moments so swiftly should fly !
While howl of Kenealy, or wailing of Whalley
Will handicap Time, till his wings seem as lead.
But raising laid ghosts is the flattest of folly,—
We '11 dream, dear, instead.

She. Of what?

He. Why, of coming events,—that wee finger,

That bright cheek, or anything couleur de rose.
She. 'Tis only the sunset.

He. Well, well, let us linger

And watch out this wonderful day to its close.
Quite cool ? May I venture ? This nook, I am certain,
Was built for a Nereid's shore-going seat:
It needs but a couch, and a seaweedy curtain,

To make it complete.
Now the Treasury Bench should not tempt me, my Nina,
To quit this snug seat where black care may not bide ;
What talk about Trade or the Herzegovina
Is worth one more hour of such eve at your side ?

She. An hour ? I must go.

He. Now the low beams begin

To gild our sea-grot, would its Nereid be flitting ?
To leave it just now would be something like sin,—
So stay, Nymph!

(Left sitting.)

COSTLY EXPERIMENTS.

Her Majesty's Government, having learned that the loss of the
Vanguard is considered by the nation " a costly but valuable
experiment," are said to be arranging the following "trials," with
a view to obtaining information :—

To Test the Endurance of the Travelling Public. — To allow
accident after accident to occur on the Railways without taking any
steps to fix the criminal responsibilities upon the Companies in
fault.

To Test the Popularity^ of Recruiting for the Militia—To repeat
the experiment made this year in Somersetshire, when a Regiment
was kept encamped on marshy ground, in tents half full of water,
for a fortnight.

To Test the Good-Nature of the London People.—To allow (as
heretofore) all the principal thoroughfares of the Metropolis to be
blocked up annually for weeks, that certain officials may have ample
leisure to turn their attention to the mending of a gas-pipe or the
reconstruction of a water-supply.

To Test the Power of our National Existence.—To allow our Army
to remain disorganised, and the ships of our Fleet to be proved
dangerous only to one another.

To Test British Prestige in Foreign Parts.—To allow our Flag to
be insulted with impunity; to permit, further, our Representatives
(in Asia) to be ill-used, and our Ministers (in Europe) to be out-
witted. _ ,

And, lastly, to Test the Patience of the Nation.—To repeat the
ha If-hearted policy that was the disgrace of last Session.