Punch: Punch (69.1875)

150

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON

CHARIVARI. [October 16, 1875.

THE NEXT NAVAL NOVEL.

Chapter XLV.—" The Lively Polly:'

he Vulcan was
ploughing the sea
bravely. In spite
of the immense
thickness of her
iron sides, she was
moving at a speed
of at least two knots
an hour. It is
scarcely necessary
to explain to the
nautical reader that
she could have
attained even a
greater rate of
speed, had not the
Lords of the Ad-
miralty issued their
celebrated instruc-
tions regulating
the consumption of
*2 coal.

" And so, Mr.

Simple Simon," said our First Lieutenant (a Fellow of Trinity, by the way),
" our Junior Midshipman will join us at Portsmouth from Cambridge."

''Yes, Sir," I replied. "Me. Mtjttonhead has done well. You will have
noticed, from reading the newspapers, that be joins us as Senior "Wrangler."

" Yes, yes, very fair," commented my superior officer. " Still, I must con-
fess that I should have been greatly disappointed had he not joined us as First
of his year."

'' I suppose, Sir, he will resume his ordinary duties when he reports

himself ? "

" Quite so._ He will personally superintend the weighing out of the rations,
and will occasionally (in his official capacity) test the quality of the grog."

Our conversation was interrupted at this point by a cry from the sailor on
the look-out. The Second Lieutenant hurried on to the quarter-deck, and,
after the customary salute, addressed himself to his senior.

" Sir," said he, " it is my duty to inform you that black care often sits at
the back of the helmsman, and that, therefore, post equitern sedet atra cura may
have a wider meaning than the glorious old Roman was inclined to give to it."

" Always classical, Sobebsiles," remarked the First Lieutenant, with a
smile ; " but I hope you bring no bad news. Remember garrula lingua nocet! "

"Well said!" exclaimed Sobeesldes (who, I must admit, was something
of a sycophant). "But I wish merely to report to you that the look-out,
through his telescope, has made out a boat in the offing. She appears to be
steering for us. How shall we get out of her way ? "

"How far off is she?"

" Some five-and-twenty miles."

" We may yet have time to save ourselves!" exclaimed the First Lieutenant,
gallantly. " Me. Simple Simon, will you be good enough to get the Book of
Signals."

_ Of course, I complied with the request; and for the next three hours the
First Lieutenant, Sobersides, and myself were engaged in perusing the
mysterious volume.

In the meanwhile, the boat discovered by the look-out continued on her
reckless course. She seemed to be a deserted pleasure yacht, of about two tons,
and, from the fact that she carried the name of Lively Polly painted in white
letters on her bows, I took it that she hailed from the Port of Margate.

By degrees, she came nearer and nearer, until she was within half-a-mile
of us. Then there was a cry of astonishment from the lips of the younger of
our crew. She was carrying a sail—an article of nautical perambulation scarcely
known to the rising generation.

"Para avis in terris nigroque simillima cygno" I heard one of our Second
Class boys observe to a companion.

" Tvwtu ! " replied the other, suiting the action to the word.
_ "Really, Me. Simple Simon," said our First Lieutenant, "I do not like to
disturb the Captain in the midst of his experiments, but I think I must trouble
you to request his presence on deck."

" Aye, aye, Sir," I replied, and I descended below, and knocked at the door
of the laboratory of my Commanding Officer.

Chapter XLYI.—TAe Captain of the " Vulcan."
"Come in!" And I entered.

The Captain of the Vulcan was a thin, intellectual-looking student. He wore
long hair, and his eyes were shielded from the glare of a small fire (in which
several crucibles were glowing) by a pair of azure-coloured spectacles. His
laboratory, or (to use the nautical term " cabin") was furnished with a library
of dusty volumes, a stuffed alligator, and a few skeletons. He was standing
near a camera, and held in his hand a penny whistle.

"This interruption is very mal a propos," he exclaimed as I entered.
" What is the matter, Me. Simple Simon ? "

" We are in danger of a collision, Sir," I replied, respectfully.

"We are always in danger of a collision," he mur-
mured, petulantly. " Really, I must leave the matter in
the hands of the First Lieutenant. I have every con-
fidence in him."

I bowed, and was about to leave the apartment, when
an irresistible impulse seized me to put a question to my
Commanding Officer.

" Your pardon, Sir," I said with some hesitation,
"but the experiment upon which you are engaged seems
to interest you deeply. Is it indiscreet to ask you what
you are doing ? "

"Not at all!" he cried, with the enthusiasm of an
inventor. " I am attempting, with the aid of photo-
graphy, to fix and depict a ray of sound." And he blew
the penny whistle, and concealed his head in the curtains
of the camera.

On my return to the deck, I found that the Lively
Polly was within a few yards of the Vulcan. We con-
sulted the Signal-Book for the last time, and prepared to
meet our fate like Officers, Gentlemen, and Scholars.

The crew of the Vulcan stood still, and closed their
eyes, and then came a shock. The Lively Polly's bow-
sprit had made a hole in the side of the Vulcan, and all
was lost!

At this moment the Captain appeared. He was calm
and resolute. He spoke to the First Lieutenant—

" What is the size of the leak ? "

" Two inches by three, Sir."

" At what rate is the water coming in ?"

" About a pint an hour, Sir."

" Then get to the boats, and save yourselves! "

Within five hours of the collision, every man belong-
ing to the Vulcan had left that hapless ship to her
melancholy fate. And such is life on the waves !

Chapter XLYIL—The Last of the " Vulcan."

It was many'years after the events related in the last
Chapter that I (now Sir Peter Simple Simon) was
coasting in a steam-launch off the Isle of Thanet. On
board were my eldest son, his wife, and their youngest
daughter, a charming little maiden of nineteen. My
grandchild, who was called Wolehilda (a family name),
was standing near me, looking through a pair of opera-
glasses at some object seen dimly in the distance.

" 0, Grandpa! " she cried, with a little joyous laugh,
" do let us see what it is \ I am so curious ! "

Willing to please her, I smilingly put the helm hard-
a-port, and we soon neared the subject of our conversa-
tion. It turned out to be a very old ironclad, covered
with sea-weed. In the starboard side was a hole, which
had. evidently grown larger, in the course of years, from
rust and the action of the waves.

" 0 look, Grandpa! " cried Wolfhilda, pointing to
the stern of the vessel. "See, the name is written
up!"

I put on my spectacles, and then leisurely looked at
the boards at which my descendant was pointing. Then
I uttered a cry of surprise.

It was the Vulcan that we had deserted five-and-f orty
years before; and as we gazed upon the wreck, the brave
old ship at last began to sink.

Two months afterwards, the spot once occupied by the
Vulcan was occupied no longer!

Clerical Conference Question,

In the course of a discussion, at the Oxford Diocesan
Conference, on the subject of Church Patronage, the
Bishop oe Oxeord made a remark which may have
raised a question:—

"A3 to the appointment of Clergymen for terms of years, it
must be remembered that Governors of Colonies and others had
retiring pensions, and a Clergyman without an incumbency
would be in a cold place as far as this world's advantages were
concerned."

But, it may have been whispered among the Bishop's
diocesans, is not a cold 'place in this world preferable to
a warm berth in the other ?

A King in a Fix.

What Aleonso, knave and cad-rid,
Can do, is a mystery hidden;

When his capital is Mad-rid1, _
And the race he rules mad-ridden.