Punch: Punch (69.1875)

274

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[January 1, 1876.

MARY ANNER ON MODES AND MISSISES.

unch read, only last week,
that—

Attempts are being made
to revive a Society Btarted
sometime ago with the object of induc-
ing womea of all ranks to discard such
fashions as are injurious to health, un-
graceful, and untrue. It is now pro-
posed to re-organise the Society upon
a broader basis, and to set to work in
earnest. The prevailing love of finery
evinced by female domestic servants
is to be taken in hand, and awards in
money are to be offered as encourage-
ment to servant-girls to dress more
suitablv to their stations in life."—
Daily Telegraph, Dec. 21st, 1875.

Deak Susan Jane,

You've heard, no doubt,
of this Association
For making people dress their-
selves according to their sta-
tion ;

Which what they sez they 're aim-
ing at is putting of a stopper
On fashions as is 'stravagant, or
hurtful or improper.
* k t*"s. t» ^ * ^ Well, I'm agreeable, I'm sure—

that is,—to quote them law-
yers,—

" Purwided always " 'tain't no trick of Fashion's she-top-sawyers,

To keep hus down I I know their ways : theirselves they will bedizen,

But seeing servants smart and trim's a thing they hates like pizen !

That's why I seem to smell a rat, dear Sue, in this< Society,

As these " awards in money " is, I fear, a neat wariety

Of " trap ; " which toasted cheese is nice, and cash, no doubt, is nicer,

But we 're too sharp, I reckon, to be caught by such a 'ticer.

Encourage Servant- Girls to dress as suits their situation ?

0 yes, I dessay ! Yery fine! I've heard that observation

A goodish many times before, from lips of lots of Missises

As though nice toggery weren't for all, the same as food and kisses is I

Which service ain t no 'eritage at best, but plague upon it

If a girl can't have a sweetheart, or a Sunday-best smart bonnet.

It's all their nasty jealousy ! ; There's Missis and her darters,

A plainer lot you never see, red-nosed,' and

reglar Tartars!—
But dress, 0 my! just don't they 1 Which

Miss Harabella— drat her!-

Would give her little finger for a shape—

but there, no matter;
Though that absurd John Tommas do

declare as my contooer,
Compared with Harabella's, is as Wenus

to a brewer;
And Capten Bbook, as she 'opes to hook

with eyes as ain't a pair,
Sez, as he tipped me handsome—well,

that's neither here nor there.
But 0 the shindies I've gone through, the

dodges, Sue, the fibbings,
Along of trumpery trifles in the way of

caps and ribbings I
Which nothing short of charity rig, mob-
caps and straight-down skirts,
Will satisfy some Missises. Which they

flings, and flaunts, and flirts
Like peacocks or them Flaming Goes as

you've seen, dear, at the Zoo,—
Which gaudy ain't the word, as must be

well-be-known to you,—
While ive must go to see the play, or ramble

in the Parks,
Like dowdies out of workusses or children's

Noah's-Arks!
Just wearing my new fishyou t' other

evening in the garden
(The sweetest thing you ever see at four-

and-tenpence farden!)
So aggrawated our Miss Jane (as hers

might be its fellar,
Though dearer), her complexion, I swear,

went blue and yellow.
Sez she, "Take off that thing, I beg!"

Sez I, "Make no mistake, Miss,
Taint one o' yourn, though simmylar, I

own, in style and make, Miss.
I'd not demean-." I'm sure a Queen

could not have cut me shorter,
And I've my Berious doubts if I remains

beyond the quarter.
I calls this right down tyranny ; and this,

my dearest Sue,
Is why I takes my pen in hand to write

these lines to you.
This here new move, you mark my word, 's

a mask for something artful;
But they won't tempt me to play the Nun

with prizes by the cartfull.
To put us into uniform's their game ; dear

Sue, don't heed 'em,
But let us Servants all unite, and stick up

for our freedom.
If Missises hates " finery," they've only

got to drop it,
But bribing Servant-girls they'll find is

not the way to stop it.
If they 'd have us laugh at Fashion, let 'em

set us the example,
Before they frowns at our fal-lals, and on

our feelin's trample.
No! "Sunday Best for Ever!" is the

motto for our banner,
Down with Mob-caps and Missises!

Yours truly,

Mary Ahner.

not to be wondered at.

We hear that stringent orders have been
issued by the Admiralty that no Mistletoe
is to be allowed among the Christmas de-
corations of the ships now in the Solent.

seasonable hint.

The person likely to feel warmest at this
time of year is the man who is not
thoroughly wrapped up in himself.