Punch: Punch (70.1876)

18 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [January 22, 1876.

A SPELLING B.

As an independent teat, Mr. Btcttcrtub (Churchwarden and Overseer) is invited to put some questions,
Mr. B. "Can any o' you Boys spell Tkemenjeous ?" ! !

Snake Charmers The Snake Charmers

(supporting a real live Eev. Canon Duckworth (with Rattlesnakes
Cobra.) (reading a Book). and Vipers).

Rhinoceros A Bengal Ti*er Rhinoceros

(with Keeper). (held by Five Boys). (with Keeper).
The Rajah of Kollee Woblar The Jam of Nowar

(attended by his Physician, (attended by Three Ninkum Poopahs

Dr. Sennatee Dosabhoy). in full costume).

Full Band of Tom-Toms, Kat Guts, &c, led by
Sir Bassoon Hobhoy.
Chorus of Girls, under the direction of His Highness Heekan Singjee.
Natives MYSELF Natives

(on all fours). (carrying Coins). (on all fours).

Then the Suite in our remaining costumes, and in the centre
H.R.H., our Illustrious Star of India, covered with Orders and
Decorations, and walking under the

Gold Umbrella,

Carried alternately by Sir Jar Holkar—the Holkar—and Sir
Augustus Salar Jung. A few Tom-Toms, Pypars, Bengal Lights, and
others that I had no place for in the procession, brought up the rear.

The people of Singleloo were delighted, as the whole affair was
got up in a couple of hours, and took them quite by surprise. They
gave us an excellent dinner at the Club; and my Gorgeous and
Hearty Friend ate fifty-two curries, three dozen mangoes, and drank
half-a-dozen bottles of fine old Shuter-suivar* and so did I,

I regret that the evening did not end so pleasantly. I must
unwillingly record a scandal. But it is better for you, to have the
true version of it through me, than to trust to vague telegrams,
rumours, and unauthentic dispatches.

We sat down after dinner not to our rubber, but to ecarte, with
two strangers, apparently native swells. One was introduced as

* Shuter-mwar, in our Dictionary, is " a camel-carrier." This is nothing
to drink. But we cannot pronounce with certainty until the boy returns
with the new Dictionary. He has been away for one month, and the
Christmas holidays are over. Odd!—Ed.

Ali Areglar Dhoo, a Mahometan Banker, and the other was the
Cheetah of Singleloo, a magnate of some consideration in this
district. Fortunately for us my Royal Friend's private Card
Detective was on the spot, and when my Esteemed Companion
was losing his fifth lakh of rupees—I had prudently backed the
Cheetah, and so was a considerable winner—Sharpus, the Detective,
suddenly seized the Cheetah by the.throat, shook his sleeve, and out
came King, Queen, and Knave as neat as ninepence. Ali Areglar
Dhoo wanted to make a fuss about it; but, on seeing Inspector
IIunnumin Bostreetybhoy, of the Native Police, enter the room,
his face became three shades paler, and he leapt out of the window
on to the terrace'Jbeneath, a matter of ninety feet or so, and vanished.
As for the Cheetah, his pockets were emptied, and he was kicked
out of the Club by a herculean young Gentleman, Mr. H. Ardassar
Naylebee, who sent him flying into the moonlight. I was afraid
that there would have been a free fight, as the Cheetah had his
confederates in the Club that night. But, fortunately for the
Europeans, the Old Rajah, Holdyerjah Noyseebhoy, was present,
whose friendly disposition towards the English residents is so well
known as to have passed into a proverb.

The Old Rajah had but to clap his hands, and his band of'Native
Boksars would have rushed in and cleared the room in a second.
The Rajah, who is a sort of Unpaid Magistrate, told us that if the
Cheetah was brought before him, he should order him to receive
twenty krakhs (blows on the head), thirty bakwakhs (lashes, but not
necessarily on the head), and be fined seventy lakhs. Knowing that
the Cheetah might be still about, I trembled for the Gold Umbrella,
which, for a second time, had been thoughtlessly left by Sir Jar
Holkar—the Holkar—in the Hall.

However, it was safe. I am glad this Gold Umbrella has been
found—but, if Lord Northbrook has retired, he has, not been
recalled. j remain in haste, your truthful

Representative
(In India).

A Hackney'd " Subject.—Army Reform.