Punch: Punch (70.1876)

100

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[March 18, 1876.

A PROTECTOR.

Frustrated Garotter (to Ms PaV). " Blessed if a Cove didn't ought to get Sa Months for keepin' a Dorg like that ! "

MARY-ANNER ON THE RAMPAGE.

"I see before me say two thousand honest, virtuous, industrious young
women, working hard and half starved ; and I see before me at least twenty
thousand other women holding out plenty in both hands, and that plenty
rejected with scorn by young women of very little merit, or, if not rejected,
accepted only under vexatious and galling conditions imposed by the persons
to be benefited. . . The way the modest householder is ground down by these
young ladies is a grievance too large to be dealt with under this head, and will
probably lead to a Masters' and Mistresses' League. . . . Why do they (the
Sempstresses) sit hungry to the dullest of all labour, and hold aloof from
domestic service, at a time when Ladies born are beginning to recognise how
much better oft' is the rich housemaid than the poor Lady ?,.;.:. They think
a female servant has no ' liberty,' and that her principal remuneration is her
' wages.' . . Her wages are as a drop in the ocean of her remuneration. . . In
the place where she pigged with her relations, she often had a bit of bacon for
dinner and a red herring for supper. In the palace of cleanliness and comfort
she is promoted to she gets at least four meals a day, and butcher's meat at
two of them. . . The wages of her class have been raised, when they ought to
have been lowered."—Mr. Charles Eeade's Letter, " Starvation refusing
Plenty" in the Daily Telegraph.

Dear Susan" Jane,

I takes my pen, I may say, con amory,
Just to relieve my mind a bit. Which a more wicked story
Than that there Mr. Reade, as writes his rubbidge to the Telly,
/never see. And that, as John would say, 's the caseis belly !

Of course you've read his letter, Sue. A nasty, spiteful—there, I
Should like to comb his wool a bit, and so says John and Sairt.
Which what domestic Ladies, Sue, possessed of sense and sperrit,
Likes being called "young women," and " of very little merit " ?

A lot he knows about it, I dessay, as talks of Mississes
Being ground down by Servants. He should know what groans and
hisses is,

If the slandered twenty thousand in his presence might but muster ;
I'd like to tackle him alone, armed with my tongue—and duster !

He seems to think us Servants' lives is regular paradises—

" Where ignerance and cetrer." But, oh lor ! my dander rises

When he says our wages is too high, and reckons up our perkses.
A Screw, as ought to go and herd with Ottingtots or Turkses!

And then his nasty insults, Sue ! Young Ladies in our stations
Don't feed on no red herrings when we pigs with our relations "—

0 drat his imperence!—which, Sue, it well to you beknown is,
My folks would rather starve than stoop a step below polonies !

" Trampling too hard on Mississes " ? I wish he'd got a sample
Of Stuckup Naggers at his heels. I guess he'd want to trample !
Which if us Servants didn't show a sperrit, lawkamussy,
Tain't us would play that little game, but rather wisey ivussy !

And as to talk of cutting down our liberty and wages—
Well, there—it ain't no use, I s'pose, to fly into sech rages!
I've spilt the ink, and Missis is that horridly pertikler!
But let who will knock under, Sue, I keeps my perpendikler.

He talks about a league among the Mississes. 0 drat it!
They'd better try it on, they had! I'd like to see 'em at it!

1 proudly hopes there's none on us, from Brixton to Belgravy,
As wouldn't rally to the flag ; no not the veriest slavey !

And as to them there Sempstresses he'd shove into our cribses—
Walker ! I says. The letter, Sue, 's all foolishness and tibses.
Just like that " Lady Helpses " dodge ! Would Reade, for all his
bawling,

Relish two thousand Hammy Toors pitchforked into his calling ?

He says we holds our heads too high. I guess we '11 hold 'em higher.
It's time we pulled together, Sue. i But there ! that's Miss Mariar
A pulling of her bell like mad, as is her usual manner—
And so no more at present from your much-riled

Mart-Anner.

The Sweets of Savage Life.

Pliny tells us that, among the ancient cannibals of Ethiopia,
black pudding was a favourite dish at all state dinners. In default
of other sweets, they beat their wives into a jelly, or made mince-
meat of their enemies. As regards one dish of this appetising menu
ancient Ethiopia may boast a rival in our modern Black Country.