Punch (80.1881)

January 15, 1881.] PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

15

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM

THE DIARY OF^TOBY, M.P.

Thursday, January 6.—I have often heard
people calling in at 85, Fleet Street, say that
the House of Commons is the pleasantest Club
in London. As far as I have gone through it,
I think the praise is not overdone. Everything
seems very cosy, and, what is more, the
Members are clubbable men. Everyone has
been as glad to see me, as if I were his own
brother ; in some cases (Colonel Haecouet's
for example) more so. Nothing could exceed
the kindness of Mr. Gladstone, unless it were
that of Sir Stafford Noethcote. They stood
at the bar talking to me for some time before
the Speakee called out, "Members desiring
to take their seats, will please come to the
Table." They pointed out all the historic points
of the place, including the Mace, on which
Dr. Kenealy hooked his umbrella whilst he
took the oath; the particular spot where
Mr. Pllmsoll stood on one leg, and shook his
fist at the Prime Minister, and the pathway
along which the matting is worn out by Mr. Beadlaegh's footsteps, I Leader of the House, and the"titular Leader of the Opposition, had
as he walked up to the table demanding to take the oath, and meeting ' brought me up to the Table ; which was very right, he said, though
refusal. Also, they pointed out the celebrities of the place, and I j perhaps it had been just as well, in this case, if the established rule
noticed that whilst Mr. Gladstone was particularly anxious to draw
my attention to Lord Randolph Cheechill, Mr. Chaplin, Mr.
Goest, and one or two gentlemen on the left of the Speakee, Sir
Staffoed seemed to find more interest in Sir Wilfeid Lawson, and
some other Members below the gangway on the Liberal side, who I
believe occasionally prove a thorn in the side of the Government.

Give you a day's sport with the hares and rabbits," said Sir
"William Haecoeet, as he passed us on the way to the Treasury
Bench, on which he fills so large a space.

_ " Thank you, Sir V.," I replied with a wink, " I Tl wait till close
time."

It was not long before I was personally made acquainted with Lord
Randolph Chuechill. He came up to me immediately after I had
shaken the Speakee's paw. He said he had observed that the

had been stretched a little, and three Members had taken part in the
ceremony of introduction.

"We are all proud of you, Toby," he said, " and it would have
been well if effect had been given to this feeling by the real Leader
of the Opposition publicly associating himself with your reception."

I thought this was very nice indeed. But I presently discerned
that it was intended to cover a little scheme which this astute young
man had elaborated. In brief, he wanted me to join the Fourth
Party.

"The fact is, Toby," he said, "I feel the need of a right-hand
man. Wolff is very well in his way, but he is a bit heavy. Goest
is not good form, and I never hear him speak in the House of Com-
mons but I expect next morning to receive a bill of costs, beginning:
' To attending and receiving your instructions to go for Gladstone,