Punch (80.1881)

238

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[Mat 21, 1881.

BETWEEN THE LINES.

[By the Man who knows how to
Bead There.)

At the election of the two
new R.A.'s at Burlington
House, the other day, there
was the usual scene, and the
proverbial hat, election papers,
and Secretary's table were
knocked over in the scuffle.
The objection was to Mr.
Riviere's Erench origin.
Just as the police were about
to bo sent for, the President
wittily remarked, "A French-
man, Gentlemen,—why, he is
the best Briton of us all!"
In an instant there was hand-
shaking all round, and the
new R.A. was elected.

The Laureate looked over
the poems sent in for the Cal-
deron Ode to the Spanish Am-
bassador ; and, finding not one
worthy of the prize, shook his
head. "Well, then, perhaps
I shall have a chance," said
the smiling Diplomatist, hand-
ing in a copy of his own lines,
and earnestly pressing the dis-
tinguished judge to stay to
dinner. But the Laureate
merely scanned the paper, and
rejoined " Verse and verse."
When this bon-mot was tele-
graphed to the young King' at
Madrid, he instantly replied,
" Give the man who made that
five pounds, and return me the
balance."

'' Quite Too Too! "—In the
present crisis in Art, may a
man who does not understand
" ^Esthetic " language be de-
scribed as " one who can't put
two and two together " ?

PUNCH'S FANCY PORTRAITS.-No. 32

THE EARL OF DUFFERIN, P.C., K.T., K.C.B., G.C.M.G.

A Man of (many) Letters from High Latitudes.
" Again he urges on his wild career—to Turkey ! "

PRINCE BISMARCK'S
PREVISION.

A ret of twenty-five bottles
of Champagne is said to have
been made so long ago as 1833
with an American by Prince
Bismarck, that Germany
would become a united country
in his time. If Bismarck laid,
he has certainly won, a wager
which instances his farsight,
and attests his foresight, not
only of his country's future,
but likewise of his own, and
that of the other party also;
the destiny of both . himself
and that other to live, the
former to win, the latter to
lose, the five-and-twenty bot-
tles of Champagne. Five-and-
twenty, by the way ; not two
dozen, the ordinary bet of
bottles, but two dozen and
one. There is said to be "luck
in odd numbers." The Great
Chancellor is credited with a
belief in luck. Does this
explain his wager ?

Take your Physic.

The House of Commons, in
its dealings with Mr. Brad-
laugti, is like a naughty boy
who quarrels with his physic.
The boy knows he must swal-
low his jalap, but fights against
it as long as possible. Mr.
Bradlaugh represents a prin-
ciple, and, however nasty, the
House must take him.

Note on a New Book.—
The Evolutionist at Large.
All right. The theory of Evo-
lution may be wild indeed;
but that is no reason why,
except by disproof, even an
Evolutionist should be shut up.

THE STAGE IN MOURNING.

Theatrical Managers are the most imitative race of beings under
the sun. A foreign Actor, named Salvini, discovered an old play
called Othello—a play that is far less coarse in
Italian than in English. He had a magnificent

THE MODERN TORTURE OF THE BOOT.

Mr. Bushrt, in sentencing a ruffian for the too free use of that
popular institution the British Boot, remarked that there was an
amount of savagery about the act of kicking which he always visited
with the utmost penalty provided by law. Quite right, Mr. Bushey,
voice—like a church organ, and represented the title ! and if the law provided a much severer penalty for this particular
character Jusually called a role) like an inspired 1 offence, honest men would rejoice the more, and helpless women

might suffer less. Ex pecle Herculem may now be freely translated,
"The Brute is known by his Boot,"—or his use of it; and if the
papers continue to be as full of cases of cowardly kicking as they
have been of late, public opinion will demand that the hulking
Hercules of the slum shall have his hide—the only sensitive part of
him—as urgently appealed to as though he had had an hour's
experience of the effects of Nessus's shirt.

butcher. He became the rage. A brother foreigner,
named Rossi, followed, and became a failure. Mr.
Irving followed, and was not a success. Mr. Booth
arrived from America, and hardly succeeded. Again
Mr. Irving tried Othello, this time with Mr. Booth,
each Actor alternating the parts of Othello and Iago.
Mr. McCuleough, just arrived from America, must
black his face at Drury Lane, and an amateur, who
evidently thinks the part mere Child's play, must take a theatre to
do the same thing at matinees. Three Othellos in London in one
week, and probably more to follow ! Who shall say that this is an
age which despises antiquity ?

Heads and Tails.

{A Query for Mr. Darwin.)

[A Medical Gentleman at Manchester expresses his absolute conviction—
based on the testimony of hatters, who find increasing demand for hats of a
smaller size,—that the adult human head is in course of diminution.]

Make answer, 0 Science, for courage quite quails
At a prospect which fills us with tremors and dreads :

If Apes became Men by slow loss of their tails,
What will Men become by slow loss of their heads P

"Where the Brad-Laugh Comes In!

Brown. How uncommonly well the Tories have treated Brad-
laugh !

Jones. Eh? what?—treated him well? They don't allow him to go
into the House !

Brown. Exactly so. They spare him all the boredom of debates,
but they let him into the lobby, and the smoking-room, and the
dining-room, where all the fun is. Hang me, if they haven't treated
him too well. _

akin to cocktail.

A Certain Wine is advertised under the name of Ruster. This is
a Hungarian Wine. It is commended as especially valuable in
" sleeplessness." American Cousins might call it" Rooster."