Punch: Punch (81.1881)

October 1, 1881.] PUNCH, OB, THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

155

CONTUMACIOUS.

Magistrate (in an undertone to his colleague). "This Man has been so often before us for Poaching, I think we should fine
him Five Pounds."

Prisoner (overhearing). "You needna Pench yourselves, Gen'lemen !—for deil a Penny ye'll get!"

A GOOD FIFTY YEARS' WORK.

Fifty years ago, if Mr. G. P. R. James's celebrated ubiquitous
"Stranger" bad peeped into a room on a second lloor in Jermyn
Street, be migbt bave seen a show of British Admirals calculated to
astonish him, and to make a British schoolboy's heart beat briskly.
Hardy, Codrington, Yorke, Blackwood, Keats, Cockburn, De
Saumarez, Exmouth, Sidney Smith, Brenton, these surely are
names to conjure with amongst boys and Britons. Tbe Admirals
were not assembled to consider the best means for repulsing a new
Armada, but to promote a project of Commander W. H. Dickson's
("bully" for Dickson!) for establishing a school for the sons of the
less affluent officers of tbe Iloyal Navy and Marines.

On the 27th July in the present year, if the same Stranger—
" Strangers" are all immortal as well as ubiquitous—had looked in
at the Royal Naval School, New Cross, he would have witnessed the
satisfactory outcome of the scheme of Commander Dickson, the
muster of the Admirals, and the patronage of the " Sailor King."
He would, in fact, have seen Sir Thomas Brassey, M.P., Lord of
the Admiralty, distributing prizes to the pupils of the now well-
established Naval School, prizes which, from the number of "marks"
they had totalled, the pupils would seem well to have deserved.

A good fifty years' work has been that of the Royal Naval School,
as all may see who care to overhaul its "log." An institution which
can show such a record, is worthy of public support. And one man,
it seems, has taken an active share in the whole of that half century's
labour of love, Mr. Alfred Eames to wit, who has completed fifty
years in the service of the Institution, during thirty-six of which he
has been Secretary. Half a century's loyal labour in an excellent
cause would seem to deserve recognition. Sir Thomas Brassey, on
behalf of the Council, made it in the form of an Illuminated Certifi-
cate. Some supporters of the school contemplate something more
solid in the shape of a Purse. Lovers of England, of the Navy, and
of Faithful Service, can hardly do better than help to fill that Purse,
which Mr. Punch hopes will prove a " plumper." They can do so by

sending subscriptions of five shillings and'upwards for the " Eames
Testimonial Fund " to any of the Navy Agents, to Messrs Drummond
and Co., Spring Gardens ; or to W. 0. Fh/borough, Esq., 1, Moscow
Villas, Albert Road, South Norwood, S.E., Honorary Secretary to
the Fund.

A LAY FROM THE LANCET.

" Bad complexions, blotchy and rough skins, deficient eyebrows and eye-
lashes, and bald heads, are becoming common characteristics not only of the
frivolous or dissipated classes, but of tbe respectable and sedate community
as a whole. These are the consequences of that hurtful recourse to washes,
soaps, powders, hair strengtheners and producers and depilatories, which has
become general of late years."—Lancet.

Y'ou were fair till you tried those emulsions and dyes,
Which the chemist and hairdresser offer for sale ;

But, oh ! why should you wish to make brighter bright eyes,
Or to redden a cheek that is perfect when pale ?

Don't you know that those washes and soaps must do harm-
That there's woe in the compounds that chemists prepare ?

E'en the fairest of maidens you '11 own loses charm,
When the hair-wash she uses deprives her of hair !

So no wonder that muddy complexions increase,

And that eyebrows and eyelashes vanish away ;
But we turn to our Lancet, and that gives us peace,

If we follow tbe rules that it lays down to-day.
Let vile nostrums alone, or abandon all hope

Of a face without blotches and rubicund nose ;
But just stick to spring water and plenty of soap,

And you '11 find your complexion as fresh as a rose !

Not much confidence can be felt in Egyptian Securities when the
property is in the hands of Sherit's Officers.