Punch: Punch (81.1881)

294 PUNCH, OH THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Degembek 24, 1881,

NORTH LONDONERS

PREPARING FOR THE SEVERITIES OF THE COMING WINTER. {After Du Cluullu.)

BURNING QUESTIONS.

Old Froissart said the English were a people who took their
amusements sadly. The recent catastrophe at Vienna, and the com-
ments thereon, will make us take our amusements timidly. On the
first appearance of fire in a theatre, shall we behave as they did at
Nice, and stab each other in the back, or as they did at Yienna, and
fly at each other's throat? The Managers have a responsibility to
face in these burning questions, and so have the Public. A bewil-
dered, undisciplined, and savage mob may come to grief even at a
meeting in Trafalgar Square, where the whole place is one enormous
exit.

Because gas has exploded, shall we abolish gas, and go back to oil
and candles, with a double chance of fire ? Because staircases have
become crowded, shall we abolish staircases, and substitute external
ladders, in obedience to several suggestions ? Shall we weakly call
upon the Legislature to assist us, as many have called, though we
are secretly aware that the Legislature is in such a condition that it
cannot even help itself ? Shall we look to Bumbledom, which is
silent, and has no real power over old buildings or "vested interests" ?
Shall we look to Officialism, and get a mild and gentlemanly, not to
say a feeble circular from the Lord Chamberlain, who fails to tell
the public that he has no authority over the two great Pantomime
houses, Covent Garden and Drury Lane, which are just about to open
with their Christmas entertainments ?

Shall we ask some Government Department to indemnify the
Managers who fly in the face of the 35 & 36 Yict., c. 94—(dis-
respectfully described by the Manager of the Gaiety Theatre as a
piece of " Molly-Coddling Legislation") and knock down the walls
which separate them from other "licensed" buildings? Shall we
ask, more or less weakly, what Department would be the proper one
to apply to, and what chance there is of such applicant, with such an
application, being kicked into the street ? Shall we echo the Lord
Chamberlain's cry, and insist that every theatrical door shall " open
outwards," and then ask why a Metropolitan Building Act exists,
which forbids such a regulation as to outer doors under a heavy
penalty ? Shall we ask any more weak questions, or confess our
helplessness, and sit down with the assurance that in England, at
least, for nearly sixty years, although more than twenty theatres
have been destroyed, there have only been, as the Manager of the
Gaiety asserts, " two deaths from fire—a Dresser, and a Manager ?"

IRELAND'S CHRISTMAS STOCKING.

(A Wish and a Suggestion.)

Would Ireland at her outer door

Just hang up her Christmas stocking, 0 !

John Bull with goodwill that stocking would fill,
And he'd quietly leave without knocking, 0 !

For good he 'd do that country, though
Its troubles so sadden and fret him, 0 !

His help he would give, saying " Live and let live ! "
If only some " Parties " would let him, 0 !

" Defence of Property Fund !_"—that name

To generous hearts is shocking, 0 !
Bat call it the " Mansion House Fund "—that same

John Bull will drop into her stocking, 0 !

Thankful for Small Mercies.

The following announcement appears in the fashionable intelli-
gence of the week :—

" The Mackintosh lias arrived at Claridge's Hotel from Nelkerby, Long-
town, Cumberland."

TVe are very glad to hear it, and it's not a bit too soon, for the
wet weather has evidently set in in earnest. > Only, the allowance
seems ludicrously inadequate for a population like that of the Metro-
polis. If one swallow does not make a summer, still less does one
Mackintosh make suitable provision for a winter.

Punch's Christmas Prizes.

In acknowledgment of his having produced the handsomest, most
decorative, and most original Album for Photographs, we hereby
decorate Mr. Marion (of Marion & Co.) with his own Patent Clasp,
and create him Duke of St. Albums. The Public will send him the
Orders. Re-Marhs.—For painted Cards on Satin and Silk,—the
best " Marks,"—Albert Marks. ,

"There's Rue for you,"—we mean De la Rue, whose Cards tne
Ladies say "are simply lovely."