DOI issue:
January 19, 1856
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16617#0036
28
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 19, 1856.
ADMINISTRATIVE REFORM.
Last night, a most important Meeting of the Administrative Reform
Body was held at the Bottle of Smoke, Makebelieve Street. Ms.
Frothan took the chair- and briefly called the attention of the
Meeting to the fact that Parliament ostensibly renewed its duties on
the 31st inst. During the recess, administrative reformers had kept
all their eyes upon the House of Commons; and the effect of such
vigilance had been significantly shown even in the mildewed recesses of
Downing Street. (Cheers.)
Mr. Bumptious must congratulate the Meeting and the country on
the many triumphs obtained—and no less obtained because achieved
with the most perfect tranquillity—by Administrative Reform. For
instance: what was the condition of Charles the First at Charing-
Cross, when administrative reformers first took the field P King
Charles might be considered a national institution: nevertheless he
was eaten-up with the King's-evil of verdigris. Again, the spurs of
his Majesty were in a lamentable state of decay; whilst a bridle was
wholly wanting. What was the condition of the statue at the present
moment ? A bran-new, beautiful pair of spurs had been affixed to the
royal figure; and the long-desired bridle duly supplied. And did these
things mean nothing ? Were they typical of nothing P Let not their
opponents think it. He (Mr. B.) would tell them, that the new spurs
denoted that Administrative Reform did not permit Routine to go on in
its old jog-trot way; but, on the contrary, would compel it to mend
its paces, to keep up with the pace of the people. (Cheers.) Did the
bridle mean nothing, either ? Why, yes; it meant that, when required,
the aristocracy should be curbed, and brought up, and if necessary—(not
that he believed it would be necessary)—thrown upon its haunches.
(Loud Cheers.) To any carping, narrow-minded dissentient who ques-
tioned the utility, the active beauty, he would say, of Administrative
Reform, he would fearlessly point to King Charlks's spurs, and King
Charles's bridle.
Mr. Linseywolsey begged to call the attention of Administrative
Reformers to the condition of Queen Anne's attire. Approachin
Her Majesty up Ludgate Hill, he thought her head-dress was susceptible
of very great improvement. (The Hon. Gentleman, however, made no
motion on the subject, and whereupon the matter dropped.)
Mr. Peewitt had lately been in Cocki'pur Street; and did not con-
sider George the Third's pig-tail the right pig-tail in the right place;
he would therefore move, that it be referred to a Committee; which,
being agreed to, the Meeting in high spirits, broke up.
6
THE TRAVELS OF TRUTH.
After all, Canal Fishing is a very exciting amusement; for, though you
never by accident catch anything, you have to exercise great ingenuity to
avoid being caught yourself.
KING CLICQUOT'S TERMS OF PEACE.
His Majesty King Clicquot, in answer to an official application
from the Office, 85, Fleet Street, for the proposal of terms for the
conclusion of peace satisfactorily to all parties, has drawn out the fol-
lowing articles:—
1. The Allies to evacuate the Crimea, leaving so much of Sebastopol
as shall not have been blown up in statu quo.
2. The Russians to evacuate Asia.
3. The Black Sea to be declared half a Russian lake and half a
Turkish, with a metaphysical line of distinction between the Turkish
and Russian part.
4 The construction of gun-boats and other armaments for the Baltic
Fleet to be discontinued on the part of the Allies.
5. The Russians 1o be at liberty to complete the fortifications of
Cronstadt and St. Petetsburg; but the French and English to be
equally free to fortify Cherbourg and Portsmouth, London and Paris,
Boulogne, Jersey, Guernsey, and the Is'e of Dogs.
6. Prussia to be indemnified for the diminution in her export trade :, 1 k\\tmJM ^ " .<#/! / I m nussia i rtas tne man no
which will necessarily ensue on the cessation of the blockade of the j | H||r%few % s(jn+s,e °V , \n^}tui seventy
Baltic ' m- wnW^^^^^^^^^f r climaler How long, m
7. The mutual understanding amongst the Allies to be symbolised by j jflffc WPj^^^^^^C I ^ * lat:it?df' can nake(J,Truth
a performance of the play of Antigo?ie, with Mendelssohn's music; sj^gjgg^ s be expected to survive tne ex-
the chorus to consist, "in equal proportions, of English, French,! \V£^ "^^a. (Ak^ J¥ posure . Will not -truth, it
Sardinians, and Turks. The part of Antigone to be assigned by lot to ' XSv ^^tJ? sufficient strength remain to her
Queen Victoria or the Empress Eugenie ; and Louis Napoleon I ^^^==^ro^^^'^ ™u i r a ^ atm0SPyere •
and Alexander to go the odd man for Creon. ^=E£ggs*- Who knoWS ? In her despe-
8. Pledges to be exchanged in champague, beer, or any other liquor , L . _ . w, , ration, she may fly towards
that shall be agreed on by the plenipotentiaries of the respective parties. &\stna- ?°°r tnmg!. W^at there awaits the nakedness of Truth ?
The British Public to stand treat. The referee to participate. ! 5hy' bettelr C0Vf.™S than a petticoat of Concordat • a wretched,
9 Goes all round I nimsy thing that all the winds of heaveu hiss and whistle through.
Perhaps, then, Truth will take to her heels, and fly to Prussia; and
there she will, at least, find a refuge, a welcome, and a good wooden
petticoat beside in a cask of Rhenish. In vino Veritas; and there it
is that King Clicquot delights to honour her. But Russian Truth
he Grand Duke Constantine
has thrown all the Naval De-
partments of Russia into a state
of consternation, by demanding
of their functionaries reports
that " shall contain the naked
Truth, without any attempt to
gloss over defects and misma-
nagement." The naked Truth
in Russia! Has the man no
THE RIGHT RUFFIANS IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
The Esterhazy Mission.—Valentine has been sent to St. Peters-
burgh, to see if " Orson is endowed with reason P"
A Provincial paper says :— j js n0^ yet so pUt; ^0 ^ gbe styj remain so thickly muffled up in
"Mr. Justice Ckompton was prevented from opening the last Maidstone Assizes with , bear-skin, that where Bruin begins and Truth ends, where Truth com-
Clt%"l^,r,iQv' which the Quekn's judge travelled from Croydon was; mences m& Bruin finishes, will, for many a long day yet, puzzle the
'shunted on its route to make way for a special tram conveying gentlemen of the p ' • j.
prize-ring to a fight." OaSUlStS.
We do not share in the indignation expressed by our contemporary
at this arrangement. The place for u gentlemen of the prize-ring " is
before one of the Queen's Judges, and we heartily hope that in due
course every one of the scoundrels will be found there.
Very " Hollow " of Denmark.
His Majesty of Denmark has made it known by proclamation to nis
loving subjects, that his morganatic marriage with the Countess
Danner shall for ever remain left-handed ; a deoree which clearly pre-
vents the unfortunate wife from ever getting on the right side of bai
husband. (Very mean of Denmark.)
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 19, 1856.
ADMINISTRATIVE REFORM.
Last night, a most important Meeting of the Administrative Reform
Body was held at the Bottle of Smoke, Makebelieve Street. Ms.
Frothan took the chair- and briefly called the attention of the
Meeting to the fact that Parliament ostensibly renewed its duties on
the 31st inst. During the recess, administrative reformers had kept
all their eyes upon the House of Commons; and the effect of such
vigilance had been significantly shown even in the mildewed recesses of
Downing Street. (Cheers.)
Mr. Bumptious must congratulate the Meeting and the country on
the many triumphs obtained—and no less obtained because achieved
with the most perfect tranquillity—by Administrative Reform. For
instance: what was the condition of Charles the First at Charing-
Cross, when administrative reformers first took the field P King
Charles might be considered a national institution: nevertheless he
was eaten-up with the King's-evil of verdigris. Again, the spurs of
his Majesty were in a lamentable state of decay; whilst a bridle was
wholly wanting. What was the condition of the statue at the present
moment ? A bran-new, beautiful pair of spurs had been affixed to the
royal figure; and the long-desired bridle duly supplied. And did these
things mean nothing ? Were they typical of nothing P Let not their
opponents think it. He (Mr. B.) would tell them, that the new spurs
denoted that Administrative Reform did not permit Routine to go on in
its old jog-trot way; but, on the contrary, would compel it to mend
its paces, to keep up with the pace of the people. (Cheers.) Did the
bridle mean nothing, either ? Why, yes; it meant that, when required,
the aristocracy should be curbed, and brought up, and if necessary—(not
that he believed it would be necessary)—thrown upon its haunches.
(Loud Cheers.) To any carping, narrow-minded dissentient who ques-
tioned the utility, the active beauty, he would say, of Administrative
Reform, he would fearlessly point to King Charlks's spurs, and King
Charles's bridle.
Mr. Linseywolsey begged to call the attention of Administrative
Reformers to the condition of Queen Anne's attire. Approachin
Her Majesty up Ludgate Hill, he thought her head-dress was susceptible
of very great improvement. (The Hon. Gentleman, however, made no
motion on the subject, and whereupon the matter dropped.)
Mr. Peewitt had lately been in Cocki'pur Street; and did not con-
sider George the Third's pig-tail the right pig-tail in the right place;
he would therefore move, that it be referred to a Committee; which,
being agreed to, the Meeting in high spirits, broke up.
6
THE TRAVELS OF TRUTH.
After all, Canal Fishing is a very exciting amusement; for, though you
never by accident catch anything, you have to exercise great ingenuity to
avoid being caught yourself.
KING CLICQUOT'S TERMS OF PEACE.
His Majesty King Clicquot, in answer to an official application
from the Office, 85, Fleet Street, for the proposal of terms for the
conclusion of peace satisfactorily to all parties, has drawn out the fol-
lowing articles:—
1. The Allies to evacuate the Crimea, leaving so much of Sebastopol
as shall not have been blown up in statu quo.
2. The Russians to evacuate Asia.
3. The Black Sea to be declared half a Russian lake and half a
Turkish, with a metaphysical line of distinction between the Turkish
and Russian part.
4 The construction of gun-boats and other armaments for the Baltic
Fleet to be discontinued on the part of the Allies.
5. The Russians 1o be at liberty to complete the fortifications of
Cronstadt and St. Petetsburg; but the French and English to be
equally free to fortify Cherbourg and Portsmouth, London and Paris,
Boulogne, Jersey, Guernsey, and the Is'e of Dogs.
6. Prussia to be indemnified for the diminution in her export trade :, 1 k\\tmJM ^ " .<#/! / I m nussia i rtas tne man no
which will necessarily ensue on the cessation of the blockade of the j | H||r%few % s(jn+s,e °V , \n^}tui seventy
Baltic ' m- wnW^^^^^^^^^f r climaler How long, m
7. The mutual understanding amongst the Allies to be symbolised by j jflffc WPj^^^^^^C I ^ * lat:it?df' can nake(J,Truth
a performance of the play of Antigo?ie, with Mendelssohn's music; sj^gjgg^ s be expected to survive tne ex-
the chorus to consist, "in equal proportions, of English, French,! \V£^ "^^a. (Ak^ J¥ posure . Will not -truth, it
Sardinians, and Turks. The part of Antigone to be assigned by lot to ' XSv ^^tJ? sufficient strength remain to her
Queen Victoria or the Empress Eugenie ; and Louis Napoleon I ^^^==^ro^^^'^ ™u i r a ^ atm0SPyere •
and Alexander to go the odd man for Creon. ^=E£ggs*- Who knoWS ? In her despe-
8. Pledges to be exchanged in champague, beer, or any other liquor , L . _ . w, , ration, she may fly towards
that shall be agreed on by the plenipotentiaries of the respective parties. &\stna- ?°°r tnmg!. W^at there awaits the nakedness of Truth ?
The British Public to stand treat. The referee to participate. ! 5hy' bettelr C0Vf.™S than a petticoat of Concordat • a wretched,
9 Goes all round I nimsy thing that all the winds of heaveu hiss and whistle through.
Perhaps, then, Truth will take to her heels, and fly to Prussia; and
there she will, at least, find a refuge, a welcome, and a good wooden
petticoat beside in a cask of Rhenish. In vino Veritas; and there it
is that King Clicquot delights to honour her. But Russian Truth
he Grand Duke Constantine
has thrown all the Naval De-
partments of Russia into a state
of consternation, by demanding
of their functionaries reports
that " shall contain the naked
Truth, without any attempt to
gloss over defects and misma-
nagement." The naked Truth
in Russia! Has the man no
THE RIGHT RUFFIANS IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
The Esterhazy Mission.—Valentine has been sent to St. Peters-
burgh, to see if " Orson is endowed with reason P"
A Provincial paper says :— j js n0^ yet so pUt; ^0 ^ gbe styj remain so thickly muffled up in
"Mr. Justice Ckompton was prevented from opening the last Maidstone Assizes with , bear-skin, that where Bruin begins and Truth ends, where Truth com-
Clt%"l^,r,iQv' which the Quekn's judge travelled from Croydon was; mences m& Bruin finishes, will, for many a long day yet, puzzle the
'shunted on its route to make way for a special tram conveying gentlemen of the p ' • j.
prize-ring to a fight." OaSUlStS.
We do not share in the indignation expressed by our contemporary
at this arrangement. The place for u gentlemen of the prize-ring " is
before one of the Queen's Judges, and we heartily hope that in due
course every one of the scoundrels will be found there.
Very " Hollow " of Denmark.
His Majesty of Denmark has made it known by proclamation to nis
loving subjects, that his morganatic marriage with the Countess
Danner shall for ever remain left-handed ; a deoree which clearly pre-
vents the unfortunate wife from ever getting on the right side of bai
husband. (Very mean of Denmark.)