Punch (30.1856)

152

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[April 19, 1856-

Mr. Samuel Warren's maiden speech was in good taste, and contained truths. Mb. Edward
Ball opposed the education of Agricultural children, because they were wanted "to weed
and pick up stones :"—<*e wonder, should a wicked peasant lad, in an ignorant rage, fire
a barn of Mr. Ball's, whether the latter will recommend him to mercy, on account of his
iack of a withheld education, which might have taught him better things. Mb. Gladstone
opposed the plan, as hostile to religion. Mr. Drummond considered that the State had no
right to educate; but that i-t might deal with criminals, " sending those who had offended
least, out of the kingdom, and those who had offended most, out of the world." Sir Geokge
Grey, for Government, supported the plan "to a certain extent," and yet "would not under-
take to legislate upon its basis," and, Mr. Disraeli having come in, as he usually does, at
the end of a debate, with a sort of snappishness (like that of a small attorney when the
counsel have sat down), the division took place, and a Coalition of Opposition, of the Sec-
tarians, and of the Manchester men, rejected the plan by 260 to 158, majority 102 against
Education. For the third time this week the Ministers were on the beaten s<de.
A Divorce Bili was introduced, but not explained, in the Lords, and the poor old Bishop
oe Bangor was allowed to make some observations, luckily "totally inaudible," upon the
Church Discipline Bill, the title of which naturally alarmed him. The trade of Bangor is
chiefly slates, which may account for its Bishop's slating propensities—at least we know
no better excuse for the ire of his celestial bosom.

ALL IS NOT BRIGHT IN FLUNKEY DOM".


HE rich are occasionally
punished for their
egregious folly in
dressing up their spr-
vants in such hideous
gaudy liveries. Eor
instance, who would
like, now that the
hot weather is coming,
to have his eyes
scorched out by the
blazing colours of his
Johnny's flaming uni-
form. Such a fiery
apparition, whirling
round one at dinner,
with the sun bringing
out in dazzling bril-
liancy the full warmth
of the most blinding
plush and broadcloth,
must be almost more
than a poor mortal's
vision could contem-
plate.
Jupiter, as he ap-
peared to Semele, we
should say, was a
cool cucu'ubpr com-
pared to it! We won-
der that the rich do
uot have, in summer'

A SCHOOL FOR SPECULATORS.
The Schoolmaster must be in a precious hurry
to be abroad, or at all events, he must have beer
extremely anxious to be " not at home," whec
he inserted the following advertisement:—
SCHOLASTIC TRANSFER.—For immediate
<y DISPOSAL a respectable DAY SCHOOL for YOUNG
GENTLEMEN, nett profits, £250 per annum. To effect
an immediate transfer, the low sum of £100 will be accepted,
which is considerably below its value. Satisfactory reasons
for leaving will be given. This will bear the strictest
investigation, and is an opportunity seldom to be met with.
Rent low, house convenient, school-room detached. Apply,
with real name and address, &c. &c.
This "scholastic transfer," as it is mildly
termed, looks like a rather precipitate retreat
fiom the cares and responsibilities of the life of
a pedagogue. We were not aware that a number
of pupils could be handed over like a parcel of
sheep, and we always thought that education was
a matter of choice, in which the qualities of the
tutor have to be considered. Even at Oxford it
is bad enough to be assigned to one who, though
he may be A. 1 on Lloyd's List—that is to say, in
his own conceit—is most objectionable to the
student on whom he is imposed, but it is hardly
to be expected that the pupils of a day-school will
permit themselves to be sold for one hundred
pounds without their consent, to anybody who is
desirous of getting 250 per cent, tor his money
out of them. It is quite a new doctrine, that
schoolboys are fixtures like the grates, or " that
they run with the land,"—a condition they can
easily defeat by walking out of the playground.

The Charivari takes Orders !
The papers tell us that the Charivari has re-
ceived orders " to cease to publish caricatures of
Russia."
Upon this Punch begs leave to suggest to his
Parisian brother the following subject in illus-
tration of the command.
Scene-—Jardin des Plantes. Charivari trim-
ming his pencil. Sergent de police interposing.—
" Monsieur, you are forbidden by nis Imperial
Majesty to teaze the bear."

time, a few of their Johnnys iced before they are allowed to come to table ! I Bangor

Episcopal.—Our readers, we are certain, will
be very happy to hear that the health of the
Bishop of London is so much improved as to
enable him to support a visit from the BiSHOr of

ROYALTY " KEEPING COMPANY."
John Bell will shortly be expected to play the part of the bene-
volent old lather in a comedy; who joins the hands of the young couple,
and accompanies his blessing with a liberal, not to say an extravagant,
dowry. We shall soon be under the necessity of saying to the Prince
of Prussia, "Take her, you young dog—be happy;" and the young
dog will, no doubt, be as happy as an amiable—though rather infantine
—wife can possibly make him. We do not wish to be stingy in the
matter of dowry; but, we really think the best way of settling the
rat her delicate question of the amount, would be to say to Prussia,—
"We will double wha'ever sum you are willing to give your son, to
settle on our daughter." Not knowing what may happen in Prussia,
we think that everything we give should he settled on the young lady,
for her own separate use ; and we should like some arrangement to be
made with some respectable insurance office in England, for insuring
the Prussian Monarchy.
A set of questions could easily be framed for the occasion; and we
would suggest, that the ordinary inquiries as to small-pox and other
maladies might be replaced, by asking whether there had been any
symptoms ot " democratic fever," " republican rash," " popular erup-
tion," or " revolutionary outbreak." With proper precaution, these
symptoms are easily to be avoided, and there may be no danger to
apprehend; but, nevertheless, we should be glad for the sake of a
Royal daughter of England, that a perfect assurance could be effected
for the Prussian Monarchy.

ebenezer and education.
It appears that the great obstacle to general education is the liberty
of the subject, which is supposed to be inconsistent with any law
compelling parents to send their children to school. This difficulty is
insuperable, if every Englishman is to be permitted to do what he
likes with his own, including under that head his own children. But
then, he ought to be allowed to starve his offspring if he thinks fit, for
it is quite as reasonable that he should deny them material food as that
he should withhold from them mental nourishment. Moreover, by
famishing their bodies, he puts an end to them, whereas, in mere!y
starving their minds, he causes them to grow up thieves and ruffians,
and rears nuisances to Society. Ebenezeh, therefore, when he opposes
national education under the pretence of a zeal for liberty, should also
advocate the right of parents to dispose of their children in whatever
manner they please. This would deprive Jack Ketch of some work—
of all the employment which he gets by infanticide; and would in some
degree diminish the force of the argument for general education,
derived from the fact that the want of it fills our prisons.
If Ebenezer would take this line, he would make a show, at least,
of consistency, and might succeed in disguising ihe contemptible
sectarian spirit whereby it is manifest that, in opposing every scheme
for the education of the people, the cavilling little-minded bigot is
really actuated.
The Rising Generation.—Young Italy.