DOI issue:
October 24, 1857
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16620#0179
October 24, 1857.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
169
THE MEMBER TO PAY.
Curious legislatorial experi-
ment, is, according to the
Papers, about to be tried at
Greenwich. The Radical
electors there having made
two exceedingly practical pro-
tests against a property quali-
fication by voting for a Mr.
Sleigh, who did not get in,
and for a Mr. Townsend,
who did, and has since been
made a bankrupt, are, we
read, about to enforce the
doctrine of paying Members
of Parliament, by putting
Mr. Townsend on a salary.
We do not hear the figure
at which the honourable
member's services are to be
estimated, but it ought to be
a good one, for the representing such a constituency as that of Greenwich is certainly some-
thing for which even an undertaker, (such, we are apprised, is Mr. Townsend s social status)
ought to be compen sated. Be this as it may, we hope that he will insist upon quarterly or
half-yearly payments, for the dignity of his order. It could not be pleasant lor an under-
taker and statesman of delicate feelings to have to take his money weekly, with comments
from his employers as to the mode in which the hebdomadal guerdon had been earned.
Imagine a politician being addressed across a table: "There's your money, Iownsend,
and we have made no deduction for your staying away from the House on lhursday,
because you say jou had a bad cold, and wanted to put your feet m hot water; or,
" Townsend, you were not in your place until seven o'clock on Tuesday, nor untd eight on
Friday. We don't want to be hard upon you, but a bargain is a bargain.' Or, even more
pleasantly: "Mr. Townsend, you will find a hextra trifle in that bit of paper, as a small
acknowledgment of the way you came out on
Hindia." Moreover, will the honourable under-
taker have to give a receipt, and if he is to be
paid more than two pounds a week, (which is
not too much, considering omnibus-hire,) who
wdl pay for the penny stamp, the statesman, or
Greenwich ?
The Constituency must think over all this,
because, unless they are going to subsidise their
member in a gentlemanly manner, we know
what advice we shall give him, should he honour
us by asking it; and that is, to be convinced
by Mr. Hayter, at his earliest convenience,
that any decent place in the gift of Government
is preferable to being paid over the counter,
with commentaries. And if Mr. Townsend
(who is an auctioneer as well as an undertaker)
can get Greenwich to bid against Lord Pal-
merston, the M.P. may with perfect fairness
run up the bidding until he has done a good
thing for himself. At all events we have given
him the hint, and if the Greenwich folks do
not behave singularly well, they ought not to be
surprised at Mr. Townsend's some day pla-
carding their excessively dirty borough with a
version of a poem, which doubtless he has often
caused to be affixed upon the memorials of their
relatives—He can date it from a back Treasury
bench.
" Weep not for me, constituents dear,
I am not lost, but sitting here;
You paid me such a paltry fee,
I took a place from Viscount P."
MYSTERIES OE THE CITY.
A Gentleman connected with the Money Market, Mr. R. Tre-
ltnnick, issues a weekly circular, from which, amusement as well as
information appears to be derivable. In one of these documents
recently published, we are told that " Edward, 9 to 9-]-, has become a
general favourite;" from which statement the inference might be
(iravvn that Edward was a nice boy. It is further stated that
" Kelly Bray consists of 5,000 shares." Everybody has heard of a
man made of money, but the idea of a man made of shares will be new
i o most people. Allusion is also made to a certain Old Tolgus, who
may be supposed to be some gentleman advanced in years, and pro-
bably a fogy, bearing a nickname. "Alfred Consols" is likewise
mentioned, and some of our readers will perhaps surmise that the
Alfred with that peculiarly interesting surname, is a character in a
farce, though "Lady Bertha," named a little farther on, savours
rather of melo-drama. " North Erances," and " South Erances,"
are among the names specified- and they seem inversions of
nomenclature; Christian names and surnames standing in the relation
of cart to horse, or cart to mare, the vehicle placed before the quadru-
ped. We are informed that "Great Alfred sold last Thursday
£1,203 worth of copper ore." Who is Great Alfred? it will be
naturally inquired. Is our second Alfred the Great a great copper-
merchant, or a great auctioneer, or a great what ?
This curious circular, moreover, abounds in very strange and mys-
terious expressions. Eor instance, "The 16 end men are rising against
the winze, sinking below the adit—both in orey ground." Some sus-
picion may be entertained that Mr. Tredinnick's orthography "is
what the drapers call inferior, whilst those who feel that misgiving
will at the same time wonder what he can possibly mean by the
announcement that sixteen end men are rising against the winds.
Can an insurrection be the thing intended, or a strike? —but
the winds are no authorities; neither do they constitute a firm or
a Co. The doubt about the spelling of Mr. T. will be materially
increased by the perusal of his subsequent remark that "Poldice is
also looking better;" Poldice being conceived to be the peculiarly
written and abbreviated name of a young lady, properly called Mary
Dice. The production before us will finally be likely to be regarded
as questionable in point of taste; for it certainly has the appearance
ol being replete with slang, whereof the following sentence may be
thought to present examples. "At St. Day United a stope above the
124 is valued for tin at 81 per fathom." We know the meaning of tin;
but what is a stope ? By this time the reader will want to know, what
the odd statements above quoted really relate to, unless he knows as
well as we do, that they are particulars of mining intelligence. We
take this opportunity of suggesting, that the authors of trade circulars
and reports, and writers of money-articles, should append a glossary to
then- compositions; and also that an enterprising publisher might make
Vol. 33.
a good speculation by bringing out a Companion for the City, explain-
ing the technical terms used in business, and the Mammonisms of the
Stock Exchange. An appropriate title for such a book would be, " The
Commercial Slang Dictionary."
RHODOMONTADE RUN MAD.
E are wrong to be annoyed at the insults
lavishly flung at England by the Univers,
Spectateur, Gazette de France, and other mad
Ultramontane papers. Shouldn't we laugh
at the Erench, if they took serious offence
at any insulting nonsense that the Record,
or the Churchman, or the Morning A ivertiser
chose to indulge in at the expense of
Erance ? Bigotry is much the same all over
the world. Its wild antics are too ridi-
culous for anger, and should only provoke
laughter instead of indignation. Rions !
MORE REFORMS.
The eminent Jockey-Statesman, Lord
Derby, has given notice of a measure for
Turf Reform, which is, at least, as likely to
give satisfaction as Lord Palmerston's for
Reform of another kind. The Earl proposes, "That all bets on
handicaps made previously to the publication of the weights shall
be null and void." Very well; but why not the Earl and his party
carry the same just princirjle into politics ? Why not decide that
" all attacks made on the proceedings of a Government, until it is
known what they are, shall be deemed unfair ? " To be sure, it would
throw Mr. Disraeli out of employment, but compensation might be
arranged. Does not the Earl want a helper in some of his stables ?
Punch knows nobody who can toss about a litter more vigorously than
Ben, to say nothing of his preternatural talent at finding mares' nests.
one who clearly knows himself.
A Celebrated flute-player, who was asked, "What is a Man?"
answered quite naively, " Why, a man is a very stupid animal: at least,
judging, as far as one can, from oneself."
A Plucky Reply.—A Candidate for the Civil Service, being asked
to name the principal divisions of the Anglo-Saxon race, answered,
Epsom and Newmarket.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
169
THE MEMBER TO PAY.
Curious legislatorial experi-
ment, is, according to the
Papers, about to be tried at
Greenwich. The Radical
electors there having made
two exceedingly practical pro-
tests against a property quali-
fication by voting for a Mr.
Sleigh, who did not get in,
and for a Mr. Townsend,
who did, and has since been
made a bankrupt, are, we
read, about to enforce the
doctrine of paying Members
of Parliament, by putting
Mr. Townsend on a salary.
We do not hear the figure
at which the honourable
member's services are to be
estimated, but it ought to be
a good one, for the representing such a constituency as that of Greenwich is certainly some-
thing for which even an undertaker, (such, we are apprised, is Mr. Townsend s social status)
ought to be compen sated. Be this as it may, we hope that he will insist upon quarterly or
half-yearly payments, for the dignity of his order. It could not be pleasant lor an under-
taker and statesman of delicate feelings to have to take his money weekly, with comments
from his employers as to the mode in which the hebdomadal guerdon had been earned.
Imagine a politician being addressed across a table: "There's your money, Iownsend,
and we have made no deduction for your staying away from the House on lhursday,
because you say jou had a bad cold, and wanted to put your feet m hot water; or,
" Townsend, you were not in your place until seven o'clock on Tuesday, nor untd eight on
Friday. We don't want to be hard upon you, but a bargain is a bargain.' Or, even more
pleasantly: "Mr. Townsend, you will find a hextra trifle in that bit of paper, as a small
acknowledgment of the way you came out on
Hindia." Moreover, will the honourable under-
taker have to give a receipt, and if he is to be
paid more than two pounds a week, (which is
not too much, considering omnibus-hire,) who
wdl pay for the penny stamp, the statesman, or
Greenwich ?
The Constituency must think over all this,
because, unless they are going to subsidise their
member in a gentlemanly manner, we know
what advice we shall give him, should he honour
us by asking it; and that is, to be convinced
by Mr. Hayter, at his earliest convenience,
that any decent place in the gift of Government
is preferable to being paid over the counter,
with commentaries. And if Mr. Townsend
(who is an auctioneer as well as an undertaker)
can get Greenwich to bid against Lord Pal-
merston, the M.P. may with perfect fairness
run up the bidding until he has done a good
thing for himself. At all events we have given
him the hint, and if the Greenwich folks do
not behave singularly well, they ought not to be
surprised at Mr. Townsend's some day pla-
carding their excessively dirty borough with a
version of a poem, which doubtless he has often
caused to be affixed upon the memorials of their
relatives—He can date it from a back Treasury
bench.
" Weep not for me, constituents dear,
I am not lost, but sitting here;
You paid me such a paltry fee,
I took a place from Viscount P."
MYSTERIES OE THE CITY.
A Gentleman connected with the Money Market, Mr. R. Tre-
ltnnick, issues a weekly circular, from which, amusement as well as
information appears to be derivable. In one of these documents
recently published, we are told that " Edward, 9 to 9-]-, has become a
general favourite;" from which statement the inference might be
(iravvn that Edward was a nice boy. It is further stated that
" Kelly Bray consists of 5,000 shares." Everybody has heard of a
man made of money, but the idea of a man made of shares will be new
i o most people. Allusion is also made to a certain Old Tolgus, who
may be supposed to be some gentleman advanced in years, and pro-
bably a fogy, bearing a nickname. "Alfred Consols" is likewise
mentioned, and some of our readers will perhaps surmise that the
Alfred with that peculiarly interesting surname, is a character in a
farce, though "Lady Bertha," named a little farther on, savours
rather of melo-drama. " North Erances," and " South Erances,"
are among the names specified- and they seem inversions of
nomenclature; Christian names and surnames standing in the relation
of cart to horse, or cart to mare, the vehicle placed before the quadru-
ped. We are informed that "Great Alfred sold last Thursday
£1,203 worth of copper ore." Who is Great Alfred? it will be
naturally inquired. Is our second Alfred the Great a great copper-
merchant, or a great auctioneer, or a great what ?
This curious circular, moreover, abounds in very strange and mys-
terious expressions. Eor instance, "The 16 end men are rising against
the winze, sinking below the adit—both in orey ground." Some sus-
picion may be entertained that Mr. Tredinnick's orthography "is
what the drapers call inferior, whilst those who feel that misgiving
will at the same time wonder what he can possibly mean by the
announcement that sixteen end men are rising against the winds.
Can an insurrection be the thing intended, or a strike? —but
the winds are no authorities; neither do they constitute a firm or
a Co. The doubt about the spelling of Mr. T. will be materially
increased by the perusal of his subsequent remark that "Poldice is
also looking better;" Poldice being conceived to be the peculiarly
written and abbreviated name of a young lady, properly called Mary
Dice. The production before us will finally be likely to be regarded
as questionable in point of taste; for it certainly has the appearance
ol being replete with slang, whereof the following sentence may be
thought to present examples. "At St. Day United a stope above the
124 is valued for tin at 81 per fathom." We know the meaning of tin;
but what is a stope ? By this time the reader will want to know, what
the odd statements above quoted really relate to, unless he knows as
well as we do, that they are particulars of mining intelligence. We
take this opportunity of suggesting, that the authors of trade circulars
and reports, and writers of money-articles, should append a glossary to
then- compositions; and also that an enterprising publisher might make
Vol. 33.
a good speculation by bringing out a Companion for the City, explain-
ing the technical terms used in business, and the Mammonisms of the
Stock Exchange. An appropriate title for such a book would be, " The
Commercial Slang Dictionary."
RHODOMONTADE RUN MAD.
E are wrong to be annoyed at the insults
lavishly flung at England by the Univers,
Spectateur, Gazette de France, and other mad
Ultramontane papers. Shouldn't we laugh
at the Erench, if they took serious offence
at any insulting nonsense that the Record,
or the Churchman, or the Morning A ivertiser
chose to indulge in at the expense of
Erance ? Bigotry is much the same all over
the world. Its wild antics are too ridi-
culous for anger, and should only provoke
laughter instead of indignation. Rions !
MORE REFORMS.
The eminent Jockey-Statesman, Lord
Derby, has given notice of a measure for
Turf Reform, which is, at least, as likely to
give satisfaction as Lord Palmerston's for
Reform of another kind. The Earl proposes, "That all bets on
handicaps made previously to the publication of the weights shall
be null and void." Very well; but why not the Earl and his party
carry the same just princirjle into politics ? Why not decide that
" all attacks made on the proceedings of a Government, until it is
known what they are, shall be deemed unfair ? " To be sure, it would
throw Mr. Disraeli out of employment, but compensation might be
arranged. Does not the Earl want a helper in some of his stables ?
Punch knows nobody who can toss about a litter more vigorously than
Ben, to say nothing of his preternatural talent at finding mares' nests.
one who clearly knows himself.
A Celebrated flute-player, who was asked, "What is a Man?"
answered quite naively, " Why, a man is a very stupid animal: at least,
judging, as far as one can, from oneself."
A Plucky Reply.—A Candidate for the Civil Service, being asked
to name the principal divisions of the Anglo-Saxon race, answered,
Epsom and Newmarket.