Punch: Punch (33.1857)

ISO PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 31, 1857.

choicest contents to Manchester ? Echo answers in the affirmative.
For months the nation has been revelling in the rich stores thus
brought together; and it is agreed in society, that the man who has
not seen the Art-Treasures has seen nothing. And then cometh our
welf-beloved Deane in his second Avatar, and banishing the public
from his sight, and kicking Donald, the extortionate suttler, into
infinite space, he makes such restoration as did the Iron Duke when
he bade the Louvre render up to its lawful owners the spoils of a
Continent.

And therefore Mr. Punch deems that some signal honour should be

conferred upon the said Napoleon-Wellington-Deane. Knight-
hood ! Bah ! They knight mayors, and aldermen, and all sorts of fat
cattle. Baronetcy! Why, Sir John Shelley's a baronet, and
Dundas Christopher Hamilton Nisbet means to be one. Baron!
Pooh, Robert Grosvenor's a baron; and so we could run up to the
top, or exceeding near it, of the ladder of honour-. What shall be done
unto Napoleon-Wellington-Deane for that which he has done ?
_ We will consider of it, and the public shall know the result. Mean-
time, it is not a bad instalment of his reward, that Mr. Bunch claps him
on the back, and says " Bono, Johns y ! "

I, j y ^^>-__<rrriv n/ty- /itCLCQ^, / / \ (P\

" Ay, ay," said the Sergeant, " I know that won't do.

Here take this, my lad—you understand :
This will much better suit a fine fellow like you :"

And a shilling he slipped in his hand.

It closed on the coin, and the napkin let drop.

" I'11 hand plates," cried the waiter, "no more;
Let girls serve in Tavern as well as in Shop ! "—

He is now on his way to Cawnpore.

OMENTAL ORTHOGRAPHY.

<t used to be a rule in orthography that q is always followed by u.
fo this rule even an exception has, however, been presented by Mr.
W. N. Lees, who, in a letter to the Post, spells Koran with a q
simply instead of a K—" Qoran." This gentleman signs himself
"Principal of the Mohnmmudun College, Calcutta." His ortho-
graphical notions appear to be peculiar. We have seen Mahomet's
book spelt Kuran, and his own name all manner of odd ways; but
none of the methods of spelling either the Prophet's name or his
book that we have before met with have equalled in eccentricity
" iVl ohummud " and "Qoran." In writing " Mohummudun " for
"Mahometan," Mr. Lees appears to have completely "done it."

THE WARRIOR AND THE WAITER.

A Sergeant, recruiting, his energies spent,

And was forced to recruit his own frame ;
So into a Tavern and Chophouse he went.

He called, and a tall waiter came.

" A steak ! " said the Soldier, and, " Cook ! a rump-steak ! "

The waiter immediately cried.
" Any beer, ale or porter, Sir? which would you take ? "

" Pint of stout! " the bold Sergeant replied.

The steak soon was brought, with potatoes and bread,

And one thing to state I forgot,
That his steak when he ordered, the customer said,

That he with it would have a 'chalot.

To follow, the Sergeant then ordered stewed cheese;

And, having sufficiently dined.
Cried, " Hoy, there ! a glass of mixed punch, if you please ;

And let it be hot, young man, mind."

The tumbler of punch soon our hero drank out,

And then summoned the waiter, to say
" Rump-steak, 'chalot, taters, one bread, pint of stout,

And stewed-cheese, and mixed punch. What's to pay ? "

" Two-and-eight," was the answer : the Sergeant put clown

On the table before him the sum,
With a penny moreover : at which single " brown"

The dissatisfied waiter looked glum.

A Eit of Pig.

The Siecle has been lately giving the details of a stupendous project
for connecting England and Trance by means of a submarine tunnei.
The projector of the scheme is a certain M. A. Thome be Gamosd,
To an English ear this sounds very much like Gammon.