Punch (35.1858)

July 17, 185b.j

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

21

THE SAINTS OF ALMACK'S.

To the Editor of the "Record."

Sir,—In a well-known
fashionable daily pa-
per I find the sub

Patronesses simply serious ladies of different
denominations ? Beseeching the favour of an
answer to these earnest inquiries,

" I remain, affectionately yours,

" Simon Pure."

*** Lest the Record should not be in a position
joined interesting , to afford Mr. Pure the information which he
statement, under the requires, we may satisfy his curiosity by stating,
that the gatherings at Almack's are meetings
at which the worship of Terpsichore is chiefly
celebrated. We may add, that the elite who
gatherings is, that they j assist thereat do not dance m separate groups
enable many wealthy of gentlemen and ladies, after the manner recom-
n^W^fSH 1°™/™ mended by a popular preacher. The " Spurgeon

vne cute oi tne ijonuon r\ j mi 55 l i • t i i • i n

fashionable world in a Quadrilles nave been introduced into other
more agreeable manner dancing-rooms; but these latter are not fre-
tban any other means quented by the fashionable elect— Punch.

could afford.

head of ' Almack's :

" One of the great ad
vantages of these pleasant

" What a happy
arrangement must
that be which serves
to bring country fa-
milies that have been
blessed with worldly
wealth into commu-
nication with the elite
or elect of the
London fashionable
world, by whose con-
versation and exam-
ple they must neces-
sarily be directed to
the right employment
of their riches ! It is
cheering also to know

that there are any elect in the fashionable world; wherein they have heretofore generally been
considered scarce. Truly Almack's must be a delightful place, and its gatherings, doubtless,
are pleasant indeed. I can well understand that the liberty to mingle in them is a very great
privilege. In what connection is Almack's? Lady Huntingdon's? Or are its Lady

SINGULAR COINCIDENCE.

Taking up a Newspaper the other day, our
eye fell on the following, extracted from the
Banff Journal:—

" All parties who have taken observations throughout
the winter, say that their plumage was never more bril-
liant, their combs brighter, or their crowing louder."

We thought this must be a London Cor-
respondent's description of the Ministry. On
looking a little further, however, we found it
was the Editor's own account of the grouse.
If all the Journal says be true, Ministers and
Birds will be well matched on the I2th of
August.__

Parliamentary Intelligence. — We sup-
pose that Baron Rothschild cau now be called
a Member of the House of Commons de Jewre as
well as de facto.

KEEPING UP A LONG LINE OF CORRESPONDENCE. SUMMONING AN EVIL SPIRIT.

We read that Professor Hughes, with his wonderful printing * T a Meeting the other day of the Parliament-

telepraph machines, wasi enabled at Plymouth to^wnte^ through the. J \ ary Committee on the State of the Thames,

) M/\Ilk a sin»u^ar^ dramatic incident occurred. The

Mj/ \j |\ subjoined extract, from a report of the exami-

M\7 \ l\ nation of a witness, presents a lively idea

M\L_\ \k of it: —

3,000 miles of Atlantic cable, at the rate of thirty-two letters per
minute." That is something like a correspondence ! We only wish
we could knock off our letters as quickly. Ladies, however, might
object to corresponding through such a channel, for though their com-
munications might be everything that was desirable in the way of .....

i- i j a i J a )> i'n j-u „ • tj i • . ' ii 1 Bill/ \ IX By Mr. Titb. If these expensive furnaces were

linked Sweetness long drawn OUt, Still they might Object On the , \\MVS \ \ formed, it might relieve the streets from the offensive

ground of their being so extremely "wire-drawn." By the bye, the , j ffm'isS Xlk smells from the guiiey-holes, but it would not relieve

ji *SF!TH5S~. ,iiiuii.,7~™^ river from its present stench.

;Vj '|W^^^^iSlnilP&lBy*^ " l-^ tn'8 a steamer passed up the river, and

'{^JfJ/CBg^ | i^^&TBWl j?s ^he stench coming into the Committee-room was so

I H/IS Wfw-^ great that all the windows were immediately ordered

/ilillwSilb-Jii Cll'i^ to be closed.]"

The stench came upon its cue :—

" The bell then beating one—
Peace, break thee off; look where it comes again

above rapidity of communication will be the ruin of our penny-a-liners
Fancy transmitting the President's Message by the Atlantic cable.
As it would resolve itself, knotty points and all, into only one line, so
our poor penny-a-liner would receive for the transmission of it only
one penny. Measured by the same rule, the longest yarn about the
American Sea Serpent would not amount to more. We are afraid

that the creative geniuses, who fill OUT Columns with Vegetable and 1 _I 7~ M Peace, break thee off; look whSref it comes again !'

meteorological phenomena, will find their imaginative profession com- ^Sagl"^jti ,, , , ., ,, », , .

pletely snared and killed, as dead as any Welsh rabbit, by this long \ ^*m> More prompt, however, than the Ghost in

wire. In the meantime, the penny-a-liner's fate is mercifully suspended, ; , , . . Hamlet, the Demon of the ihames- had only

inasmuch as the chain has come once more to an open rupture, owing to be named to bring him up. talk ot that devil indeed, and lie

to several of the links, that should constitute its unity and strength, i appears to the Committee of legislators in an olfactory, it not a

having broken out again, and proved their inveterate snappishness. ! visible, form. A very good thing too. Actually to sit upon a body

i may not be necessary lor a coroner s jury; but, tor the chance

— that something will be done to purify the Thames, it is lucky that

mTT_, TTm, , o.-r^To, -i—\~r Tiirnr tott Parliament is holdingan inquest thereon with the nuisance under its

THE LIFE OF A FRENCH SAINT IN ENGLISH. nose. Parliament is obliged to smell the River whilst talking about it,

Our orthodox readers may thank us for the information that the ^d not only that but fortunately also whilst it is talking of other

subjoined advertisement appeared the other day in the English <\mSs ),for lf the Thamf^ever *ade jtfelf *enslbf 111 ,thfe H°u but
Churchman__ wnen ^ was mentioned there, the reply of our legislators to every

" Copyright Translation. Third Edition, i,. fid. complaint against it would be, " Don't mention it! "

LA TRAVIATA. The Tale upon which the Opera is founded, namely,
The Lady with the Camellias, is published by Georqe Vickbrs, Angel Court,
Strand.

We of course presume that the work above announced is the Edifying
Edition of the Dame aux Camellias. No doubt it is accompanied with
the notes of an eminent Divine, whose principles coincide with those
of the English Churchman, although we are not told the name of the
reverend commentator.

Military Proverb.—Sell the Kit and get the Cat.

The Readiest of Beady Reckoners.

Short reckonings make long friends; but, perhaps, no reckonings
at all make the longest friends. With Mb. Cox Hughes, however,
long reckonings make it long indeed before his friends come again.

Why are the Trafalgar Square fountains like Government Clerks i
Because they play from 10 till 4.