Punch (35.1858)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

11

THE MUSIC SHOW AT SYDENHAM.

DELICACIES OF THE ELVER.

" Mr. Punch !

" Sir, in my opinion we have heard a
great deal too much about the state of the
.Thames. What I say is, that if fish can live in
it, human beings ought to be able to stand it.
The panic which some people affect to feel about
the state of the River cannot equal the alarm
and consternation with which I read the follow-
ing passage in the report of a Parliamentary
speech of Sib, Joseph Paxton's :—

0 their Flower Shows and
Shower Plows (this latter
word has birth in the spray
of the Great Fountains) the
Directors of the Crystal Pal-
ace now are wisely adding
Music Shows. Unthinking
minds may fancy that, as
music is addressed to the ear,
not to the eye, it is some-
what of a Taurism to say
there has been a " Show " of
it. But a concert like last
Friday's, with its acre of per-
formers, and its square mile
or more of audience, appealed
not less to the ocular than to
the aural sense. A blind man
or a deaf one might alike

[!j J !i|fi<fl^l ~h—""WIMWk ft ' have been delighted with it.
!' ! | Rk; M/ /^ItP^SlssL j*^?5?!$N3am'\ Besides, whoever cavils at our
/ ^J^Wre 9 J^^^@^^«^^i^^^H| ! calling it a Music Show may
S^&^^^^hf^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^mf De silenced by a reference to
*^^^^W^J'^C^^^~^^^j\ V^^^K" "^5^^^ the official programme. The
^sggM-,,^~m i i 11 ill (%iuhjjmL mj iljAy UIIw i)p n 1111 ywtfjV concert is there termed a

~"*as"**1!T_^ Choral Demonstration; and

--*<f 'iB_ " Dr. Johnson's synonym for

this big word is Show. Quod

est Demonstrandum. Argal, Punch is right, as usual, in his coinage; and, as the words
struck from his mint invariably pass current, the nest "Grand Choral Demonstration"
will be more simply called a Music Show, and will not upon that account, Punch bets, prove
less attractive.

Opera-goers are welL used to hear music in a hot-house: and there therefore was small
fear that Sir Joseph Paxton's green-house would be found too hot to hold them. Indeed,
grilled as they've been lately, with thermometers at midnight standing at 100° in the

coolest shade procurable—that is, we should say, in the shade of Aristocracy — we think ! support animal life. Let us have no more abuse
that the habitues of Covent Garden and Her Majesty's, must have felt a new sensation in ; of the gentle River "
listening to music in a comfortable temperature, and where they could respire without the
exercise of fanning. Moreover, in a floral point of view, the Great Green-house at Syden-
ham surpasses both the London hot-houses. The bouquets in Covent Garden are growing
more and more gigantic every season, but they can't quite yet come up to the Crystal Palace
flower-baskets : and there is no green in the, eyes of the frequenters of the Haymarket,
so freshly verdant as the leaves of the orange-trees at Sydenham. Comparisons are
" odorous :" but even in a nasal point, the C. P. has just now undoubtedly the best of it.

We are sure the dauntless Lumley and the indefatigable Gye do everything they can to
keep their houses in good odour. But fresh air in London is not so easily imported
as fresh pine-apples and cherries ; and, disguise it as we may with pleasanter perfumery,
there is just now an all-pervading something in the air (an air-dresser might christen it
Bouquet de la Tamise, or Concentrated Sewer Scent) which, follow our noses where we may,
we can't, in town at least, get out of them.

But how about the music? cries some unbiassable critic, who has in his wisdom been
reserving his opinion until he ascertains what Mr. Punch's may be. We regret to disappoint
him, but our hatred of routine will not allow us to indulge in musical criticism. Critics must
look elsewhere for the cut and dried phrases on which they pin their faith. Mr. Punch went
to the Music Show solely to enjoy himself; and he therefore cleared his mind of all idea
of being critical. Mr. Punch has a notion fit may be a mistaken one), that the man who, at
a concert, listens as a critic can't have much enjoyment in it. The hearing of the music is
a business, not a pleasure, to him. "With his ears stretched to their utmost to detect the
flaws, he has no aural power left him to appreciate the beauties. To write about a concert
without mentioning the music will certainly be varying from the regular routine; and,

as variety is charming, Mr. Punch by this course will best keep up his character. ^ye were merry we were merry,

Nevertheless, as in these days of Rampant Puseyism some sort of auricular confession
will doubtless be expected of him, Mr. Punch, (speaking not as a professed critic, but as
one who has enjoyed it) is " free to own " that the Music Show at Sydenham was as pleasant
as the temperature in which he sat and listened to it. In both respects the green-house had
the better of the hot-house. The varied bill of fare which was presented at the Sydenham
feast formed an appetising contrast to the toujours Verdi diet with which the British opera-
goer has of late been sickened. The morceaux of Mozart, and Mendelssohn, and Roast-
beee (this latter is the musical synonym for Handel) which were put before us last Friday
afternoon showed that Mr. Costa, the celebrated chef, was as choice in his selection as in his
serving up. Every dainty dish was fit to " set before a king ;" and King Punch is pleased
accordingly to intimate His relish of them, and to state that, long before His aural feast
was finished, the taste of Traviata was clean gone from His mouth.

Mutato Nomine de te Fabula Narratur.

The Thames, following the example of other individuals whose designations, like them-
selves, stink in the nostrds of the public, has resolved on changing its name, and figuring
in future as the River Oder.

" Water, water, a'.l around
And not a drop to drink."

" His plan would deodorize the sewers, but it would
kill the fish and discolour the water."

" The plan alluded to by Sir Joseph was that
of throwing lime into the sewers. Sir, I hope
—Sir, I say I do hope, and trust — that this
plan will not be adopted. If unhappily it
should, what, let me ask, with every rational
mind—what would become of the whitebait?
The fluid in which those delicate creatures swim
cannot be so bad as it is represented to be
when they, which come out of it, are so good
to eat. As long as the Thames does not smell
strong enough to poison the whitebait, at any
rate I am sure that it won't poison me,

" Your obedient Servant,

" GORGIAS PUDDLEDOCK."

" City, July, 1858."

" P.S.—They say the Thames smells worst at
low water, but if we are to believe all they tell
us on that subject, the Thames must be always
High water. But what I maintain is, that high
Thames, like high venison, is not too high to

TO THE IRISH MEMBERS.

Air—" I Reraember, I Iieme»iber."

Irish Member, Irish Member,

The year is fleeting by,
The House met in December,

And won't sit beyond July ;
For your row, Sir, for your row, Sir,

We once had time to spare ;
But your summer prosing now, Sir,

Is more than we can bear.

Once your flowers, once your flowers

Of speech endured might be,
But now they fill up hours

Of supply and L. S. B.
Gems to night, Sir, gems to night, Sir,

Of eloquence forbear;
Folks now of faction fights, Sir,

Aren't so patient as they were.

When Butt or Whiteside came,
And the zeal of Londonderry
Match'd Tipperarx's flame.
Whde we've you, Sir, while we've you, Sir,

Such treats can not be rare ;
But with Cox and Ayrton too, Sir,
Tour bosh is scarcely fair.

A Joke of Doubtful Paternity,

" I say, Bernal, you know everything," ex-
claimed the other night a half asphyxiated
Member, who was vainly trying to deodorise
the Thames-stink through a scented pocket
handkerchief; "I say, Bernal, what has the
Thames done for us that we should call him
Father ?"—" Well, really, I can't saj," replied
our second Slbthorp; "unless it be we cail
him so, because we wish to see him Farther.'''