Punch (35.1858)

October 2, 1858.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

133

NEW OMNIBUS REGULATION.

' Werry sorry'm, hut yer' I 'av to leave yer Krinerline outside."

WHAT AN EXPRESSION !

Strange, oftentimes, is
the language of endearment
—not always easily to be
distinguished from the dia-
lect of derision! Who
would like to be addressed
by the appellation bestowed
on the object of the follow-
ing appeal, which appeared
the other day in the second
column of the Times ?—

DEAR BOOBLES. — Do
pray write to Trot, and
relieve the auxiety caused by
absence.

Boobles ! What a nick-
name ! What a familiarity
to address anybody with
such an expression! The
word suggests the notion
of a party possessed of a
generally weak mind with
predominating benevolence
and love of approbation.
That, in fact, was the cele-
brated Dr. Spurzheim's
definition of the term Booby,
of which there is every rea-
son to fear that Boobles
is the diminutive.

A Stop to the Grinding
Organ.

The best way to get rid
of the organ-grinding plague
would be that of putting
down the establishments of
the padrones, who grind the
wretched grinders. This
would be attacking the
organ nuisance at its root,
and destroying the whole
organization.

ILL-DIRECTED LOYE.

(a recent greenwich tragedy, by policeman x.)

When Mr. T. had wrote and seal'd those precious billets doux,
(Not thinking there are powers above such treach'ry to confuse)
His hand by Cupid guided—that blind young archer-boy—
Miss Mountjoy's did direct " Lazarre," and Miss Lazarre's

Mr. T. Blank was a party to pleasure much inclined, " Mountjoy."

He were fond of whitebait dinners and of taking too much wind : \ nave given a sovran to have been upon the ground,

And who he gallivanted with he didn't mind a bit.
In fact, a bow with many strings, that any miss might hit.

In Greenwich dwelt this Thomas, and near him fair and coy,
Inhabited a sempstress, which her name it was Mountjoy ;
(Theresa by her Christian name), and in an 'ouse not far,
There dwelt another sempstress, Miss Julia Lazarre.

Now Thomas, it appears, from the sequel of this case,

To both those lovely sempstresses, with an unblushing face,

Had paid his court—I wonder 'owever it was done—

Till—along of his duplicity—their two young 'earts was won.

This Thomas wrote a letter, which he meant, for Miss Mountjoy,
And the height of loving language in it he did employ;
" Dearest Theresa, don't refuse this evening me to meet,
As I should find your company at eight o'clock most sweet.

" We '11 meet upon the bridge that atop o' the lane doth lie,
And while the stars are twinkling a walk we will enjoy ;
Do not let Julia know of this, and bring the baby, mind—
Yours dearly and affectionately, Thomas," so 'twas signed.

Now that same evening Mr. T. had made a rendezvous
With Julia—see what sempstresses will be and go and do !—
And to soothe the disappointment of the injured Miss Lazarre,
He wrote exactly in the words, that here reported are:

" Dear Julia,—you must not think your Thomas is unkind,
But an engagement will prevent my seeing you, I find,
This evening, as I proposed; to-morrow we will meet,
lours, ever dearly, Thomas,"—such was his base deceit.

Vol. 35.

When the postman did deliver these here letters on his round:
Miss L. she walked to Miss M.'s house, and " Miss Mountjoy,"
says she,

" Here's a letter, Miss, that's meant for you, though it's addressed
to me."

Then Miss M. took from her pocket the letter giv'n above,
And in an aggravating way it to Miss L. she guv :
Saying, " If you come to letters, Miss, from Mr. T. here's one,
That to your hands and not to mine, did ought for to have gone."

Then Miss L. upon Miss M. made so furious an attack,
That MissM. she went and locked herself in her parlour, two-pair back;
And Miss L. she tried to smash the door, but too strong the door
did find,

So she went and smashed the windey, such was her state of mind!

Of course Miss M. could not stand by, and submit to have her windey
Shivered to bits, so she rushed out, and then there was a shindy:
And language passed which never, you would fancy, could employ
A Theresa and a Julia, not to speak of a Mountjoy.

And this led to a summons, which the hearing was last week,
Before James Traill, or Secker, Esquire, the Greenwich beak;
And then on the inquiry came out, plain as A, B, C,
The letters of that artful and 'eartless Mr. T.

Now all young men be warn'd by this; if you've two strings to
your bow,

See and address your letters the way they ought to go:
And sempstresses, ere Mr. T.s jour peace of mind destroys,
Look out Julias, for Theresas ; Lazarres beware Mountjoys I