Punch (35.1858)

August 28, 1858. PUNCH, CR THE LONDON CTUKIVARI. S3

AQUATICS—WHEN THE BEES ARE SWARMING.

THE PEACE CONGRESS AT CHERBOURG.

Although the Emperor of the Erench is reputed a grave man,
there is no doubt that, at times, he is exceedingly facetious. The
rareness of his pleasantries may perhaps increase their drollness ; but
it is certain that his comic fits are always highly ludicrous. Notwith-
standing he be so outwardly sedate in bearing, the Emperor seems
inwardly ever pregnant with jocosity; and the rich vein of fun which
he brings now and then to light shines the brighter for the seriousness
in which it is imbedded.

As a specimen of the jokes which he occasionally cracks, we take
the following bit of humour from the speech he made at Cherbourg,
in reply to the address with which the Mayor received him. Half
shutting his left eye, and displaying the merriest of twinkles in his
right, said the Emperor :—

" I am happy to come to your city, to inaugurate in the midst of profound peace
those gigantic works which were commenced by the Emperor, my Uncle, in the
time of war."

Profound peace ! Now, what joke could be richer than to talk thus
of inaugurating "in the midst of profound peace," when every single
step in the inauguration process was attended with the banging of some
three thousand cannons. Having, doubtless, given orders for the most
thundering of rows, the Emperor proclaims that there's to be most
profound peace. What a " sell " for the poor Mayor, if, acting on the
faith of this Imperial remark, he took the cotton from his ears which
he had prudently been stuffing there ! Glancing at the picture which
the Times gives of the Fetes, in every other paragraph one finds phrases
like the following:—

" Fleets and forts repeated their tremendous welcome, and the continued roaring
of 3000 guns again thundered in our ears for more than twenty minutes. * * *
This deafening salute was kept up with such incessant rapidity of firing, that the
very frame of the listener seemed shaken, as if even the air smote him in its rever-
beration. * * * Their progress was marked with the same thundering compli-
ment from the French fleet which accompanied every incident of note upon the
water, and which shook the windows and knocked the soot out of the chimneys of
almost every house in Cherbourg, when the wind lay town-wards. * * * Again
the fleets saluted ; the English ships as usual firing 21 guns each, giving gun for
gun ; but the French, with that terrific cannonade of 101 guns from each, three
times repeated, till the whole town seemed shaken to its deepest foundations."

Profound peace! And this is what the Emperor considers "profound
peace!" To the Imperial collection of Idees Napoleoniennes should
assuredly be added his idea of " profound peace." It is completely
sui generis: characteristic of the man, and as noteworthy, we think, as
any of his notions. The Emperor's old dictum that L'Empire e'est la
mix must be read henceforward in rather a new light. Kicking up a
thundering row is the Imperial idea of keeping profound peace!

We have no wish to exaggerate; but as far as we have heard, the
Peace Congress at Cherbourg was one continual cannonade. Even at
this distance, of space as well as time, one's mental ears are deafened
by the echoes of the thunder. The Emperor arrives—bang go the
guns ! The Emperor goes to bed—bang go the guns! The Emperor
gets up again—bang go the guns ! The Emperor goes out—bang go
the guns ! The Emperor meets the Queen—bang go the guns ! The
Emperor says, " How d'ye do,"—bang go the guns! The Emi eror
says, " Good bye! "—bang go the guns!

Bang go the guns ! This was the key-note of the Imperial Peace
Congress. Everything went off to the same unvarying tune. There
was one unceasing roar throughout the whole proceedings. The only
reports listened to were those of 90-pounders. There were several
" great guns " in oratory present, but the only speeches audible were
from the mouths of the cannon.

Nevertheless, for all his flourishing his iron talons in our face, the
Erench Eagle is a dove: acknowledged bird of peace. Cherbourg is
his nest, and Cherbourg (have we not Imperial assurance of the fact ?)
has been inaugurated in the midst of profound and perfect peace. The
burnt-offering of gunpowder was intended as a peace-offering. Every
ramrod that was used for it, was in reality an olive-branch ; a smacking
kiss of friendship sounded loud in each salute. Even at Cherbourg,
I]Empire e'est la paix. According to the Emperor, Jupiter Tonans is
the deity of Peace!

QUOD AND QUARTERS.

What a good plan for the punishment of offenders it would he, to
convert all our barracks into gaols, and what a comfort it would be lor
the British soldier if we were to turn all our gaols into barracks!
Only then we should have more barracks than we want to accommodate
our gallant army, and too few gaols wherein to discipline our rogues
and thieves. But as the end of punishment is to reform, that end
would not be sufficiently consulted by the incarceration of criminals in
dungeons so filthy and wretched as to kill them off in very large
numbers. Therefore, although a shallow objection might be raised
against doing things by halves, we should content ourselves with
pulling down our barracks, and building others, as clean and commo-
dious as gaols, on their respective sites, or in more healthy and pleasant
situations. A British soldier ought to be rendered a little more
comfortable anyhow than a British convict.

Agricultural Intelligence.—It is confidently expected that the
harvest will be carried nem. con.