Punch (35.1858)

November 27, 1858.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 2,3

\

A SKETCH AT A RAILWAY STATION.

Respectable Citizen (reads Placard). " ' The Public are cautioned against Card-
Sharpers, Gamblers, and Pickpockets.' * * * Why, I thought such People

was all done away with. didn't you, MoV

A NOOK IN NEWGATE.

Tune—" In my Cottage near a Wood."

In my cosy prison-cell

Peace and comfort now are mine.
In your cottage you. may dwell,

Me let these four walls confine.
Here am I, serene and snug.

le who slave with ill-paid spell,
Oh, how jolly in the Jug !

In my cosy prison-cell!

It is warmed with nice hot air,

To whatever heat I please,
As I move that grating there,

At my pleasure and my ease.
If von handle I but turn,

I am answered like a bell:
Some one comes my want to learn,

In my cosy prison-cell.

With convenience 'tis replete,

Hammock and each thing beside;
And, to keep it cltan and sweet,

Lots of water are supplied.
Coves keep looking in to see

If I go on doing well;
Chaplain, doctor, visit me,

In my cosy prison-cell.

There is only one defect,

Which impairs my happy lot;
But to that I do object—

Can't enjoy my pipe and pot!
Water I've enough, and more

Than enough, for any swell;
But no gin, which is a bore,

In my cosy prison-cell!

The Anti-Confessional.

The way in which Lord Derby, in answer to the
pressing solicitations of Aldebhan Wire, refused to con-
fess his political creed at Guildhall, is only a proof how
strongly the Prime Minister of England is opposed to the
Confessional Movement!

TTTTVfD tfP * ¥P w \ atty D vt?f^iX) a f implied in the declaration, however unseasonable, of the British, if

lLMrERANbL. AIM) KLrOKM. | bosky Juryman. He had, most likely, been called upon to assist in the

administration of laws of which he possessed no voice in the making.
But then, on the other hand, let Mr. Bright and Mr. Ernest Jones
also observe, that if we may safely conclude this British Juror to have
been unrepresented, we may, with no less certainty, presume that he
was drunk.

What does our totally abstinent contemporary, the Band of Hope
Meview, sav to the following incident, which occurred the other day in
the Nisi Prius Court, Guildhall, before Mr. Justice Crompton, and
a Common Jury ?—

" The Jury having been sworn, one of the jurors said, Excuse me, my Lord, i
have taken the oath as a Christian ; i love the Bible : but i don't see why 1 should
be called upon to take an oath as a Christian before i have my rights as an
Englishman."

The law report just quoted, goes on to «ay that the Judge, on hearing
this altogether uncalled for and irrelevant observation, " looked
puzzled," but "unconcerned;" and that, "No one seemed to under-
stand the meaning of this sally, and no one appeared to care for it."

Does the Band of Hope Review understand the case? We should
think so. The sphere of usefulness of the teetotal missionary com-
prises, if it is not confined to, the slums. How often during his per-
ambulations in the paths of duty through those regions, has an
individual, who ought to be a working man, but is an idle one,
emerged suddenly from an establishment for the sale of alcoholic
liquors, tumbled up against his person, and addressed him in terms
nearly or exactly similar to the abrupt and seemingly impertinent
speech of the Guildhall Common Juror ! A very common juror,
doubtless, was this gentleman of the Jury; and probably there was the
same indistinctness in his utterance as that which is remarked by
teetotal missionaries in the pronunciation of similar gentlemen who
stagger out of gin-shops. " Excuse me— " articulated, so to speak,

GOOD NEWS FOR SUITORS.

We extract the following delightful piece of intelligence from tne
Express of Tuesday last:—

" Lord Campbell said, that owing to tho winter assizes, there would he great
difficulty in providing judicial power for the benefit of suitors."

Judge-power strikes us as being a very fine notion. We shall have
somebody inventing a battery next, for the production of judicial
power by electrical means, which will, no doubt, be a great saving to
the public. We shall then hear (for, of course, somebody will take
up our idea and properly elaborate it) of a trial being worked by sc
many Judge-power.

A Modem Miracle-Play.

The Correspondent of the Times at Paris mentions, that Monday
last week, being the Empress's Saint's day, Ste. Eugenie's day, was
celebrated with certain festivities, amongst which was a spectacle den
in a very peculiar ufenner, is the favourite exordium of all such orators^ saltimbanques. What could the spectacle have been ? The canonisation

whether they have fallen forward on anybody or no. If the learned
Judge who presided on the occasion in question had ever participated
in the experiences of the missionary, he would not have been puzzled,
and would have directed the gratuitously protesting Juror to withdraw.
He might, also, have fined him 5s. Yet let not these too evident con-
siderations blind us, and let them not blind Lord Derby, to the
equally evident probability that there was truth in the complaint

of Ste. Eugenie at Rome ?

conundrum for railway travellers.

Why are Railway Officials generally of a democratic turn P
Because it's a way they have, in arranging the carriages, oi setting
class against class."