DOI Heft:
July 17, 1858
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16622#0031
July 17, 1858.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
23
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
onday, July 5th. Lord Derby
stated that the Braw Highland-
man who is fighting the battles
in India had not yet written
home to say what title he would
like, but the moment he signified
his wishes on the subject, Sir
Colin should be created a Peer.
Lord Campbell has been in a
great state of alarm lest the
soldier should choose to be en-
nobled by his family name, in
which case the lawyer imagines
he shall be snuffed out. But
even if Sir Colin does choose
this, the other must not grumble.
He has got two peerages in his
family, and should not be greedy.
iSor need he be so modest as
everybody knows he is. We
shall read and admire the Lives of the Chancellor none t,he less for
being grateful to somebody else for extinguishing the Lives of the
Sepoys.
Lord Lyndhurst, naturally a little riled at the way he has been
treated on the Jew question, made some severe strictures on the Bill at
present passing, and declared that it had been drawn up by some gentle-
man who had been accustomed to charge for his words by their number,
not their value, and who had therefore stuck a great lot of nonsense
into the Bill. Lobd Clancarty professed awful fear of the measure,
on behalf of Her Majesty, who, Lord Clancarty is hereby informed,
is quite capable of taking care of Herself (with the aid of Mr. Punch)
without any patronising and protection from foolish Irish Peers. Lord
Derby intimated that the question had been considered, and that if
the two Houses passed the Bill, there was no intention, on the Queen's
part, to say La Reine s'avisera. Lyndhurst then, in no very good
temper, tore up his own Jew Bill, which was much better than the one
the Lords have assented to.
The Commons went on with India and the Scotch Universities,
but the question of the fete at Cremorne was the real one of the night,
and debates whether the Ladies had any right to turn the public
out, or whether, having that right, they were wise in exercising it,
mainly occupied the senators. Some members growled dreadfully at
being "expected to go," and abused women for their curiosity and
eternal love of sight-seeing; and some, who were most sarcastic on
this subject, Mr. Punch recognised as gentlemen specially fond of
slinking from the smoking-room, going to Westminster Bridge, and
thence by a boat to Cremorne; " not that they care about the place,
but a little fresh air is really necessary to a fellah."
Tuesday. The Lords did not do much, but what was done was in the
right direction; for Lord Ravensworth (the Horatian), meddling
with an Ecclesiastical Bill, in order to increase the power of the
Bishops, was set on by Lord Debby (the other Horatian) who
hkes knocking over Bishops occasionally; and the Peers, by 38 to 12
insertion in the Hebrew Emancipation Bill of a clause prohibiting any
such interference with the Christian pulpit.
Then came a solemn and an awful ceremonial. It became the duty
of the proper officials to intimate, at an early hour, to the convict
John Company, lying under sentence of death, that the time had
come for the law to be carried out, and that though, he had had many
reprieves, he must hope for no more. He received the news in sulky
silence, and not one word of penitence fell from him. In the evening,
about seven o'clock, the fatal procession was formed, and John
Company was led to his long and well deserved doom. He was at-
tended to the scaffold by the venerable Palmerston, who vainly sought
to impress upon him the righteousness of his fate, and who was
ably assisted by the benevolent Russell, who also explained to the
guilty creature in the clearest manner, that he deserved what was
coming upon him. The culprit, however, persevered in his stolid
silence, and even an attempt by a party called Roebuck, to get up a
row, possibly with a view to a rescue of the criminal, elicited no notice
from him. Mr. Disraeli then uttered a few well-chosen and impres-
sive words, congratulating all around him in having brought such an
offender to his end, and gave the fatal signal, on which Denison
finished the law. The cheers of the whole assembly evinced their
sense that stern justice had been done.
Gold has been found in New Caledonia, so law is naturally wanted
there, and Colonial Secretary Bulwer made his maiden attempt at
official legislation upon the young colony. And as all the Dubbn
Police are Popish, and consequently the Protestants have no con-
fidence in them (for in Ireland you must know a man's creed before
you can let him look after your spoons), the Government are
endeavouring to adjust the balance. But the Irish members will not
hear of such a thing, and threaten to talk till the end of August.
Friday. Lord Dungannon, taking the House en route for Cremorne
Gardens (where the rain utterly spoiled Society's fete, and Mr. Punch
hereby pours a libation in grateful honour of Jupiter Pluvius), made
a speech about glebe houses and clergymen, and to attune his mind to
the Cremorne business, had a discussion with the Bishop oe London.
In the Commons, Mr. Disraeli promised, in the next week, a
Bill for purifying Father Thames. Mr. Punch is too much excited at
the news to be able to do more than cry, "Go it, Ben!" and to
liquor. _
THE ENEMY OF THE ATLANTIC TELEGRAPH.
Far down underneath the Atlantic's vast billow,
The Telegraph Cable was sunk in the deep ;
In the bed of the sea it possessed such a pillow,
That philosophers fancied it snugly would sleep.
For the tempest that lashes the surface of ocean
Into mountainous waves, when the stormy winds blow,
Produces no sort of perceptible motion
In the depth of the water a few miles below.
The fact is, however, the Telegraph Cable
Has a second time failed in the lowermost main,
And why, all the sages are wholly unable,
By proof or conjecture, the cause to explain.
Nor is it a very great matter for wonder
voted against the Ravensworthian proposition. The tkm should puzzle the learned and wise.
India again, m the Commons, Lord Palmerston trying to insert a As touching the Cable 'tis like they would blunder,
variety of emendations of his own m the Bill, none of which would the Bei ou°t of their d th when th t where it Ues
Commons permit. Un one occasion, his Lordship said that he should
confine himself to a simple but strong expression of dissatisfaction, But what's dark to the sage may be clear to the simple,
and accordingly, when the question was put, he bawled out " No," in Who take an unprejudiced view of a case,
a bold voice. Now Denison, instead of minding what was said, was And this is as plain as a pikestaff or pimple
very likely calculating how soon he should be allowed to get away, That sprouts on the nose of an Alderman's face.
and whether he would go to Baden, or Rome, and how, and hearing The Serpent enormous, old Neptune's grand ranger,
Pam shout, he lost his head, and declared that the Noes had it. j Cuts the Cable right through with teeth sharp as a knife,
Thereupon Lord Palmerston was obliged to go into the lobby with a For though, where they sink it, " the storm is a stranger,"
ridiculously small following,_ much to his disgust. We can sympa- There, Byron says also, " the Sea-Snake hath life."
thise with Denison for being bored, but then he must remember _____
that he is paid for undergoing it, and should attend to the ~~~
debate- No More Modistes.
Wednesday. Mb. M'Mahon, who is an able Irish lawyer, sees an ; We belieye tbere are UQ more Modistes. The dresses they now put
objection to a man being hanged when he is innocent, and when a new on the back§ of the ladies are not onl sadl disnguring to them, but
trial would^prove Mm so ; and therefore has brought m a Bill for giving als0 m inconTeMent to the gentlemen. In fair justice, they
a convicted person the right to a second trial in certain cases. Con-, should be ^ d Inconmodistes.
sidermg that when the merest trifle of property is at stake you may _
have your case tried three or four times, and in three or four ways, it
seems reasonable that where one's neck is in peril one should be allowed serious remark by a rogue.
the benefit of a second investigation, if the first has been unfair or A Sanctified thief, hearing of the proposed Bill for the greatly
incomplete. The Bill will not pass this year, however, so innocent ■ required improvement of the law in criminal cases, made a grimace,
people had better take care not to be suspected, until further notice, j and said " It will increase our trials ! "
Thursday. The Duke or Marlborough being in fear lest some
Jew official might some day advise the Queen what parson to put into A Toast eor Young America.—" Here's to the Flag of Stars and
a Crown living (as if, under our precious system of Church patronage, Stripes, and may it dash its stars if it doesn't soon outstnpe the entire
heaps of parsons were not presented by Jew proprietors), caused the 1 world S"
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
23
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
onday, July 5th. Lord Derby
stated that the Braw Highland-
man who is fighting the battles
in India had not yet written
home to say what title he would
like, but the moment he signified
his wishes on the subject, Sir
Colin should be created a Peer.
Lord Campbell has been in a
great state of alarm lest the
soldier should choose to be en-
nobled by his family name, in
which case the lawyer imagines
he shall be snuffed out. But
even if Sir Colin does choose
this, the other must not grumble.
He has got two peerages in his
family, and should not be greedy.
iSor need he be so modest as
everybody knows he is. We
shall read and admire the Lives of the Chancellor none t,he less for
being grateful to somebody else for extinguishing the Lives of the
Sepoys.
Lord Lyndhurst, naturally a little riled at the way he has been
treated on the Jew question, made some severe strictures on the Bill at
present passing, and declared that it had been drawn up by some gentle-
man who had been accustomed to charge for his words by their number,
not their value, and who had therefore stuck a great lot of nonsense
into the Bill. Lobd Clancarty professed awful fear of the measure,
on behalf of Her Majesty, who, Lord Clancarty is hereby informed,
is quite capable of taking care of Herself (with the aid of Mr. Punch)
without any patronising and protection from foolish Irish Peers. Lord
Derby intimated that the question had been considered, and that if
the two Houses passed the Bill, there was no intention, on the Queen's
part, to say La Reine s'avisera. Lyndhurst then, in no very good
temper, tore up his own Jew Bill, which was much better than the one
the Lords have assented to.
The Commons went on with India and the Scotch Universities,
but the question of the fete at Cremorne was the real one of the night,
and debates whether the Ladies had any right to turn the public
out, or whether, having that right, they were wise in exercising it,
mainly occupied the senators. Some members growled dreadfully at
being "expected to go," and abused women for their curiosity and
eternal love of sight-seeing; and some, who were most sarcastic on
this subject, Mr. Punch recognised as gentlemen specially fond of
slinking from the smoking-room, going to Westminster Bridge, and
thence by a boat to Cremorne; " not that they care about the place,
but a little fresh air is really necessary to a fellah."
Tuesday. The Lords did not do much, but what was done was in the
right direction; for Lord Ravensworth (the Horatian), meddling
with an Ecclesiastical Bill, in order to increase the power of the
Bishops, was set on by Lord Debby (the other Horatian) who
hkes knocking over Bishops occasionally; and the Peers, by 38 to 12
insertion in the Hebrew Emancipation Bill of a clause prohibiting any
such interference with the Christian pulpit.
Then came a solemn and an awful ceremonial. It became the duty
of the proper officials to intimate, at an early hour, to the convict
John Company, lying under sentence of death, that the time had
come for the law to be carried out, and that though, he had had many
reprieves, he must hope for no more. He received the news in sulky
silence, and not one word of penitence fell from him. In the evening,
about seven o'clock, the fatal procession was formed, and John
Company was led to his long and well deserved doom. He was at-
tended to the scaffold by the venerable Palmerston, who vainly sought
to impress upon him the righteousness of his fate, and who was
ably assisted by the benevolent Russell, who also explained to the
guilty creature in the clearest manner, that he deserved what was
coming upon him. The culprit, however, persevered in his stolid
silence, and even an attempt by a party called Roebuck, to get up a
row, possibly with a view to a rescue of the criminal, elicited no notice
from him. Mr. Disraeli then uttered a few well-chosen and impres-
sive words, congratulating all around him in having brought such an
offender to his end, and gave the fatal signal, on which Denison
finished the law. The cheers of the whole assembly evinced their
sense that stern justice had been done.
Gold has been found in New Caledonia, so law is naturally wanted
there, and Colonial Secretary Bulwer made his maiden attempt at
official legislation upon the young colony. And as all the Dubbn
Police are Popish, and consequently the Protestants have no con-
fidence in them (for in Ireland you must know a man's creed before
you can let him look after your spoons), the Government are
endeavouring to adjust the balance. But the Irish members will not
hear of such a thing, and threaten to talk till the end of August.
Friday. Lord Dungannon, taking the House en route for Cremorne
Gardens (where the rain utterly spoiled Society's fete, and Mr. Punch
hereby pours a libation in grateful honour of Jupiter Pluvius), made
a speech about glebe houses and clergymen, and to attune his mind to
the Cremorne business, had a discussion with the Bishop oe London.
In the Commons, Mr. Disraeli promised, in the next week, a
Bill for purifying Father Thames. Mr. Punch is too much excited at
the news to be able to do more than cry, "Go it, Ben!" and to
liquor. _
THE ENEMY OF THE ATLANTIC TELEGRAPH.
Far down underneath the Atlantic's vast billow,
The Telegraph Cable was sunk in the deep ;
In the bed of the sea it possessed such a pillow,
That philosophers fancied it snugly would sleep.
For the tempest that lashes the surface of ocean
Into mountainous waves, when the stormy winds blow,
Produces no sort of perceptible motion
In the depth of the water a few miles below.
The fact is, however, the Telegraph Cable
Has a second time failed in the lowermost main,
And why, all the sages are wholly unable,
By proof or conjecture, the cause to explain.
Nor is it a very great matter for wonder
voted against the Ravensworthian proposition. The tkm should puzzle the learned and wise.
India again, m the Commons, Lord Palmerston trying to insert a As touching the Cable 'tis like they would blunder,
variety of emendations of his own m the Bill, none of which would the Bei ou°t of their d th when th t where it Ues
Commons permit. Un one occasion, his Lordship said that he should
confine himself to a simple but strong expression of dissatisfaction, But what's dark to the sage may be clear to the simple,
and accordingly, when the question was put, he bawled out " No," in Who take an unprejudiced view of a case,
a bold voice. Now Denison, instead of minding what was said, was And this is as plain as a pikestaff or pimple
very likely calculating how soon he should be allowed to get away, That sprouts on the nose of an Alderman's face.
and whether he would go to Baden, or Rome, and how, and hearing The Serpent enormous, old Neptune's grand ranger,
Pam shout, he lost his head, and declared that the Noes had it. j Cuts the Cable right through with teeth sharp as a knife,
Thereupon Lord Palmerston was obliged to go into the lobby with a For though, where they sink it, " the storm is a stranger,"
ridiculously small following,_ much to his disgust. We can sympa- There, Byron says also, " the Sea-Snake hath life."
thise with Denison for being bored, but then he must remember _____
that he is paid for undergoing it, and should attend to the ~~~
debate- No More Modistes.
Wednesday. Mb. M'Mahon, who is an able Irish lawyer, sees an ; We belieye tbere are UQ more Modistes. The dresses they now put
objection to a man being hanged when he is innocent, and when a new on the back§ of the ladies are not onl sadl disnguring to them, but
trial would^prove Mm so ; and therefore has brought m a Bill for giving als0 m inconTeMent to the gentlemen. In fair justice, they
a convicted person the right to a second trial in certain cases. Con-, should be ^ d Inconmodistes.
sidermg that when the merest trifle of property is at stake you may _
have your case tried three or four times, and in three or four ways, it
seems reasonable that where one's neck is in peril one should be allowed serious remark by a rogue.
the benefit of a second investigation, if the first has been unfair or A Sanctified thief, hearing of the proposed Bill for the greatly
incomplete. The Bill will not pass this year, however, so innocent ■ required improvement of the law in criminal cases, made a grimace,
people had better take care not to be suspected, until further notice, j and said " It will increase our trials ! "
Thursday. The Duke or Marlborough being in fear lest some
Jew official might some day advise the Queen what parson to put into A Toast eor Young America.—" Here's to the Flag of Stars and
a Crown living (as if, under our precious system of Church patronage, Stripes, and may it dash its stars if it doesn't soon outstnpe the entire
heaps of parsons were not presented by Jew proprietors), caused the 1 world S"