Punch (35.1858)

[July 17, 1858.

MOST UNACCOUNTABLE.

" CONFOUND THAT URCHIN, HERE HAVE I BEEN FLOGGING AWAY ALL DAT, AND NOT EVEN CAUGHT SO MUCH AS A TITTLEBAT.'

THE GREAT BRUNSWICK HOTEL CONTROVERSY.

The bills that have been brought forward on the above question
have been summarily dismissed, with leave to any member of the
community to move the indignation of the public again, in the event
of Mr. Cox Hughes persisting in his absurd claims. Before the
matter was dropped, that ill-Hughes-ed individual managed to have the
last word. Your British hotel-keeper will not let you off, without
making you suffer to the last extremity. With all deference to Mr.
Hughes (who has literally proved a host in himself by dealing with
so many assailants, and has shown that he can sustain heavy charges
as coolly as he makes them), we cannot come to the conclusion that
the Brunswick Hotel is exactly the House for a Dick Whittington,
or a Parson Adams, visiting London, to resort to, or, indeed, for
anyone but a person under a heavy wager to spend a thousand pounds
in a thousand half-hours.

Mr. Hughes, with a coolness that would be invaluable for his
cellar, admits that some of his bills were headed " Ascot week," and
"Derby week," as a pretext for his extra-extraordinarily high charges;
and contends that such is the custom, or rather the Hughes-age. It
would, therefore, appear that the Inns of the West End, like the Inns
of Court, have special " terms ' for special seasons, which would
suggest the necessity of an h^l-keeper's almanack on the principle
of the legal one, with these tox-ms, or term-times, prominently marked
in red-ink, as indicative of additional bleeding on such occasions.

" Hotel me when, hotel me where,
That i may know when you are dear."

To tell the truth, however, it does not appear that Mr. Cox Hughes
requires the stimulus of a race-week to justify his indulging—as far as
his charges go—to excess: for his bills in other weeks—in every week
of the Calendar, in fact—appear, from the specimens that have been
filed in the Times, to be equally racy, comprising the same dreary
courses and steaks, and exhibiting a knowledge of jockeyship not
always displayed on the part of a landlord, who is in the habit of
running for the plate. Not merely one week, but each week through-
out the year, seems with this Leviathan of hotel-chargers to be a
Ledger week. The book he excels the most in making is decidedly
his banker's book.

Mr. Hughes, however, may certainly be pronounced a right loyal
man, well worthy of his Sovereign's attention—for he has succeeded
in making the " House of Brunswick " truly dear to Englishmen—
very much dearer than the " Crown and Sceptre."

A DISTINCTION WITHOUT A DIFFERENCE.

The Constitutionnel is the Fere Duchesne of the Empire. Like his
Revolutionary model, the Constitutionnel is " diablement en colere" at
the impertinence of the British House of Peers, in daring_ to question
the right of France to introduce into her colonies " free immigrants "
even against their wills and by help of handcuffs.

The Constitutionnel, with withering sarcasm, contrasts the state of
the French and English colonies.

" There have not been," exclaims the Imperial organ, " so far as
we are aware, thousands of prisoners shot, hung, or blown from the
mouths of guns, in any French colony, without any form or trial."—
Probably not: that sort of thing is, no doubt, confined to the mother
country. " The anti-Christian spectacle," proceeds this excited pen-
man, " has not in any French colony been presented in the middle of
the nineteenth century, of towns given up to all the passions of a
soldiery; that is, to pillage, rape, and murder."—How about Algiers,
my excited confrere, and the caverns of Dahra, if the worthy Duke
of Malakhoff will permit the allusion ?

" Our colonies," continues the Constitutionnel, " are at present
models of order, peace, mutual benevolence, and good government."—
Then all we can say is, we wonder all Frenchmen don't emigrate.

" We have raised the former slaves in them to the dignity of citizens."
—And by way of counterpoise, we suppose, have degraded French
citizens at home to the condition of slaves.

" We permit them to enjoy all the rights inscribed in our code of
laws."—Considering what the rights inscribed in the present French
code amount to, the niggers ought to be exceedingly obliged to you.

But after all, this article does go far to explain the extreme wrath
of the Imperial organs at our persisting in speaking of negroes kid-
napped on board ship, and then manacled, and clapped under hatches,
as slaves. Because if this is slavery, what is French citizenship ?