Punch (35.1858)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 24, 186b.

CRINOLINE AND ITS CONFESSORS.

THE M.P. EN PERMANENCE.

ubjoined is the conclusion j The briefless barristers in knots,
of a letter addressed to a Walked up and down Westminster Hall;

morning contemporary ot, The country visitors took shots
fashionable celebrity, and | At the Gothic lett'rings on the wall;

views which may be ele- The door-keepers-mutation strange !—
gantly described as Haute Grew civil on their weary watch,

Eghse. The previous part I And now and then of talk a snatch

of the epistle consists ot j With lobby loungers deigned exchange;
insinuations of partiality, j He only said—" The House is dreary:

injustice, and subservience j We don't adjourn" he said,
to vulgar prejudice^against | He said " Of sitting I am weary,

Would I had paired instead!"

the Bishop of London
for refusing to listen to
the special pleading of the
pseudo-Eather Confessor,
Mil. Poole, and the cack-
ling of certain noisy indi-
viduals of his flock. The
remainder also indirectly
alludes to the Bishop.

He dined, inside the House, at seven;

In morning sittings he was fried;
Never was galley-slave so driven,
Eroni morn to latest eventide:
And for what purpose thus he sat,
That member knew not, nor do 1 ;
He never caught the Speaker's eye,
" However supine his official! Nor once to speak clutched off his hat;
superiors might be, he would He only said, " The House is dreary ;

not escape rebuke if Parliament \ \{ doesn't pav " he said.

■were sitting. Is there no one tt -j <<'pifthk lifp J am wparv

in the House of Peers having _ ne s^a> . Ut tnls 1 &™ weary,

manlin^s enough to ventilate .better break stones instead.

this subject in the interests of

truth and jun,ce ? u _ Upon the middle of the night,
" London, July is." ' Waking, he heard dark Dizzy crow,

And bandy compliments with Bright ;
The passages in the fore- Ymm 'neath the gang-way Ayrton's low

going sentences unneces- Came to him: without hope of change
sarily underlined should Tn sleep he seemed to vote forlorn,

Till coldly looked the grey-eyed morn
Upon the Palace Yard cab-range.

He only said, " I'm very dreary :
Past two again," he said.

He said " To one so weary, aweary,
What is five hours in bed ? "

be taken into account in translating the word " Homo." That signature must not be received
as synonymous with Fir. It is to be understood to signify a human being, a mortal, an
individual, or, as Society says, a person. Homo is a substantive of common gender, and in
the present instance is evidently to be referred to the second sex. H there were any doubt
on this point, the fact that the particular word manliness-is underscored without being
rendered emphatic in the sense of an attribute, would conclusively settle it. " Homo " is
evidently a fair devotee of the Belgravian persuasion, determined to stand up like a woman
for her parson, and the privilege of the private catechism of the confessional. We should
like to know how many yards of Crinoline " Homo " is surrounded by during her devotions ;
how much space on a seat in St. Barnabas^ Church is occupied by " Homo's" petticoats.
Though, if " Homo " is the better half of a Fir, or husband, it may be, and is, indeed, very
likely, that she has repudiated the last-mentioned garments, and wears the opposite sort

of things. Figuratively, at least, those things must needs be worn by that married lady who, | The lustiest smoker: after dark,
with the knowledge of her husband, goes to whisper everything she has to blush lor, into i N0 m[[& Havannah's fragrant spark
the ear of a reverend young gentleman, or even an old one. Upon the waters cast its ray.

He only said, " It's very dreary :
They won't adjourn," he said.

He said, " I am aweary, aweary,
And can't get home to bed."

Near Barry's stately terrace-wall

The Thames with blackened waters crept;
There, when the long debate did pall,

Time was that he had smoked or slept.
But now the odours drove away

ROME AND CARTHAGE.

Subjoined, Mr. John Bull, you have another hiss and rattle from our sacerdotal and
serpentine contemporary, the Univers:—

And ever when the tide was low,

And mud-banks drank the solar ray,
Within the lobbies came a flow
Of perfume, fraught with Thames bouquet.

" The world will never recover substantial peace until England shall have become Roman Catholic, or shall

have ceased to be a first rate power.....With England no alliance is possible. T he nations of the

earth ought, therefore, to come to an understanding, and hurl against her the famous sentence—' Delenda .

est Carthago.'" And when the tide was very low,

So, according to the Romish organ, England is the Carthage of modern Rome. Such i Fod^fThe^^
being the case, Carthage has a great advantage in knowing it, thanks to the Univers. The : a . k^}^^ Hill & Thwaites & Co '
Carthaginians will perhaps learn to keep a sharp look out after the Roman emissaries and j rr„ , •. « t. . j n j ,
sympathizers, who would of course be only too happy to facilitate the invasion of Carthage | t, >, tprv duS " he said "
by the nations of the earth which the Univers represents, if ever they should come to the j VL „;() « V>m ' iiv nhPPrv
very Catholic understanding alluded to by that eminently Christian organ. Threatened men ' t>nT"tll mv fun h« ApH >' cueery'
live long; they are forwarned and consequently forearmed. The Carthaginians accordingly I "Dai dU y u
will perhaps contrive to find a Hannibal, and more than one, who will at least give Rome

some trouble, and render her sentence for the destruction of Carthage less easily exacted Daily, within the steaming House,
than pronounced. The member's public spirit leaked

Out at his pores ; he thought of grouse— ^

Red-wattled.strong-winged, horny-beaked-
Coveys, from stubbles whirring out;
Old country houses oped their doors;
Old shooting ponies tramped the moors ;
Erom the old pool leaped six-pound trout ;

Then said he, " If the fancy's cheery,
What is the fact ? " he said.

He said " The House is very dreary,
And weighs on me like lead.

A Book has just been advertised under the title of " Tables Showing the Income-Tax at 5d.
m (he pound." We should think that the chief peculiarity by which Tables would show the The blinding Budelights in the roof,
aicome-lax at 5d m the pound, would be that of being very scantily supplied. The slow clock ticking, and the sound,

" Which to reporters, perched aloof,

Motto por the Thames Abuses.—" Live, end don't let live." 1 The spouters made, did all confound

The Giaour's Potion.

" May you eat dirt!" enraged Turks roar
The curse is nasty—vain you think it:

But as for dirt, when Thames you pour
Into your mouths, at least you drink it.