DOI issue:
August 7, 1858
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16622#0069
62 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 7, 1858.
GOVERNMENT AT GREENWICH.
ts much-dreaded propinquity
to the River, notwithstand-
ing, the Ministerial Whitebait
Dinner went off with even
more than the usual zest and
relish. The utmost possible
precautions were devised to
keep the Thames out, and
not the least taste of its
flavour was perceptible.
The musical arrangements
were all that could be wished.
Lord Derby's private brass
band of course were in at-
tendance, and played a choice
selection of their favourite
morceaux. First Trumpeter
Disraeli won thunders of
applause by a repetition of
the airs he lately gave him-
self at Slough; and Second
Trumpeter Lord Chelms-
ford, played a first rate
second, introducing a few
flourishes peculiarly his own,
and only varying the theme
by trumpeting Lord C.'s praise instead of Mr, D.'s. From the
practice they have had, the trumpeters were both of them quite up to
the concert pitch, and showed that they were thoroughly the masters
of their instruments.
That the harmony of the evening was abundantly urovided to , may
be shown by a glance at the
OFFICIAL PROGRAMME.
Aria d'intrata....." Suoni la Tromba."
Triumphal March . ... " See the Conquering Heroes come !
Fcque......" Awa', Whigs, awa'
(Illustrative of the Flight of the Palmerston Party).
Solo (Mr. Disraeli) and Chorus . " Come if you dare! our Trumpets sound."
Sentimental Song (Lord Chelmsford) " After many Roving Years."
Rondo d'adieu (Sung after the proposal of Lord Ellenborough's health, which was
drunk in Solemn Silence, Ministers all standing). " Yes, 'twas our Indian Chum.'
Song (Lord Derby) with Hebraic Harp accompaniment. " Come, arouse thee, arouse
thee, fay merry Jew boy ! "
Duet (the Lord Chancellor and the Chancellor of the Exchequer). " We know
a Bench wliereon the Trumpets blow."
[The Bench Ministerial is here probably alluded to.—Punch.']
Character Song (Lord Chelmsford) "Jobbing Around." Composed to celebrate
his Lordship's famous Magisterial appointments.
Comic Song and Chorus . . . " The King of the Caballing Hireling*,"
"Sung by Lord John Manners with exquisite facetiousness. The allusions
to the Chief of the Cambridge House Conspiracy kept the Company throughout
in a perfect roar of laughter."—Extract from the Note-booh of the Government
reporter.
Concerted Finale....." Rads, whahae." *
* The following are the words of this exquisite morceau, which was compoged for
the occasion by the After-Dinner Poet Laureate :—
" Rads, wha hae wi' Derby fed !
Rads, wham Dizzy late hath led !
Here, beside Thames' oozy bed,
Shout we Victory !
" Now's the day, and now's the hour
Derby's grapes may soon be sour;
Pam next year roay be in power—
Out of it may tve ! "
SUBDUED VENOM.
Has the Univers received a hint to hiss gently, and to hold its rattle
still? So it would seem from the following very mild sibilation of our
adversary;—
" When the United States have to complain of John Bull, they point to their
cotton fields, and John Bull becomes pliant and accommodating, So when we see
John Bull assume airs a little too superb towards ourselves, we must show him
Cherbourg, and this will be to tell him that we wish to live on good terms with
him."
The other day it was " Delenda est Carthago" with the Jesuitical
organ. England must be destroyed or Romani2ed. Now " Si vis
pacem para bellum" is the language towards England of the mouth-
piece of the Latin priesthood. Cherbourg is only meant to preserve
peace by deterring England from breaking it. The Univers has no
longer any wish that France should point her guns at Britannia with
the demand of " Your Protestantism or vour life."
THE QUACKS AND THE MEDICAL BILL.
A Great number of quack doctors met yesterday at the Charlatan's
Institution, to consider what steps to take in consequence of the
enactment of the new Medical Bill. The large room of the Insti-
tution was densely crowded with impostors. The chair was taken by
Gorman Gulloway, Esq., Professor of Gammon in the University of
Bosh.
The truly worthy chairman, having briefly mentioned the purpose of
the meeting, observed that the extent to which the interests of gentle-
men present were affected by the Act of Parliament relative to medical
men might be stated in a very few words: which he would read.
The unlearned Professor then quoted, with some inaccuracies of pro-
nunciation, clause 36 of the Act in question, which enacts " that any
person who shall wilfully, and falsely pretend to be, or take or use
the name or title of a physician, surgeon, general practitioner, &c,
shall pay a sum not exceeding £20, nor less than £5." The question
for his respectable hearers to consider was, What they thoueht of
that ?
The question having been answered by a volley of groans, inter-
mingled with hisses, yells, and cries of shame,
Dr. Billwall replied more articulately, and at somewhat greater
length. The Act might be blowed. He didn't care a dash for it.
How could anybody prove that you called yourself a doctor ? Your
patient alone could do it. He should like to see the patient that
would dare. Thank the law, there were barristers and. a witness-
box ! The Act be dashed—that was the resolution he should move.
Mr. Corners, M.R.C.S., would second that resolution. He
snapped his fingers at the Act. It would not interfere with the
operation of their own bills—either those which they stuck up or
those which they stuck in.
Dr. La. Martin coincided with the gent who spoke last. Be-
sides, suppose his own name was Solomons, for instance—plain
Mr. Solomons —and instead of that he called himself Dr. La Martin.
He didn't call his self a doctor in that case : he called La Martin a
doctor, but not Solomons.
Dr. Jones would defy the celebrated Dr. Jones to say that he (the
quack doctor Jones) had took or used the celebrated Dr. Jones's
name, even if so be that he (the celebrated Dr. Jones) knowed and
could prove that his (the quack Dr. Jones's) real name was Davis.
Howsomedever, he thought they was all under great obligations to a
noble lord in the 'Ouse of Peers, as had espoused their cause. He
would say that Lord Ebury (cheers) had merited the applause of
that meetin [for a motion he made on the clause they was a talkiu
about. On this here clause 36 that hexcellent nobleman had moved
to omit the words " or take or use the name of." He could hardly
believe his eyes when he read that there. The noble lord was for
permittin of them to take whatever name ox title they chose —
Dr. Ebury for the matter of that {laughter), or Dr. Grosvenor
(muck laughter). It was uncommon liberal of a lord: and deserved
their warmest acknowledgment. He begged to move that the thanks
of this meeting be conweyed to the noble lord in a box of popular pills,
gilt, so as to make the testimonial more 'ansome (cheers).
The resolution having been seconded by Mr. Hoardings,
The Chairman, in the most generous manner, offered to supply the
box of pills. Lord Ebury was a trump; the jolliest nobleman he
ever saw since the late lamented Earl of Aldborough.
Dr. Humby would suggest, as an amendment, that, to render the
compliment the neater, the testimonial presented to the noble lord,
whose medical opinions were well known, should be a case of
homoeopathic globules.
The resolution thus amended having been carried by acclamation,
the assembly of quacks went about their vile business.
DOG LATIN EOR DOGS IN THE DOG-DAYS.
CAUTIO !
" Ubi ut diversi canes observati sunt currantes circum vicos in statu
rabido, hoc est dare Notitiam quod Politia habent ordines seizire et
destruere omnia talia animalia inventa in ullo perambulatorio aut alio
publico loco sine magistro, nisi capistrata. Et omnes persona? sunt
per hie requisiti capere Notitiam quod omnes pos-sessores canum pati-
entes illos ire circiter extra capistrum obnoxii erint mulcto quadraginta
solidorum. » Cardine Majobe"
" Mansio JDomus, Augusti Primus, 1858."
Augury for Watering-Places
An omen of some importance may be derived from the flight of
gulls, if they fly in the direction of a sea-side hotel, their course
sr /gests to the visitor the expediency of ascertaining whether economy
does not render it advisable for him to take another one.
GOVERNMENT AT GREENWICH.
ts much-dreaded propinquity
to the River, notwithstand-
ing, the Ministerial Whitebait
Dinner went off with even
more than the usual zest and
relish. The utmost possible
precautions were devised to
keep the Thames out, and
not the least taste of its
flavour was perceptible.
The musical arrangements
were all that could be wished.
Lord Derby's private brass
band of course were in at-
tendance, and played a choice
selection of their favourite
morceaux. First Trumpeter
Disraeli won thunders of
applause by a repetition of
the airs he lately gave him-
self at Slough; and Second
Trumpeter Lord Chelms-
ford, played a first rate
second, introducing a few
flourishes peculiarly his own,
and only varying the theme
by trumpeting Lord C.'s praise instead of Mr, D.'s. From the
practice they have had, the trumpeters were both of them quite up to
the concert pitch, and showed that they were thoroughly the masters
of their instruments.
That the harmony of the evening was abundantly urovided to , may
be shown by a glance at the
OFFICIAL PROGRAMME.
Aria d'intrata....." Suoni la Tromba."
Triumphal March . ... " See the Conquering Heroes come !
Fcque......" Awa', Whigs, awa'
(Illustrative of the Flight of the Palmerston Party).
Solo (Mr. Disraeli) and Chorus . " Come if you dare! our Trumpets sound."
Sentimental Song (Lord Chelmsford) " After many Roving Years."
Rondo d'adieu (Sung after the proposal of Lord Ellenborough's health, which was
drunk in Solemn Silence, Ministers all standing). " Yes, 'twas our Indian Chum.'
Song (Lord Derby) with Hebraic Harp accompaniment. " Come, arouse thee, arouse
thee, fay merry Jew boy ! "
Duet (the Lord Chancellor and the Chancellor of the Exchequer). " We know
a Bench wliereon the Trumpets blow."
[The Bench Ministerial is here probably alluded to.—Punch.']
Character Song (Lord Chelmsford) "Jobbing Around." Composed to celebrate
his Lordship's famous Magisterial appointments.
Comic Song and Chorus . . . " The King of the Caballing Hireling*,"
"Sung by Lord John Manners with exquisite facetiousness. The allusions
to the Chief of the Cambridge House Conspiracy kept the Company throughout
in a perfect roar of laughter."—Extract from the Note-booh of the Government
reporter.
Concerted Finale....." Rads, whahae." *
* The following are the words of this exquisite morceau, which was compoged for
the occasion by the After-Dinner Poet Laureate :—
" Rads, wha hae wi' Derby fed !
Rads, wham Dizzy late hath led !
Here, beside Thames' oozy bed,
Shout we Victory !
" Now's the day, and now's the hour
Derby's grapes may soon be sour;
Pam next year roay be in power—
Out of it may tve ! "
SUBDUED VENOM.
Has the Univers received a hint to hiss gently, and to hold its rattle
still? So it would seem from the following very mild sibilation of our
adversary;—
" When the United States have to complain of John Bull, they point to their
cotton fields, and John Bull becomes pliant and accommodating, So when we see
John Bull assume airs a little too superb towards ourselves, we must show him
Cherbourg, and this will be to tell him that we wish to live on good terms with
him."
The other day it was " Delenda est Carthago" with the Jesuitical
organ. England must be destroyed or Romani2ed. Now " Si vis
pacem para bellum" is the language towards England of the mouth-
piece of the Latin priesthood. Cherbourg is only meant to preserve
peace by deterring England from breaking it. The Univers has no
longer any wish that France should point her guns at Britannia with
the demand of " Your Protestantism or vour life."
THE QUACKS AND THE MEDICAL BILL.
A Great number of quack doctors met yesterday at the Charlatan's
Institution, to consider what steps to take in consequence of the
enactment of the new Medical Bill. The large room of the Insti-
tution was densely crowded with impostors. The chair was taken by
Gorman Gulloway, Esq., Professor of Gammon in the University of
Bosh.
The truly worthy chairman, having briefly mentioned the purpose of
the meeting, observed that the extent to which the interests of gentle-
men present were affected by the Act of Parliament relative to medical
men might be stated in a very few words: which he would read.
The unlearned Professor then quoted, with some inaccuracies of pro-
nunciation, clause 36 of the Act in question, which enacts " that any
person who shall wilfully, and falsely pretend to be, or take or use
the name or title of a physician, surgeon, general practitioner, &c,
shall pay a sum not exceeding £20, nor less than £5." The question
for his respectable hearers to consider was, What they thoueht of
that ?
The question having been answered by a volley of groans, inter-
mingled with hisses, yells, and cries of shame,
Dr. Billwall replied more articulately, and at somewhat greater
length. The Act might be blowed. He didn't care a dash for it.
How could anybody prove that you called yourself a doctor ? Your
patient alone could do it. He should like to see the patient that
would dare. Thank the law, there were barristers and. a witness-
box ! The Act be dashed—that was the resolution he should move.
Mr. Corners, M.R.C.S., would second that resolution. He
snapped his fingers at the Act. It would not interfere with the
operation of their own bills—either those which they stuck up or
those which they stuck in.
Dr. La. Martin coincided with the gent who spoke last. Be-
sides, suppose his own name was Solomons, for instance—plain
Mr. Solomons —and instead of that he called himself Dr. La Martin.
He didn't call his self a doctor in that case : he called La Martin a
doctor, but not Solomons.
Dr. Jones would defy the celebrated Dr. Jones to say that he (the
quack doctor Jones) had took or used the celebrated Dr. Jones's
name, even if so be that he (the celebrated Dr. Jones) knowed and
could prove that his (the quack Dr. Jones's) real name was Davis.
Howsomedever, he thought they was all under great obligations to a
noble lord in the 'Ouse of Peers, as had espoused their cause. He
would say that Lord Ebury (cheers) had merited the applause of
that meetin [for a motion he made on the clause they was a talkiu
about. On this here clause 36 that hexcellent nobleman had moved
to omit the words " or take or use the name of." He could hardly
believe his eyes when he read that there. The noble lord was for
permittin of them to take whatever name ox title they chose —
Dr. Ebury for the matter of that {laughter), or Dr. Grosvenor
(muck laughter). It was uncommon liberal of a lord: and deserved
their warmest acknowledgment. He begged to move that the thanks
of this meeting be conweyed to the noble lord in a box of popular pills,
gilt, so as to make the testimonial more 'ansome (cheers).
The resolution having been seconded by Mr. Hoardings,
The Chairman, in the most generous manner, offered to supply the
box of pills. Lord Ebury was a trump; the jolliest nobleman he
ever saw since the late lamented Earl of Aldborough.
Dr. Humby would suggest, as an amendment, that, to render the
compliment the neater, the testimonial presented to the noble lord,
whose medical opinions were well known, should be a case of
homoeopathic globules.
The resolution thus amended having been carried by acclamation,
the assembly of quacks went about their vile business.
DOG LATIN EOR DOGS IN THE DOG-DAYS.
CAUTIO !
" Ubi ut diversi canes observati sunt currantes circum vicos in statu
rabido, hoc est dare Notitiam quod Politia habent ordines seizire et
destruere omnia talia animalia inventa in ullo perambulatorio aut alio
publico loco sine magistro, nisi capistrata. Et omnes persona? sunt
per hie requisiti capere Notitiam quod omnes pos-sessores canum pati-
entes illos ire circiter extra capistrum obnoxii erint mulcto quadraginta
solidorum. » Cardine Majobe"
" Mansio JDomus, Augusti Primus, 1858."
Augury for Watering-Places
An omen of some importance may be derived from the flight of
gulls, if they fly in the direction of a sea-side hotel, their course
sr /gests to the visitor the expediency of ascertaining whether economy
does not render it advisable for him to take another one.